Hate or Love

The Light of His Darkness

"Are you alright?" Arthmael and Evelyn, followed by Julian entered Victor's chambers in a rush, walking to Estelle that was already placed on his big bed, with Victor close to her side.

"Yes, I am―"

"No, she isn't," Victor cut her off without leaving her time to explain. "Evelyn, I need you to help heal her. There was not much I could do."

"Of course," Evelyn said softly, already checking the wound on her shoulder. She looked sleepy, but worried too, just as Estelle's brothers did.

"Victor, you shouldn't have waken her up, my wolf would heal me," Estelle scolded him, who never once had moved away from her. "She's heavily pregnant and she needs rest."

"And I need you to be alright."

A sudden tensed silence fell in the room as the others exchanged some surprised looks.

Estelle blushed, not able to look them in the face now, so she looked down at her hands instead.

"What happened?" Julian asked after a few seconds as they all observed what Evelyn was doing with her healing powers. He looked sick worried, and for a second Estelle started feeling guilty. They had been through a lot, and they had lost so much already. Just the thought that she was hurt might've terrified him.

"I'm alright, really. Just one of the archers mistaking me for a rogue," she reassured him with a forced smile, despite the pain that had already started again. "It's just my shoulder. It's no big deal."

"No big deal?!" Arthmael cut in. "You're lucky it was just your shoulder, Stelle. What if it was worse than that?"

Estelle blinked a few times, not really knowing how to answer to that. Were they really that worried about her? Was she really important to the people in this room? Or was she just so desperate to believe she was, after everything that had happened between them?

"What were you doing out at midnight, anyway? Without a guard or anything? Don't you know how dangerous it is?" Arthmael continued, running his hands through his hair in frustration, while Evelyn bandaged the shoulder and stepped away from the bed.

"It's my fault, actually." Surprisingly, it was Victor who spoke. He looked away, almost ashamed, which wasn't like him at all. "I should have never said those words. Stelle ran away because of me."

Her heart ached at the desperation and guilt in his face. "I've told you, Victor, the world doesn't revolve around you." Estelle tried to lighten it up, but instead of him grinning, like she would have expected, he took her hand in his and kissed the palm softly, closing his eyes in the meantime, and then kissed the insides of her wrist as well.

It was such a gentle move, but Estelle felt like her whole world would collapse at any moment now.

Softly, Victor tucked a loose curl behind her ear, the back of his fingers stroking her check tenderly, and she leaned her face on his hand, letting herself enjoy the feel of his touch.

Only when she felt his lips on her cheek, she flushed her eyes open, starting to feel the pounding on her chest as Victor kissed her all over her face. It were barely-there kisses, feather-like and delicate, as if he was afraid of hurting her, however, the shock in their siblings' faces as they watched the scene told her it was more intimate that Victor could've realized.

Or perhaps he simply didn't care anymore.

Evelyn cleared her throat, obviously a bit embarrassed, but joyful as well. "I think we're gonna go now, guys, let's leave them some privacy." It looked like both Arthmael and Julian didn't get it at first, until Evelyn slapped her husband's arm, warning him with her eyes only. "Let's go," she whispered at him, and Estelle knew by now her face had turned crimson.

"Victor," she called as soon as they were out, trying to make him understand what he was doing, but instead he left some lingering kisses on her forehead.

"I'm so sorry, Stelle. I'm so sorry," he kept apologizing, before his lips met hers in the tenderest of kisses they had ever shared, taking her breath away instantly. "Please forgive me." He let another small kiss on her lips and then opened his eyes to look at her, their lips a few inches away. "If something happened to you tonight, I'd lose my mind," he said in a pain voice. "My damn mind. If I opened my eyes one day, Stelle, and you've disappeared, I think I'll go insane."

She felt tears burn her throat after hearing his words. Without thinking, Estelle moved her head from the headboard just a bit and caught his lips with hers, in the way she had been dreaming about since she had came in here.

But it was a second before she realized what she was doing and instantly separated her lips from him. "I..." She tried looking anywhere but not in his blue orbs. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm still mad at you. And even if I wasn't mad at you, I still shouldn't have done that―"

Victor cut her off by covering her mouth with his once more. This time, the kiss was just a bit more eager, but still delicate and careful, full of longing he didn't know he had for her until he had thought he had lost her.

"Stelle," he breathed out after letting go of her lips, desperate for more.

"Again," she pleaded in a weak voice. "Please, just kiss me again. One last time."

Estelle didn't know what she was doing at this point. She was fully and utterly addicted to his soft lips and to the way it turned all her body alive with feelings she was too scared to admit she already had for him.

Smiling against her lips, Victor did as he was told, without thinking it twice. He cupped the back of her head with his hand this time, running his fingers in her silky hair as he felt his mate cup his jaw softly and try to deepen the kiss.

The way she tried making him kiss her harder, whimpering in his mouth was both adorable and sexy in equal measures. At this point Victor didn't know how to stop. He didn't know if he could, anyway.

Except he had to.

The door opened softly and they both snapped their heads at the direction. Victor was about to shout at whoever it was that had interrupted the one time he hadn't stolen the kiss from Estelle but she had pleaded him for it, but his lips closed like a fish when he realized it was actually his mother.

Adoptive mother, of course, but she was more than any real mother could ever be.

"Mom." He moved away from Estelle, just a bit, still sitting down at the edge of the bed.

Estelle closed her eyes in embarrassment at being caught. What was she thinking? How could she have left herself get carried away like that?

"Worst timing ever, right?" His mother asked with a sincere smile spread on her face. "I just wanted to check on Estelle after finding out what had happened."

Estelle gulped, forcing to meet the woman's eyes. She had met Victor's mother only once, but she had been a lot nicer than Estelle could have thought she would be, after witnessing her son almost dying on the trial. "How did you find out?" Estelle asked in a hesitant voice.

"Oh dear, all court is awake and talking about how the King came to your rescue," Lillian said, walking to the other side of the bed.

Estelle groaned in frustration. People here gossiped even more than in her own court.

However, Victor was smiling as if this was a small victory on his part. "I have a bit of work to do, I'll leave you two alone for awhile," he said, clearly knowing his next destination in his head.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of your mate until you come back," his mother told him tentatively, smiling at him knowingly. And once again Estelle found herself wanted to cover her head with the blanket in embarrassment.

Moreover, Victor left a last kiss on her temple, before walking out of the room. Her heart did the same pounding it always did, only that this time she could feel another thing on her chest; a feeling, something that only he could create.

He had kissed her in front of his mother like they were some sort of lovers.

And she was laying down on his bed, on his sheets that had his sweet addictive scent on them.

Estelle felt lost all of the sudden. What was she doing?

"Victor is a good kid," Lillian's voice dragged her out of her head.

Estelle's eyes widened at her words. "It's hard for me to think of Victor as a kid in the first place," she said, smiling a little as she heard the older woman chuckle.

"You're right, he's a King now. He's right where he was supposed to be, with whom he was supposed to be."

The words got stuck on her throat. "No... no, it isn't like that. We're not..." she trailed off. This was just too hard to explain when Estelle didn't know herself what they were.

"So I just didn't walk here and found you two kissing?" Lillian sounded amused, but slightly worried too.

Playing with the blanket, Estelle forced her eyes up again. "It was... something of the moment... It doesn't mean anything and Victor knows it."

Lillian smiled. "I don't think he does, my dear."

The pit on her stomach was only growing wider. "Then he should, he knows that I'll go away after his coronation."

The smile on Lillian's face faded. She was honestly expecting something more, and Estelle hated when people expected more than she could offer. 

"You know you'll hurt both yourself and him if you go away, right?"

Desperately, Estelle run her fingers through her hair. "We're not that close," she tried. "He'll move on eventually. And find someone that's suitable for him." Even saying the words had given her physical pain.

"And you'll be okay with it? With watching Victor with another woman by his side, as his Queen and his wife?"

Something inside her chest ached at just picturing Victor with another woman. Irene, for example.

She didn't know what they exactly were right now, but for a fact Estelle knew she would never be okay with it. Not ever.

Not that she had a chance. She couldn't be with him so that was something that would happen one day, no matter if Estelle would be able to accept it or not.

"I will," she said with a smile.

Lillian took Estelle's hand in hers. "I think we both know that's a lie," she said. "But I suggest you to think this through. You don't want to make decisions you'll regret your entire life."

                                       ***

Victor walked on another one of the dungeons, already angry at the reminder of what one of his guards had done to his mate. If it wouldn't be for the promise he had given her, he would have killed him with his own hands.

"My- my King," the young elf-guard immediately stuttered in fear when he caught sight of Victor. He was tied with magic-proofed chains on the wall, so there was nothing he could really do.

Not that he could do anything to Victor if he wasn't. Victor was one of the strongest, maybe the strongest elf there existed in their world. And he knew it.

"Why did you do it?" He asked in a cold voice. "Why?"

"My King, I told you the truth, I swear to you. The guard at the gates told me it was a rogue. I couldn't see clearly from up on the tower. I just saw the wolf trying to sneak inside and I shoot her. Please don't kill me. Please have mercy," he begged with tears in his eyes.

Victor narrowed his eyes at him. This didn't make any sense. He had already interrogated the other guard that had swore to him he had never even spoken to the archer.

So which one of them was lying? And why?

Victor's hand turned into a fist as he focused his magic there, and instantly, the archer knelt in front of him in pain. "How do you dare lie to me? Your King? Don't you know what I do to liars?"

"Your Majesty, please―"

"How dare you shoot my guest, my mate? Your future Queen?"

The pain in the archer's body only intensified, and Victor had to remind himself once again he should keep his word. He always did.

"I swear to you I'm saying to truth," the archer cried out. "I swear, I'm not lying."

No matter the pain Victor inflicted to his body, the archer still didn't admit to anything. And the worst was that he looked sincere. Just as the other guard did.

This was strange.

Was this some kind of trap? Something done from another one to hurt her? Or maybe him. At the end the best way to get to him was her, everybody knew already she was his weakness.

And if it was true, Victor would literally rip their skin out for hurting his woman.

Without saying anything more, he walked out, feeling the urge to go and see her. Her innocent face. Her sweet smile. She was the light of his darkness.

And when he finally walked inside his bedroom, he did see her still in his bed, covered by his bed sheets. But she had already fallen asleep.

There was a peaceful look on her face, almost a satisfied smile written there as she slept. Almost like she was contented that she was surrounded by his scent. And that alone made his heart slam against his rib cage hard.

Victor moved the curl that had fallen on her face softly, not wanting to wake her up, as he studied her face slowly, his eyes lingering on the lips that he had kissed just an hour ago.

She was so close to perfection. And just the idea of having her in his bed every night, as his wife, made him realize there was nothing he wanted the most in this world.

Victor should have been scared from the realization, but in fact he wasn't. In his heart he had always known, since the very first night he had left that kiss on her forehead.

"I love you so much, little wolf," he whispered, stroking her cheek with his thumb slowly. "Just please love me back someday. Please."