The Date Planner

1.18. Stubborn

After Clinton had gone, it was hard to not feel mad at Jason. Every time he joked around me, tried to tease me or even try to touch me, I would just get another notch irritated with his presence.

Even the ice cream tasted bland. And don't even get me started on the stuff Clinton bought. I had a hard time swallowing it down my throat and not bursting into tears. My face had nearly started to ache from passing out fake smiles all day.

All I wanted to do was lash out.

I don't know how but we made it till dinner, having watched movies all day. Jason had ordered some pizza because none of us were in the mood to cook despite having sat on our asses all day.

We were sprawled in front of my couch, on the carpet. Me on one end and Jason on the other with huge packets of this and that lying around us.

We had just finished another movie and I was about to suggest another before Jason switched off the TV.

"Why did you turn it off?", I turn to Jason, still munching on the bag of chips in my hand.

"My eyes will fall off if I watch anymore. Let's just take a break and talk, it's been a while and I've missed you"

He reaches for my hand before he pulls it to his lips and places a soft kiss on it, all the while his eyes on me.

These are the moments I realize why he's so charming.

But my anger is still set in place, if not that small kiss only irritates me further as I withdraw my hand to my lap.

I give him another one of my fake smiles.

"What do you want to talk about?"

He looks at me for a minute from underneath his lashes as if contemplating his words and choosing them wisely.

"You've been awfully quite all day. Not spared me a single glance and not even touched 1/4th of that stuff you made that bloke bring you. You've been passing me fake smiles all day long and you expect me not to talk about it, Jesse?"

He sounds offended.

But he's right, he's my best friend. How was I even thinking of fooling him when he knows me best? It melts my heart for few seconds because well, he noticed when I thought he wouldn't and not just a single thing but everything. Thankfully the feeling subsides, leaving me calm and not raging in its wake.

I frown at him, not shying away this time.

"You were so... rude to Clinton when he was just helping me out. What has he ever done to you? except for the fact that he's your rival in business. I get it, you guys have some history but... I've never seen you so...", I stop short as the word doesn't escape me.

Eyes filling with water because honestly, what I saw today wasn't my Jason. He was someone else, entirely.

" vile? ", he offers for me and I just stare at him with silent plea to not make me speak it.

He sighs as his eyes soften at my sight before he slumps his head back on the couch, looking at the ceiling.

"You're right. We do have history. But that's not why I was so... hostile to him today", he runs a hand through his hair before closing his eyes.

"What... are you saying?", I whisper as my heart thums loudly in my chest.

This time he looks me in the eye with a grave expression on his face.

"I know what he's done. And I can tell you, he's not as good of a man, you think he is. I can't tell you what, but I need you to stay away from him. I know you've this habit of finding the good in people, Jesse. But that man, doesn't deserve anything from you, I assure you of that", he spats, literally.

I take a deep breath as I process his words, feeling it fill my lungs until they're about to burst and finally exhaling.

"Next time you need someone, you call me and not random strangers, okay?", he says softly now.

I just nod meekly at him, not wanting to be rude when he's being so considerate for me.

"I think I'm going to go to bed now. I feel really tired", I say in a monotone.

Jason doesn't even pay me much attention as I stand up and head to my bedroom.

I look back to him, just sipping his beer in melancholy before heading back to my bedroom.

Needless to say, I don't get much sleep that night. Not straightaway anyway but yeah, sometime afterwards definitely.

Next morning, I'm quick to wake up and get ready to head out of my apartment. As I'm heading out, I find Jason sprawled on my couch with literally junk all around him.

I cringe at the sight silently but don't wait to clean up. I'm positive Jason will do it on my behalf.

Dressed in my office attire, the first thing I do is get myself coffee to clear my head.

Sending a text to Liza about how I'm going to be a little behind on the schedule and Jason about my whereabouts so he doesn't pester me all day.

For a Monday, I'm abnormally active despite having had received very less sleep last night.

But anyhow, I sit in my car and think about what am I supposed to do now.

And there on out, I do the same thing every morning for a week. So much so even Liza doesn't pick up my phone anymore around this time. I don't know why I'm doing it but it's relaxing enough. Helps me clear my head as I sort out stuff about what Jason told me about Clinton.

Honestly, I have never seen Jason so serious about something especially after having been drunk.

Never.

Ever since that day, Clinton hasn't bothered to talk to me either. Not even a single peep on his end. And I haven't approached him either. I don't know what to say anyway especially after this new found information revelation.

It's weird. It's like I'm a ghost, I feel like a ghost. I'm... in a daze as if. Looking everything through a glass.

Eventually two weeks pass by with dark circles underneath my eyes, clear signs of less sleep and with the same routine before its Saturday.

As usual, I bought a cup of coffee for myself. Now, I'm in my car sipping on it, thinking everything yet nothing as life outside just phases by me.

This morning though an impulsive idea jumps to my head and since I'm being all about doing rather than thinking, I don't waste another second on it before hitting the road.

Twenty minutes later, I'm parking my car outside Valsera & Co. and heading head straight into their lobby to the reception.

I know I shouldn't be here but I just want to overlook what Jason said and go with my instinct.

"Hello mam, welcome to Valsera & Co. How may I help you?", the reception oh-so sweetly smiles, a smile I'm sure she has become great at giving people.

"I'm here to meet with Mr. Clinton Valsera"

"And who might you be?"

"Justine Blue"

"You may please take a seat over there. I'll contact Mr. Valsera and if he allows, I'll have someone escort you to his office directly"

"Thank you", I nod at her, totally in my professional element.

I do as I'm told and as promised, a guy named Jeffrey does come to get me after fifteen minutes to take me to Clinton's office. I'm handed the visitor's card and escorted very respectfully to Clinton's Office.

On our way up in the elevator, Jeffrey tells me that he's Clinton's PA.

That has me reeling back to reality.

But I just nod at him meekly not knowing to say.

Why would he send his PA to get me?

As soon as we reach outside his office, Jeffrey knocks on his door gently.

We wait for a response until we finally get one.

"Come in"

Jeffrey opens the door for me and I walk in to the sight of Clinton standing beside his desk, reading a file very indulgently.

He doesn't look up until I'm fully into the office and, standing in front of his desk.

"Sir, Ms. Justine Blue is here to meet you"

"I got it Jeffrey, you can leave us now", he dismisses his PA with a flick of his hand, looking at me blankly yet fixedly.

His eyes not wavering from mine even as Jeffrey leaves, closing the door behind him.

His eyes roam all over my face as if assessing it for any sighs of distress but he doesn't make a move to approach me.

"You shouldn't be here, Justine", he comments monotonously.

I frown at him instead not knowing what to say.

So I put on my best professional face and get on with it.

"I'm fully aware but I wanted to", I sigh, frowning at the floor now.

"Why?", he asks me softly in the silence of his office.

That takes me off guard.

Why? Why he asks?

"Because I just... ", but thankfully I'm cut off by his reciever ringing.

That breaks our stare game as his face morphs into a frown before he gestures for me to give him a minute.

He presses the button on his reciever as Jeffrey's voice echoes in the silence of his office.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt Clinton but unfortunately Mr. Hannigan is here for the conference a little early then we were expecting him. He wants to get on with the conference as soon as possible"

Clinton leans his hands on his desk, frustration clear on his face as if he didn't want to leave right now.

He thinks for a minute or two.

"I'm on my way", He says defeatedly before running a hand through his hair and messing it up in the process.

He takes a minute to compose himself before making good of appearance and rounding the table, not even acknowledgeing me as he makes way for the door, his face stoic as ever.

Just when he's about to leave out of the door, he stops before looking at me over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Justine but this will have to wait. You're welcome to stay in my office and wait for me, I'll send someone to cater to your needs. If not then please tell them to escort you downstairs"

And with that he shuts the door behind him. The sound of the door shutting echoes in my head and in the silence of the room as I stare at the closed door for I don't know how long.

***

I take a seat in the lounge area in his office and think about how I'm going to approach this situation.

I meander around the office, looking outside the floor-to-ceiling walls at the bustling city to give me something, anything.

But I come up empty handed.

How am I supposed to tell him I still haven't told Jason? Should I even have told Jason? Should I approach the topic Jason discussed with me? Am I going crazy?

Yes, I'm.

There on out my phone starts ringing with Liza asking about my whereabouts, I don't tell her anything except for the fact that I'm busy with something but I'll try to work details from here.

And that's exactly what I do.

If Clinton wants to play hard, I'll be harder.

I make myself at home in Clinton's office lounge area as he wanted me to and proceed with my work on the phone itself.

Sometime later a girl named Kate comes in. She's an intern and apparently here to cater to my needs.

So I make do with what I've best.

With her help I set up my laptop that was in my car, on the coffee table. Ask her for something to eat along with a decaf to go and keep me on my feet.

Pacing on the carpeted floor, I instruct the work that needs to be done through my phone. Contact the clients and respond to my emails, scheduling everything properly on my laptop.

Kate leaves me be with the promise that she'll check in on me sometime, as soon as she realizes that I'm in my element and won't need her further assistance.

Being thankful for her help, I thank her and get back to work.

Clinton doesn't return to his office all day. Literally all day. Sometime after, I think he might've already retired for the evening but I highly doubt he would go to such lengths to avoid me.

So I stay.

Sometime later my work also comes to a stand still. Having done most of it and exhausted myself into a sleepy state, I get rid off my tux jacket and take off my heels.

Carefully or as carefully as I can manage with a pencil skirt that barely reaches my knee, I lay down on the L-shaped couch, on my side and instantly sleep engulfs me.

***

I wake up to the sound of papers rustling and frustrated sighs, followed by groans and hair pulling.

Eyes hazy and still adjusting to the light in the office, I sit up and try to rub the sleep off of my eyes.

The first thing I notice amiss is the blazer draped over me that's definitely not mine. It's a light grey and as far as I'm concerned, mine was beige hoping I didn't miss match my pencil skirt with the wrong jacket.

That's when I hear another frustrated sigh and my head instantly snaps to its source.

It's Clinton.

His hair disarray, like he grazed his hand through them a lot of times. Sleeves rolled up, tux jacket, mising A.K.A. was over me now in my hands. Tie nowhere to be found and the top button undone, he looks perfectly delectable. He's sitting at his desk.

There's a dozen files on his table and from the looks of it, he's struggling.

Big time.

He seems to have not noticed my awakening hence the muttering he's doing.

He leans back on his chair, giving out another frustrated groan and rests his head on the back of the chair to look at the ceiling.

His hands instantly press to his eyes as he rubs them off, running his hand through his hair yet again.

Oh boy.

"Clinton?", I softly muster out.

His head instantly snaps towards my form as he straightens in his chair and turns in my direction.

"Hey. You're awake", He says more to himself than to me.

"Yeah. Do you need help with those?", I point my chin towards the papers on his desk.

He shakes his head as if to snap out of something and frowns.

"No, it's fine. I can do it", he says, getting back to them.

That makes me frown.

I turn around to look outside through the floor-to-ceiling wall only to realize it's dark outside.

"What time is it?", I ask him before turning to him.

"Does it even matter?", he says as if he has given up.

His frustration is so clear in his voice.

I frown at him before getting up and walking barefoot to his desk. I lean on it before looking him in the eye.

"Let me help", I coax him.

He mirrors my frown instead.

"I don't need your help", he stubbornly replies.

"But you do", I reason, giving in to his frown.

"No, I don't"

"Yes, you do", I snatch the file which he was working on and step away instantly from him.

"Hey!", he exclaims before standing from his desk.

"Let me help you or I'm tearing this apart right now", I say firmly.

No beating around the bush anymore. I'm done with delaying. Anger rushes through my body as I grab the file from the top.

He looks at me for a moment before stepping forward but I tut at him instantly.

"One step and it's going to be shredded in pieces"

"Justine, no"

"Then let me help you", I demand.

"Why do you want to even help? You can go home, you know"

"I don't want to"

"Why?"

"Why?", I scoff at that.

"Yes, why?"

"Because we need to talk and I'm not going home without talking", I breath hard.

He doesn't say anything. Just frowns at me as if analyzing the situation.

That's when all hell breaks loose.

I don't know what comes over me but I dump the file on the floor and stomp my way to him.

I grab hold of his collar and pull him to me until I'm in his face, until I feel his body on mine.

I can hear the blood rushing in my ears. I can hear it so loudly, pounding just beneath the surface and I don't care. I'm livid.

"You don't get to barge into my life and make me feel happy and then just walk out when you want, you get that? You don't get to decide when this gets over. You don't get to over this just because someone I used to love makes you feel small and I can't do anything about it. You don't just get to walk away the minute I start feeling something for you. You don't get to refuse my help. You don't get to just... walk away", I whisper out the last few words.

A lump in my throat forms and tears instantly prick at the corners of my eyes. All the while, his face remains stoic. I bite my lip from crying out but it turns helpless.

I yank him away from me and turn my back to him, taking a few steps away.

I cover my mouth to stop the sobs from coming out as I hug myself to stop from shaking. Tears run down my face and I shake my head as I realize what I just did.

Oh my God, what did I do?

But I don't have time to think over it because the next thing you know, I'm yanked around in his embrace as his hands find my hair only for his lips to come crashing down on mine.