More Than Friends

Chapter 6: Charlotte

Charlotte knew that they would freak out if she told them what she was doing, if she told them that Max had sent her an entire book to edit, especially from a new author. She knew what a huge opportunity this was and that it had the very real possibility of driving a wedge between her and the three other people she shared a cubicle with. It was the reason why she almost didn’t tell them. She seriously considered lying and telling them it was just another grammar or fact-checking project. But she was proud of herself, proud that Max had asked her to do this, and excited about what it might mean.

Ultimately, she made the decision to just come out with it since it was nearly impossible to keep anything to herself in such a small space, they were bound to find out anyway. Besides, why should she hide the fact that Max had picked her to proofread a book for him? Why should she keep it secret to placate their feelings? If he had sent it to any one of them, they would have snatched the opportunity right up too!

She looked back at the three stricken faces staring at her and wasn’t sure what to say. She'd been thrilled when Max had sent such a big project her way and it was really frustrating that the three people who would most understand her joy were also the ones who were most likely to be jealous. It curdled her pride into resentment. The silence went on a few beats too long and she almost considered storming out or telling them off or simply just turning around and ignoring them completely.

“Good for you!” Brady finally said. “That’s great, Char!”

“For real! Seriously,” Steph chirped, her face suddenly transformed into a sweet smile. “That’s so exciting… I love that for you!”

“Yeah… congratulations, you b***h,” Madison laughed.

Charlotte laughed too but wondered if there was more truth than humor behind Madison's words. She knew, out of the three of them, that she was the most driven, the most competitive, and had been the most vocal about hoping for a promotion. She probably wasn't joking at all.

“That really is great, Lottie,” Brady said, again. “Next up-- a promotion!”

“Thanks, you guys… but I don’t think it’s anything more than being the first person to the cubicle this morning, I just so happened to be the first person he saw here,” Charlotte couldn’t help trying to make the opportunity seem less than, the need for things to stay the same and not disrupt their friendships was too strong. But she loathed herself for it.

She was really only saying that for their sake, to preserve the genial atmosphere that had always been a part of their little office space. Charlotte was desperately hoping that this would be her shot at becoming editor, that Max had chosen her specifically. The four of them had been hired at Hughes Publishing almost three years ago, within a few months of each other. Several new authors signed on right around the same time, causing the need to fill multiple entry-level positions. Brady and Charlotte were about to graduate and couldn’t believe their luck at finding a jobs at the same place during a job fair at the University they both attended. She thought back to the afternoon that she had received the job offer.

It was early June, the year that they graduated from college. She left a message on Brady’s voicemail, “They just made me an offer for a job as assistant editor! Call me when you’re out of your interview.”

Brady called her ten minutes later, “Where are you?”

“O’Malley’s,” she said.

“Be there in ten minutes,” he said and hung up.

When he got to their favorite bar, she had two beers waiting in hopeful celebration.

“How was it?” she asked expectantly, handing him his glass.

“This calls for something stronger,” he said to her and to the bartender, “A couple of tequila shots, if you will kind sir.”

“Brady! Did you get the job??” Charlotte asked, grabbing his shoulders in frustration.

Brady stayed quiet until the bartender lined up the shots, limes, and saltshaker. He ceremoniously licked the top of her hand and sprinkled salt on the wet patch and then did his own; he handed her the shot glass of cold, yellowish liquid; they each picked up a lime in the other hand.

He clinked his glass to hers very primly and then yelled, “I GOT THE JOB!”

She whooped with joy, then they licked the salt from their hands, downed their shots, and bit into their limes. They slammed their empty shot glasses onto the bar, and she threw her arms around his shoulders in a hug. He picked up her up and spun her a couple of times while she squealed, setting her down gently on the bar stool.

“I cannot believe we’ll be working at the same place in the same city!” Charlotte had said, her face flushed with the alcohol and the excitement. “It’s what we’ve always talked about!”

Since they had met during their freshman year, they often discussed living in the same city and working close by, eventually becoming authors themselves. Working at the same company had only really been a pipe dream, neither of them had actually expected it to happen.

“It’s going to be the best start to the rest of our lives,” he said, sitting down next to her. “Cheers to us!” and they clinked their beer glasses together.

“Oh my gosh, we have so much to do, Brades,” Charlotte had exclaimed, thinking about the practical side of moving out of their off-campus apartments and into a whole new city.

“Yes, we do,” Brady said, leveling her with a very serious look. “But first, we have to get very, very drunk.”

She had thrown her head back and laughed then, a full, throaty laugh that filled her entire body. It was her favorite side of Brady, the fun, impulsive side that didn’t come out very often, but when it did it always made for the best moments of her life. That night was one of the more epic celebrations they’d had. Calling some of their friends, they had bar hopped, danced, and partied all night long.

It was also the closest they had come to ever hooking up. By the time they were heading back home, they were both royally drunk, and still high on their good news and their bright futures. Brady walked her to her dorm, and she told him to just stay there so he didn’t have to walk home alone. They stumbled into her room, falling in a tangle onto her bed, laughing hysterically.

“Our shoes are still on,” Charlotte slurred. “And my pursh. It won’t come off.”

“What’s a pursh?” Brady giggled, helping her to pull off the crossbody bag that had gotten tangled.

They kicked their shoes off and laid back in her bed. Her body was humming happily and she felt wild and giddy, lit up from the excitement of the night. She turned her head to find Brady looking at her, his eyes full of wanting and breathing heavily as if his desire was leaving him breathless. His longing for her made her heart race, she could feel her n*****s tighten and a tingle rush through her body. She wanted him to slip his hand up between her legs and find the throbbing center of her, to rub her ever so gently until she was whimpering for more.

She imagined him pulling her dress off in one, swift move, her bra and underwear being ripped from her body. He would pin her arms forcefully above her head, holding them there while he touched and licked her body. He would find that tender place that was aching for his touch and he would caress her there until her world exploded. He would let go of her arms and she would throw him on his back, unzip his pants, pulling them off slowly. She could see herself peeling off his boxers, touching him, licking him, while she looked into his eyes. Her touch would be feather light until he begged her and she would straddle him and sink down onto him until he was all the way inside her. Rocking back and forth, he would sit up and thrust deeply into her until she couldn’t take it anymore and they would come together, their bodies entwined and sweaty.

She could see it all happen in her mind while she stared into Brady’s eyes, her body a heaving, urgent mass of wanting. She knew he wanted her too. They were both breathing heavily, mouths slightly open; she flicked her tongue out just a little and bit her bottom lip suggestively. He let out a tiny moan that was barely audible. She waited, she tried to tell him with her eyes, tell him that she wanted to be ravished, taken, completely owned by him. She slid ever so slowly toward him, so that she could feel his hardness against her. She closed her eyes and let out a breath. She wanted him to make the move, to be the one in control.

He didn’t move; his body was frozen, like a statue. She couldn’t tell what pinned him in place— if it was fear or desire. His eyes arched up like a question, making him look a little sad and pitiful, trepidation and yearning smeared across his face. The moment came and he didn’t move, didn’t take her in his arms, didn’t even touch her. The spell was broken. She felt her desire pop like a bubble and the fantasy went with it.

She knew then that he could never be what she wanted him to be. She also realized that he coveted her in a way that was desperate and bottomless; she could never measure up to what he had built her up to be. This image of perfection that he'd been in love with for so long. She decided then and there that she would never let her guard down again and risk their friendship, it was too important to her. She couldn’t make him stop having feelings for her, but they would dim over time and he would move on eventually. One night of s*x wasn’t worth losing her best friend forever.

Eventually, she sighed deeply and said, “Oh my God, I’m exhausted! That was the best night ever.”

His face fell like it was collapsing, she couldn’t tell if it was disappointment or regret. It made her want to cry.

“Night, Brades,” she whispered, before rolling over and falling to sleep.

“It’s more than you being in the cubicle first and you know it,” Brady said now, pulling her back into the present. “You’re great at what you do and you deserve it!”

She gave him a grateful smile, “Thanks, Brades.”

She got the sense that he was forcing it, that there wasn’t as much meaning behind his words as she would have expected, or hoped. Charlotte wondered if he was jealous that it was her that had been asked to edit a full book first, if he thought it should have been him. She shook the thought from her mind, he would never feel that way. Well, maybe a little, she reasoned, that was natural enough. She could understand any one of them feeling disappointed. But just because the first book had gone to her didn’t mean that there weren’t more opportunities for the rest of them. Plus, she couldn’t imagine Brady being so jealous that it would get in the way of his happiness for her.

Her mind wandered back to that night in her bed all those years ago, just before they officially started working at Hughes. She thought about his open affection for her. She knew that he loved her and only wanted to best for her. Their gazes lingered and she watched as he turned back to his computer. Before she could stop herself, she wondered, not for the first time, about what their lives would be like if, instead of waiting for him to make the first move that night three years ago, she had just jumped on top of him and done it herself.