IceShine

VI

I look at John and Miranda speechless. Miranda starts trembling as she looks at her hands with wide eyed.

"John, hold onto it for as long as you can!"

I say, as I run to Miranda. That seems to wake him up, and he stops looking at his hand like it was some foreign object, as if it wasn't on his body, and he turns to me with a decisive look.

"Okay!"

And he tightens the branch coming from his arm around the Shadow monster. I turn my attention to Miranda who is still looking at her arms trembling with a frightened look on her face.

When I get to her, I take her hands in mine and scoop down to make her look in my eyes. "Miranda! Snap out of it!"

She looks at me, and slowly she stops trembling. But then tears come in her eyes.

"Lila..."

Now, she is full on crying her eyes out. She pulls her hands from mine and quickly puts them around my neck. I feel her wet my neck, while she holds me tightly against her. I sigh, and put my arms around her, for a little while.

Then, I push her a little away from me to turn and look at John. I get up, hold her tightly by the shoulder and go behind John, who is still holding down the monster.

"How are you holding up?"

I say to him while patting him on the shoulder. He looks slightly pale... I assume he is near his breaking point.

"I don't know for how long I can continue doing this..."

He groans, and I quickly go to a side wall and put Miranda down to sit. She was still crying but had calmed down.

"Sit here, and we're going to leave in five minutes from now."

She starts moving her head down in a nod, weakly,. And that’s all it takes for me to turn and go back to John.

"Can you hold him still for a little while more? I'm gonna send him back now."

"Okay!"

I go in front of him and pull out the key from my shirt. I take depp breath and exhale loudly. I bring my hand up and start making the Selinor symbol. When I’m finished, I shout to John.

"JOHN! LET IT GO!"

One second later, John stops holding it, and I use all the available air around me to push it through the passage. When the monster is inside, I close the passage, quickly, and put the key back to my neck. I run to John is crouched, hands on his knees and breathing heavily.

"Are you all right?"

He lifts his head and nods. His color is slightly redder than before, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

I turn to see how Miranda is, only to see her where I placed her, hugging herself. Me and John exchange a look of understanding and go to her.

We sit down next to her, so she is between us. John hugs her shoulders and puts her head on the crook of his neck. She continues to cry as I take her hand in mine, making small circles on it, so as to calm her down.

After about 5 minutes, Jason comes running towards us. When he sees us like this his eyes widen.

"What happened?"

The twins seem struck when they hear his voice, and Miranda quickly stands up and runs in his arms.

"Daddy!"

He holds her, and looks at me and John standing up from where we were sitting.

"There was a Shadow Monster. I tried to send it back quickly, but it was tough. He caught me, and then as if on instinct, John and Miranda's power manifested. Miranda has been in a state of shock ever since."

I explain to him quickly, as he widens his eyes, shocked.

"And the monster?"

"John held it down, while I sent it away. He took it more calmly..."

He nods his head, while kissing Miranda's head, in an attempt to calm her down. I turn to John, only to see him looking down on his hand. I put my hand on his shoulder. Startled, he turns to look at me.

"How are you?"

He contemplates me for a few moments before exhaling and turning to look back to his hand.

"Weird..."

Jason keeps holding Miranda, and turns to me.

"You weren't hurt, right?"

I unknowingly smile. It's been such a long time since someone has asked me about my well-being.

"I'm fine... only a few scratches. By the end of the day, I'll be all right!"

He smiles at me and then says.

"Come on, let's get you all home... You need rest."

"I have to go to my home to take a few things. I need some things."

"Are you sure? You can always go tomorrow..."

"No... the sooner I go, the better..."

I smile sadly, thinking about my parents’ house. The lonely house that I lived for two whole months alone.

"I'll go with her. Take Miranda home, and we'll be with you in time for dinner."

Says John and I turn to look at him.

"You don't have to. You used your powers for too long, you must rest."

"I'm fine... I don't feel all that tired. And also, you may need help with your things."

Jason looks at him skeptically for some seconds then sighs.

"Okay. Please be careful. If anything happens call me immediately."

We nod and follow them to the main street where he has parked his car. He puts the still crying Miranda in the front passenger seat, pulls me and John for a quick hug (it must be something they really like doing in their family) and goes to the driver's seat to take off.

…

When me and John arrive at my home, I stay put outside for a little while. I contemplate the house that I grew up in with nostalgia. The one storey house was standing in front of me in all his glory. My father built this house from the beginning, he wanted us to live here forever... like a family. But it didn't go like this at all. John gave me a pat on the shoulder bringing me back to reality.

"Are you okay?"

I give him a small sad smile and nod my head. I take the keys from my bag and open the front metal door. When we go inside, the garden was in full bloom. The flowers seem to have grown so much... as if I wasn't gone for only one day and a half.

We walk over the trail that leads to the door of the house. Soon the big white door is in front of us, and I'm putting the key in the keyhole to open it. My hand is trembling slightly, like every time I come home, since they’ve been gone, but I manage to open it.

When inside I put the keys and my bag at the table beside the door.

"Are these your parents?"

John asks me and stares at the pictures that are hanged on the wall up the table.

"Yes..."

I smile nostalgically. When they died I put those pictures there... to give me courage to continue my every day life outside of the house. I pointed at the picture to the right.

"This one, is my father on his graduation day. If I remember correctly I have one that he is with your father. He always treasured that one and he had it in his office. Remind me to take it before we go. I'm sure, your father would like it..."

He nods. Then, I point to the one on the left.

"This is my mother. My father took this picture when they learned she was pregnant with me. He said that he had never seen her happier than that day."

Then I point to the middle one which was my personal favorite.

"This is their wedding photo. It's my favorite one. Every time I look at it, even now that they passed, I remember them with a smile... not like..."

I stop, having difficulty speaking the next words.

"Not like what?"

He asks, his voice, barely a whisper.

"Nothing..."

I don't want to continue this conversation at all, so I stop there. He seems to understand my discomfort so he doesn't say anything. We go inside the living room and sit down on the dark brown couches.

"Do you want anything to drink, as I make out what I'm gonna take with me?"

"Yes, a little water would be good."

I stand up and head right next door to the kitchen. I take a bottle of water out of the fridge and a glass from the cabinet beside it, and pour the water to it. When I turn around to go back to the living room, I find John waiting for me and watching me at the door handle. He comes close to me, takes the glass from my hands and drinks the water.

He turns and puts the cup on the sink.

“Thank you."

We stay like this and look into each others eyes for a little while. Everything seems to fade out when I look into his eyes. My worries, my pain, everything. My body turns numb and I forget to look away. I'm not even sure I want to look away. I'm trying to read his eyes, to see what he thinks, what he feels... but I get nothing. It was like he had shut everything down. It felt like a lifetime before he took his eyes away from mine and sighed.

"Can I help you with something?"

I continue looking at him as I sigh.

"Yes. Come with me."

…

After I took John to the storage room to help me take a suitcase that was high, I told him to wait in the living room, as I went to my room to get my clothes, my laptop, my charger and some photos. I want to leave here as much as possible. If I decide to come back again here, I don't want it to change... it will always be my childhood room, my get away from the nightmare of my hellish routine.

After about twenty minutes, I’m ready to close my suitcase as I hear a knock on the door. The next moment John comes inside holding his phone.

"How are things going? Mom called and asked me when we would be there."

"Fine. I'm almost finished..."

He nod and comes to sit down on my bed. He start looking around the room. I suddenly felt self conscious. Not because of my room, not at all. The walls were painted baby blue and the furniture was a mixture of white and purple. At the ceiling, there were attached small stars that were lighting up in the dark. Then his eyes fall to the machine on my bedside table.

"It's a projector..."

I answer the question that I read in his eyes. He turns his head towards me. I finish zipping my suitcase and stand up. I go next to him and let my fingers touch the hard material.

"It was the last gift they gave me."

I smile sadly.

"What does it project?"

I look at him and smile.

"Stars."

"Stars?"

"Yes!"

I open the drawer down of the machine and pull out a pink box.

"These are the tapes... it's all about stars, constellations and planets. From a very young age I was interested in astronomy."

I say this while blushing and smiling embarrassed. I stay like that for a while just touching this important machine, who always made me feel better, even if it was the worst of a day. I can’t count how many nights I woke up crying from nightmares and I turned it on just to look at the stars... my only friends. I started taking my fingers away and putting the box back to the drawer.

"You won't take it with you?"

I look at the projector, then back to John.

"No... I'm not comfortable enough to take it with me. But, I'm sure that one day, I'll be able to take it out of this room..."

He looks at me, and takes my hand in his. He gave it a squeeze and that surprises me. I turn to look at him and saw him smiling.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes..."

"Then, if you are ready let's get out of here. This place makes you feel sad and I don't like that."

He says that as he stands up, not leaving my hand for even one second. He takes my suitcase in his other arm and leads me outside of my room.

"Oh, wait here a little."

I remembered the photo that I talked about before. I let go of John's hand and I go inside my father's study. There, on his mahogany office, were photos of me, of my mother, of our family... and there was the picture from his college with Jason. I lift it up and bring it close to my chest.

I go outside of his study and close, silently, the door behind me. I stand leaned on the door for some seconds, before John comes towards me. I show him the picture of our fathers and he smiles. He takes it from me and looks at it for a while. Then, he turns to me and sees me looking at my feet, trying hard not to cry. I'm not going to cry here. I don't want to cry in front of others... when I stay alone is another story.

John sees that I'm not looking at him and he puts his hand on my shoulder to get my attention. When I'm sure I won't cry in front of him, I turn to look at him. Our eyes meet and this time, I can make out what he feels. I see him look at me carefully, like he looks at something fragile, that is gonna break if he watches it a little to intently.

"What?"

"What what?"

"What are you looking at me for?"

He sighs and turns me to face him.

"You seem ready to break down."

I just look at him, trying to make out if he means what he says. I can’t be that terrible of an actress... When I see that he saw right through me, I sigh.

"It's just difficult for me... But I'll be fine..."

I give him a small smile with that, so that I can make him believe me. It seems to work, cause he gives me a crooked smile.

"Then, let's go... They are waiting for us..."

"Okay..."

He takes my hand in his again and we go to the front door. We take our things and then go out, lock the doors and start walking on the street.

I turn to look one last time at my house. I stay looking at it for some moments and John continues to hold my hand, patiently. It’s as if he is afraid to let go.

When I feel the tears in my eyes start to leak out, I wipe them away with my free hand and look back at John.

"Ready?"

"Ready..."

And I am ready... Ready to go live with them... Ready to let go of my childhood house... Ready to begin this new chapter of my life…