Broken Souls

Chapter 11 - Bailey

He remained silent as I clung to him, for the first time in five years it felt as if I could breathe so to speak. The guilt continued to consume me, knowing it would never disappear and wishing I could trade places with my parents. I'm not sure how long we sat there, but eventually, my tears dried up, though I stayed in his warm embrace. I swear, this man is going to cost me a lot of money for new shirts, unless I can stop ruining them.

I glanced up at him and saw that he was staring into space. I wished I could read his mind. "I bet when you said you wanted to get to know me, you never imagined I'd be this broken," I said with a smile. He looked down at me, his jaw clenched, and his gaze became so intense that his eyes seemed to turn from blue to black.

“You are the strongest f*****g woman I know; never forget that.” I was taken aback. His calm demeanor didn’t match the intensity in his eyes. “Let's get you home, what do you say?” We stood up and walked out to the car. The drive back to the Inn was silent and incredibly tense. We didn’t speak again, and I felt guilty. He had said he wanted to know everything, and I shouldn't leave anything out, so I had been honest with him. I don't even know why, gosh am I losing my mind or I’m actually starting to go crazy, that was the first time I have told anyone of that day. The tension in the car was overwhelming. “Are you angry with me?” He simply sat there, staring at the road ahead, gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “Why would I be angry with you?” I shrugged at him. “I don’t know, maybe because I ruined another one of your shirts. I know I owe you two shirts so far.”

"You don't owe me anything, and don't ever think I'll ask you for anything. I just need some time right now to gather my thoughts. This conversation isn't over by the way. When I said I wanted to get to know you, I meant it. So, at our next coffee date, I'll share something with you."

"If I had known we were on a date, I wouldn't have ruined a perfectly good shirt by getting my tears and snot all over you," at least it made him smile. "Can you do me a favor?", what favor would he possibly want but curiosity got the better of me. "What do you need from me?".

We pulled up to the Inn, and he remained silent. It seemed he had changed his mind. We got out of the car and headed back to my room. I opened the door wide, giving him the choice of what he wanted to do. He walked in, and I closed the door behind us.

Once inside, he turned to face me, his face so close, he leaned down to my ear, I could feel his breath on me. “I never want you to see yourself as damaged or broken,” he whispered. I hesitated for a moment, wanting to be honest. “But isn’t that what I am? The evidence is all over my body,”

"You are a survivor. You could have given up at any point over the past five years or even on the day of the events, but you didn’t. You kept fighting then, and you’re still fighting today."

I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Whether it was due to exhaustion or all the crying, I wasn't sure, trying to gain control of myself. "Sorry," you could feel the frustration building up, "I think it’s just my lack of sleep, but running away isn’t fighting—it’s cowardice."

I walked past him, my anger escalating. I was furious with myself, resentful about what happened to my parents, and frustrated by the fact that I’d never experience a normal life until that bastard was six feet underground. I was so drained that I just wanted to sleep for a week.

I sat on the bed, and he joined me. "I’m so exhausted. I just want to feel normal again and put an end to these nightmares. I want to have a life again. Since my parents died—or more specifically, were murdered by a deranged man—I’ve been completely alone, not allowing anyone to get close. I won’t put anyone else’s life in danger.

He remained silent as we just sat together. He stood up, and moved to the other side of the bed, he kicked off his shoes, and climbed into the bed, signaling for me to join him.

I had a day off so I knew I could rest a bit. He drew me close to his chest, and I eagerly accepted his embrace. Wrapped in his warmth, "Close your eyes." I heard him whisper, I shut my eyes and soon fell asleep.

I woke up with a surge of fear, but I quickly reassured myself that I was still safe. As I glanced over, I saw Logan asleep beside me. I carefully got out of bed, trying not to disturb him, but as soon as my feet touched the floor, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, "Where are you going?" His voice was rough from sleep. "I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd read a book on the couch. I'm sorry if I disturbed you."

“You didn’t wake me; I’m a light sleeper. What time is it?” I glanced at my phone and saw it was 5:30. “When do you start work?”

“We open the shop around eight but I wanted to take you for breakfast before I head in," lying next to him with my head resting on his chest. "That sounds good. I have a shopping date with Leila later; she's looking for a dress, and of course, she had to ask the one person who knows nothing about fashion."

He began laughing, and I couldn’t help but join in because his laughter was so infectious. "How can you not know anything about dresses? Don't all women have a thing for them?"

I smacked him on the chest, and he groaned, "Just so you know, I hate dresses. I only wear jeans and t-shirts. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to take a shower." He mentioned that he needed to leave to take a shower and put on clean clothes.

Once he left I walked to the bathroom turning on the shower and stepped under the warm water, letting the heat ease my tense muscles. After finishing up with scrubbing and washing my hair, I dressed in black skinny jeans and a long-sleeve shirt. Lost in thought, I walked to my car and didn't notice Logan standing there until I looked up, jumped back, and let out a small yelp. “God you gave me a fright,” placing my hand on my chest to calm my racing heart. He flashed me a smoldering grin.

“Sorry, that wasn’t my intention. I thought we could drive to the diner together, I’ll follow.” I gave him a nod and got into my car. When we arrived and walked in, he led us to the same table we’d had the night before. Daisy approached us with a bright smile. “Good morning, darling. What can I get for you today?” She focused entirely on Logan, not glancing at me. Logan looked up at her with a neutral expression and placed our order. Daisy nodded and walked away. “Why do you always seem so serious?”. He glanced at me for a moment and shrugged. “It’s better that way. If I keep to myself, people are less likely to meddle in my business, and I prefer to keep my distance.”

Before I could respond to him, Daisy came back with our coffee. “Your breakfast will be ready soon,” then walked away. “I promised I would share something with you, and I always keep my promises,” his eyes filled with something I can’t put my finger on. “You don’t need to feel pressured to share anything if you don’t want to.” He shook his head. “I want to share this with you, and it’s not out of obligation,” straightening himself up and staring down at his coffee. “No, you need to look at me while you tell me,” His eyes met mine, and he smiled. “So now you’re using my own words against me,” I shrugged, remaining silent as I waited for him to say something. “Remember when I said I wasn’t a good person?” I nodded slowly. “You’ll understand why once I tell you. I didn’t have the best upbringing. My father was an abusive alcoholic, and my mother did nothing to stop him. She watched as he kicked the s**t out of me daily, and I was only four years old. When I asked her why she didn’t intervene, she told me it was either me or her. Every night, when he came home drunk, I would hide under the blankets, hoping it would protect me, but it never stopped him.” I reached across the table and took his hand, relieved when he didn’t pull away. “A month after my fifth birthday, I was in my room listening to them argue, which was a regular occurrence. I braced myself, knowing he would come after me, but this time he came into my room with his gun and dragged me downstairs. My heart raced and panic took over me. He threw me to the floor in front of my mother and screamed at her. Then the first shot was fired. I looked back and saw my mother fall, shot in the head. The sound was so loud, I just stared at her, when the second shot rang out, and I heard him fall I couldn’t move. I was in so much shock. My brain tried to understand what just happened. I crawled to my mother, placing her head on my lap, I must have sat there for hours before the cops arrived. I was covered in her blood.” I squeezed his hand while still staying silent.