Love that lasts

Chapter 16

A Stony silence ensued for a few moments before Chandni exclaimed with a gasp.

"Oh my god, look at the time!! I should have been home a long time ago. Gosh!! Atharv.... he must be whinging!!" She hastily pulled out her mobile and called home.

"Chachi, it's me. I am so sorry I just got held up here in the office. How is Atharv? Did he finish his dinner? I promised him I will read him a story tonight and forgot all about it. Has he gone to bed already?" Chandni asked a barrage of questions anxiously.

Aryan watched in astonishment the change in her demeanour, from a feisty girl ready to give back the best retort to that of a concerned mother, her face full of love for her child.

"Oh... Ok. He is already asleep. No, that's absolutely fine. Thanks, Chachi. Please don't worry, I have already told Chacha I am coming home by taxi. Yeah, I will be home shortly. I will call you again, OK?" Chandni reassured her and hung up, only to notice Aryan staring at her with wide eyes, almost still.

She clicked her fingers in front of his face, as if to pull him out of his stupor.

"You were amazing just then, the perfect mum, full of concern for your little one." He remarked, finally breaking his silence.

"I know you just warned me not to talk about your family life... So I don't know if I could ask..." He paused.

Chandni felt awkward and happy at the same time, as she realised for the first time how he was looking at her in admiration and respect.

She raised her eyebrows, encouraging him silently.

"Wasn't it tough being a parent at such a young age? I mean I can imagine how all your friends might have been, enjoying their time in college while you were busy looking after a little one. I know for sure, what the constant pressure of being responsible for another life means...it is not easy. That too after how that scoundrel left you like that. It must have taken real guts to become a single mother. Vikram ji, Chachi and your parents must have helped but still...you have done a great job I am sure, hats off to you for that." Aryan said sincerely.

Chandni suddenly felt such a mix of emotions that she never realised she was staring at him for many moments without saying anything.

It was Aryan's turn to click his fingers in front of her face.

Chandni bent her head down and started to clear the invisible dust on her dress, trying very hard to suppress the lava that was threatening to burst out of her.

Aryan came close to her and looked anxiously into her face.

"Look, I am sorry... I was only trying to appreciate what you have done." He began but Chandni cut him off.

"I wasn't brave at all. In fact I was a total coward. I tried to commit suicide when I came to know I was pregnant." She blurted out.

"What?? Oh God Chandu!!!" Aryan groaned in pain and reached out to embrace her, then stopped himself with a lot of difficulty. Chandni remained still, as she watched his struggle, with her anguish filled eyes, full of unshed tears.

Aryan walked like a wounded animal around her, his hands fisted in frustration, unable to bear the thought that she went through so much grief, and he did nothing to help her.

"I am so sorry I wasn't there for you. I was in my own hell at that time, burning with anguish that you have dumped me for someone else." He finally turned to her and apologised with quivering lips.

"Why what happened to my little fighter?" He asked, his eyes and voice full of love.

"I was ashamed of myself I suppose, just eighteen and with an unplanned child, all alone. It was a moment of desperation. I felt guilty as hell for not being careful. I didn't think I could be mature enough to take care of someone else, when my own life was in shambles... So I thought it was for the best for both of us, me and the child."

"But Chandni it wasn't just your fault, it was your husband's too for being so careless and abscond from his responsibility!!"Aryan said furiously.

"Why? Why couldn't you just reach out to me?? At least for old times' sake? I was your friend wasn't I? Or remembering me became so distasteful to you that you were better off without me?" He cried in frustration as tears streamed along his cheeks and finally collapsed onto the floor, his face hidden in his palms.

Chandni slowly wiped her eyes off and collapsed next to him, her back sliding along the wall and continued in a depressed and lifeless tone. 

"We both were too deeply sunk in our own hells to help each other I suppose. Why didn't you try, even once, to reach me?" Chandni's voice trembled.

"Chandu, what did I know? I thought you were happily married to that Rahul guy!!" Aryan said helplessly.

"I did come to your place, once. After a few months into pregnancy. I wanted to share everything with you. My condition was quite bad then. VikramJi brought me to Mumbai for a change of scenery. I was severely depressed but I couldn't take any medication, because that would have been dangerous to the baby. I was struck between a desperate urge to see you and share my grievances, and an equally powerful urge to thrash you to pieces. I sneaked out of the hotel without telling Vikram Ji and booked a return trip in the taxi. All I wanted to do was just see you once, I didn't even know what I was going to do next. I reached your Nani's home and waited inside the taxi in front of the apartments for some time. And then I saw you come out, hand in hand, smiling, with a young girl, a suitcase in another hand as if you were going somewhere with her, a taxi ready at your door. I watched you both for some time, as you Raj Singh ji's blessings and after you left, I went back to our hotel, and swore to myself that I would never see your face again. But I didn't know that he was Raj Singh Ji back then."

Every word Chandni spoke felt like a cry of help that Aryan never heard and never responded to.

"Chandu Ki Bachchi!! Do you even know who that was? That was Riya, Raj Kaka's daughter. She is like a sister to me. Kaka forcibly made me join a university in the US for my Masters and Riya already had received a scholarship. We both were leaving that day to the airport. Couldn't you just call? Just talk to me? You came all the way and left without taking that one extra step. Why?? Why do you always jump to the worst conclusion when it comes to me? I don't know what I should do or say to make you believe me, trust me I have lost all hope." Aryan just sat slumped on the floor, looking lost and defeated. The anger and frustration and Aryan's voice pierced Chandni's heart and she knew most of the blame lay with her too.

"It's not your fault at that time, but completely mine. As I said, I was not in the right frame of mind then. And I made such a blunder in taking such a big decision in my life. Perhaps it was all for the best. I don't know what would have happened if I talked to you that day.

At least you got to go to the US, finish your masters and come back fully qualified and start your dream job in Synergy. Raj Kaka could develop this company so well, with the help of your skills and dedication towards your job. You have a great job that you love and your name is well respected. What have I done apart from raising a child? If it wasn't for VikramJi's support, I would have been completely lost in the woods. He supported me in every way to finish my studies in business administration."

Aryan cut her off midway angrily.

"Stop this defeatist rant right now! You are talking as if raising a child amounts to nothing. It's the toughest job ever. And what is that crap you are talking about your studies? You were the topper in your school. You would have done extremely well whatever profession you would have chosen. I am sure you would make a damn good CEO here too, given some time and experience right now . Chandu, what happened to you? This is not the Chandni I knew!! Have our lives gone beyond our control now? I thought you were at least happily settled in your married life. At the end of the day, isn't that equally important, no matter what success you achieve professionally? Look at me, if you want to see what a hollow person looks like. I am so envious of you. At least you have a loving husband and an adorable son to go back to everyday. Then why are you talking as if your life is a failure?"

Chandni forcibly brought a smile to her face.

"Perhaps you are right, I just got carried away in my self pity and depressed mood by remembering all the old bitter moments. I should be thankful for what I got. And if you take my advice, you should be too."

Chandni looked at her watch and got up slowly.

"I should be going now, it is almost 9pm. Chacha and Chachi will be worried." Just then, as if on cue, her stomach rumbled loudly.

Aryan slowly got up too and looked at her fondly.

"Chandni, if you don't mind, should we just go and have dinner first. From the way you tummy is rumbling I don't think my Winnie the Pooh Bear had her honey for a long time. Just for old times' sake? I will drop you home in my car."

Chandni was too tempted to say no but for some reason, she just couldn't. She nodded her head slowly and smiled.

****

 A/N

That was a heart to heart conversation between them was so long due, right? 

So Chandni did try to see him after she became pregnant, but then left without meeting him due to a misunderstanding. 

Why did you think she came to meet him? 

I would love to know your thoughts on this chapter.