Hate or Love

My Stelle

Not even running for hours and hours in the woods, on her wolf form, didn't help Estelle to clear her mind, or feel a little less hurt, one bit.

She hated Victor.

She hated him so much.

But mostly she hated how she couldn't hate him enough.

She should hate him more. Not only he murdered her father, he was proud of it. He said it on her face like it was an achievement, like he didn't know how much pain it had brought her. And maybe he didn't. It was not like he had asked, like he had cared much about why she felt that way.

He had threatened to kill her friend too. Just because he felt threatened of David getting what was his. When in fact she wasn't his. She would never, ever be his.

Right? 

The kiss invaded her mind again, just the way it had done for hours now, as though to answer the question that kept buzzing on her head, if Victor had been right to claim her, after all. Somehow, she had to stop kissing him like that and prove him right; it was becoming addicting.

Estelle let out a deep sigh as she decided to turn back. She had spent a few hours in the dark, but admittedly, she had always loved running away at night, when everyone was asleep, when there was no guard following her every step.

It felt a lot like freedom the royals never had.

Estelle used the road that sent her to the backyard of the court, rather sneaking inside that letting everyone, including Victor, know that she had been out there alone at night. If they wouldn't know, they wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

However, as soon as she entered the gates, her wolf sniffed a presence. Elf, she realized instantly, although she couldn't see him.

But Estelle had no time to think, nor make a move. A sharp pain started on her shoulder, and it erupted all over her body. Abruptly, she fell on the ground, her wolf letting out small whimpers of pain.

She had just been shot.

She had just been shot with an arrow. And strangely, Victor was the first and last thing that came on her mind.

                                       ***

Victor suddenly woke up, in the middle of the night. For some reason he couldn't understand, he felt uneasy. But then, he had every reason to feel that way.

What he had told his mate was... heartless. It was a thing to be jealous about her and David, and completely another to bring her father's death into the matter, when he knew that that was exactly the reason she hated him in the first place.

She had cried, Victor remembered the single tear that had escaped her eye.

He was a fool.

A goddamn fool to hurt her like that when she was that important to him.

There was an insistent knock on the door that made Victor narrow his eyes in annoyance. Who would disturb him in the middle of the night? And why?

"My King," he heard his personal guard's voice coming from outside the bedroom. "It's an urgent matter."

"Come in," Victor ordered without losing more time. The guard bowed down to him, and just the way he didn't raise his gaze to look Victor in the eye afterwards, told him there was some kind of trouble. It always happened. "What is it?" He asked.

"My King..." the guard hesitated for a second, his hands shaking slightly almost as if he was afraid to speak further more. "One of our archers spot a wolf trying to enter our backyard's gates, and... and he shot the wolf..."

Victor's blood ran cold instantly. "WHAT?"

"He probably thought it was a rogue but the guards are saying it doesn't look like a rogue―"

"Are you f*****g stupid, don't you know we have royal wolves as guests in our court?" He demanded, his angry voice making the poor guard flinch back.

"Your Majesty, I was right here at the door, I had no idea―" Victor didn't let him finish, instead he threw the closest cape he could see over his shoulders and rushed outside his chambers like a storm, his sight almost black in anger and worry.

Please don't let it be her. Please don't let it be her, he kept praying in his head as he opened Estelle's bedroom door with a loud bang, hoping with everything in him to find her on her bed, probably confused and shouting at him for waking her up, something she would most probably do.

Instead, the room was empty.

"Goddammit!" Victor cursed, fear invading his chest. It was such a strange feeling, he hadn't felt it in years. But now all he could feel was fear. Pure fear.

If something had happened to her...

"WHERE IS SHE?" Victor angrily shouted to the old maid that appeared out of nowhere. He hadn't even seen her in his court before, someone to her age shouldn't have been serving around, but he was too out of his mind to care right now. "WHERE IS MY STELLE?" He demanded, slamming his hand against the wall.

"Your Highness, she went for a run many hours ago. I-I think she was angry about something, she hasn't turned back yet."

The fear suddenly got all mixed up with guilt. It was his fault, his own fault for everything. If only he hadn't said those words...

Snapping himself out of the agony he was already falling into, Victor ran outside in an inhumane speed, feeling a few guards and even nobles that had waken up simply because of the noise he was causing, follow him.

And his heart almost stopped when he took in the wolf in front of him. Her body was curled on the ground, she was whimpering slightly and her eyes where half-closed, but she still managed to look at him.

She was in pain. His mate was in pain.

Victor felt like he wanted to cause pain too. To anyone that had done that to her, to anyone that had put such look to her warm brown eyes.

He knelt down besides her, caressing her golden fur softly. Her wolf was tiny and beautiful. Just the way she nuzzled on his hand, despite her condition, made his heart melt. All Victor wanted to do was wrap his arms around her fur and sleep there with her, but he had more important things to do now.

Cutting the tip if the arrow so he wouldn't hurt her more, with an only sudden move, he removed it from her body. Estelle's wolf howled once in pain, and Victor felt agony inside his chest again. He couldn't see her in pain, it was ripping his heart out.

Immediately, he cut the end of his white cape and stopped the flow of the blood with it.

"Can you shift back, Stelle? I need to check your wound," he whispered softly, as if only his voice could hurt her.

It gave her immense pain, but Estelle did as she was told.

With just a snap of his head, he looked at his guards only once, and they all turned their backs, no one sparing a glance at her naked body. And if it was another time, Victor would want to admire her tight curves himself, but instead he wrapped the white cape around her small body as he wrapped another piece of cloth on her shoulder.

It pained her, but Estelle couldn't stop looking at him. The way he took care of her so carefully, tenderly touching her skin and looking in her eyes from time to time to check if she was in a lot of pain.

"Victor," she whispered, not really knowing what she would tell him.

"Shhh," he shushed her, suddenly lowering his head on her shoulder and leaving a soft kiss on her skin.

Her heart started beating a mile a minute. Did he just kiss her like that? Did he just kiss her wound?

"Does it hurt?" Victor's soft, low voice brought her back to reality.

Suddenly, Estelle realize it didn't hurt anymore. She blinked a few times at him. "Did you do this?" She asked, surprised. Had he just stopped her pain with a kiss?

He nodded once, a ghost-smile on his face when he caught glimpse of her shock. "It's temporary. I can't heal your wound, I'm not a healer." He shifted his gaze on his personal guard, and as if with magic, it turned to cold instantly. "Go wake my sister and bring her to my chambers. Tell her it's urgent," he ordered, and once he looked at her again, his face softened once more. "Don't worry, little wolf, I've got you."

Instinctively, she wrapped her other arm around his neck, as soon as he lifted her body in a bridal style, holding her tightly.

"You," Victor hissed at the archer that had been standing at the side and shaking like a leaf the whole time. "How dare you?"

"My King, I-I swear it's not my fault," he cried desperately. "It was the night-guard at the gates. He told me a wolf was trying to get inside and I had to shot it. Please believe me. It was not my fault."

Victor had the same murderous look in his face he had had when he was at the edge of snapping out of control and murdering someone. And oh, the way he wanted to murder the elf with his own hands right now.

"Victor." Estelle's voice was firm. It was a warn, Victor knew it. If it was another time, he wouldn't have heard it, but wasn't this the reason she had ended up hurt? Because he had acted like a murderer?

Not that he wasn't, he just didn't want Estelle to see it.

"Throw him and the other guard in the dungeons. I'll interrogate them later myself," he ordered his other personal guard, walking away from all people that had surrounded them with Estelle in his hands.

"Don't kill them," she whispered, resting her cheek on his shoulder comfortably. Only that caused his heart to skip a beat or two.

"I'll try."

"Victor!" She warned. "I will not forgive you if you kill them because of me."

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Alright, if that's what you want."

"Promise me," Estelle insisted. "Please."

Victor almost smiled at how kind-hearted she was. If the arrow had hit her at any vital organ, she would be dead by now. And then he wouldn't only kill them; he would make them regret the day they were born. But, for his own sanity, she was alright and in his arms. "I promise," he whispered.

Estelle held on his shoulder a bit more closely. She didn't realize when she buried her face in his neck, neither when she started scenting him hers. It was such an instinctive thing to do.

He should be hers. He should smell like her, her wolf needed that more than she needed air to breathe.

"Keep doing that, little wolf, and I'll kiss you hard, right in front of everyone," he warned in a low, hungry voice.

Estelle immediately stopped and buried her face in his chest, ashamed, her cheeks blushing crimson.

She heard Victor chuckle lightly as he walked to his chambers, with her in his arms.