Hate or Love

Your Family

Estelle stood, sitting down at the dresser as she watched her reflection in the mirror. She had sneaked out of Victor's bedroom when he had been forced to leave her side, having to deal with some important diplomatic matters.

And she was happy for the opportunity, she wasn't sure she could leave while Victor was there. Not only because he would never let her leave just like that, while she was not fully healed yet, but mostly because she didn't trust herself she wanted to leave at all.

Was it possible to leave such smile he had on his face when she was there with him? The warmness of his eyes, the way he took care of her, something Estelle had never thought Victor was even capable of doing?

Which brought more important matter inside her head. When it was so difficult to leave his room, just to move back to the one that was temporary hers, how would she be able to leave him?

"Again thinking about him, dear?"

Estelle didn't even realize when Edith had walked inside the room. But that wasn't important, Estelle loved all the talks she had with the elf maid anyway.

She only gave a shrug as a response, as if she was saying she couldn't help it. Not thinking about Victor wasn't physically possible anymore.

Instinctively, Estelle's hand went to her hair and Edith's eyes followed the movement. "What a beautiful bracelet," she commented, studying Estelle's wrist now, almost knowingly. "Where have you gotten that, my dear?"

Estelle looked down at the simple bracelet with affection in her eyes. It was thin and made of gold, with just a small star as decoration. Nothing like the jewels royal females used, but she loved it nonetheless. "I have always had it, I think. Since I can remember," she answered.

"And I assume it's your mother's gift, right?"

"I suppose so," Estelle said, searching for her past happy memories. "I remember once she told me to never get it off. That it represented me somehow..." A sad smile spread on her face, thinking of her mother. "But of course she said it because of the star. My name means 'Star'. She always said that I was like the morning star that guides you when you're lost and hopeless."

"That's such a beautiful thing to say." The smile on Edith face was sweet, almost too sweet, but her eyes never left the bracelet. "She must've loved you a lot."

Wiping away the single tear that felt on her cheek, Estelle nodded once. "She did. Sometimes I think she loved me more than her own life," she said. "Nothing was the same... after she passed away. I had to be a mother for my brothers. And my father... wasn't the most affectionate person there could be."

"It must have been hard."

Estelle let out a sigh. "It was... And when I thought things were getting just a little bit better after Evelyn came..." she trailed off, getting up from the chair she had been sitting as she realized she had rambled a bit too much. "It doesn't matter anymore. She and my brother are happy so I'm happy for them."

"But you?" Edith questioned, suggestively. "Are you happy?"

Strangely, Victor's face was the first thing that appeared in her head when she thought about her happiness. And she thought about how she would never allow them to have a future.

"No, I don't think I am."

                                       ***

Estelle sighed in frustration. None of the arrows were hitting the target, no matter how much she tried. Yet for some reason, it felt like her lack in archery skills wasn't what was really frustrating her.

She hadn't seen Victor since a day ago. Wasn't he supposed to come and meet her, ask her how she was now? She had been injured by his archer just two days ago, and this was how much he cared.

Estelle shot another arrow and once again it ended up in another tree trunk instead of the board just some metres away. She felt like crying in angry tears.

This was too hard.

"Whose face are you imagining as that target, little wolf?"

Her body felt like it responded to his deep voice just by itself, tensing and shivering slightly.

She didn't answer, simply because she didn't trust herself to do so. How could you miss someone you hated that much?

"Is it, God forbid, mine?" Victor kept teasing, this time making some steps towards her and invading her personal space just like he always did.

"And if it is?" Estelle finally found the courage to ask, but not to turn her head slightly and meet his gaze. He was suddenly so near, and his proximity scared her.

Victor chuckled when he saw once again, her attempt wasn't successful. She was so bad at this, it was adorable to watch. "If it is, you aren't succeeding," he answered, and then positioned himself behind her back, his arm above hers as he started teaching her how to hold the arch and the arrow properly. "Just like this," he whispered in her ear this time, but Estelle found herself way weaker than she had been.

Even breathing was hard now when she felt his breath on her skin, his arms around her.

"It's really easy, little wolf. Just pull the arch until it's perfectly strained, just like this," he instructed her, all the while keeping his lips on her ear as he felt her almost squirming in his arms. "It doesn't have to be forceful, you just have to know the technique. Sometimes even tenderly, you can shoot the arrow right to the heart."

Estelle felt her heart almost get out of her chest. Why did it feel like he wasn't talking about archery at all? Like he was talking about... her?

The arrow ended up right in the center of the board this time when his hands had instructed hers, however, she felt her breath quickening when he wasn't letting her go.

"I miss you on my room, Stelle," Victor whispered, brushing his lips on her hair. "I miss you so damn much. You jokes, your laugh... I miss you in my bed."

His lips traveled down on her exposed neck, and instinctively, Estelle tilted her head on the other side, leaving him more space to kiss. Shivers ran through her body as she bit down on her lip hard, trying not to let out a moan.

"Victor," she gasped when suddenly, he sucked on her neck, not hard but the sensations that traveled through her body were like nothing else she had felt before. "Victor." Her right arm went around him, fingers running through his hair as she tried to somehow get him even closer, feeling him on her back.

"I'm addicted to you, Stelle," Victor admitted in a low, knees-weakening voice. "And I think you are to me too."

"Stelle!" The voice snapped them back to reality, and abruptly, Estelle separated her body from his like it had burned her. And in fact, it literally had. He was able to put ever fiber of her body in flames.

"Luis." Estelle forced a smile on her face when she looked at her little brother, not having the courage to look at Victor anymore. Even relaxing her breath was hard now.

Victor cursed under his breath, but he faked a smile too when he saw Julian coming after their youngest.

The look in the Prince of the werewolves was both apologetic and embarrassed. "I tried holding him back," he told to Victor, in a low tone, so his sister wouldn't hear.

For some reason though, Victor couldn't be mad at him, nor to the little boy running around happily. "Does he ever stop?" He asked, actually curious.

Julian laughed, that laugh that Victor was sure could make young women fall head over heels for him. "Believe me, he doesn't."

"You are beautiful," Luis said when he stopped in front of Victor, studying him closely.

Victor raised one brow in amusement. "Am I?"

"Mhm," little Luis continued, signing him to bent down so he could have Victor on the same height with him. It was adorable, Victor had to admit, although he wasn't the biggest fan of children in general. "Are you Stelle's mate?"

The question made them all open their eyes wide in surprise. Victor looked at her once, watching as she averted her eyes away. "I am," he simply answered.

This time, Luis walked closer to him, so he could reach his ear and whisper something to him, "I think she likes you. She looks at you when she thinks no one is watching."

This time, Victor didn't hide the wide grin that invaded his face.

"Luis!" Estelle scolded. "That isn't true." No matter how much she tried to deny it, she felt her cheeks reddening instantly. This was all just too embarrassing.

"Can you teach me to shoot an arrow too?" Luis asked, totally dismissing Estelle.

"Of course," Victor answered. "Let's go and get a small arch for you though, we don't want our Prince to hurt himself." Just as he walked away with little Luis, holding his hand, he spared her another look, winking at her once as if he was saying her brother had been right.

Estelle groaned in frustration. He was just so infuriating sometimes.

"He really knows how to crawl under your skin, doesn't he?"

"He hasn't crawled under my skin," she stubbornly said, watching the way her younger brother looked at her in disbelief.

"Even Luis has noticed it," Julian observed. "It's better you accept Victor isn't who you wanted him to be."

"And who did I want him to be?"

"I don't know, the murderer you thought he was? He isn't and you know it now." Julian said, not leaving it up for discussion.

She gulped once. "It doesn't matter how he is, what he did―"

"What he did, he did it for Evelyn," he cut her off, his voice more serious and demanding this time. "I would do the same if someone tried to do that to you, without thinking it twice."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "But father..."

"But father didn't deserve Evelyn as his wife and we all know it," he ended the sentence for her. "He didn't deserve mom too. Mom was the kindest woman there could ever exist, but it was a mistake from her to raise us, you, into believing father was a good man and we should have respected him no matter what. Maybe she was scared of him, maybe she was scared for us because she knew with that illness, she was going to die someday, but it was still not a solution to shelter us from his true self."

Estelle only heard him, not believe her ears. Never once they had talked about their mother that way. But she couldn't help but wonder if Julian was right. All her mother had ever done was try to make Estelle understand how Robert was the man she had to respect, look up to no matter what.

And maybe that was a mistake for real. Maybe that had messed up with her head a little.

"I know you love Arthmael and Evelyn, Stelle, I know. You don't have to hide it." Julian took her hand in his. "They're our family... and Victor is our family too. Maybe he's your family more than you can yourself realize."

The tears that sprang on her eyes, she wasn't able to hide them from Julian, not when he had known her his entire life. He was the only one that had never abandoned her.

"So please stop pushing people away, Estelle. Just stop.