Dreaming Journey 1

Second dream

Building her clothes company wasn't the first dream for Manessa. She had had another dream before.

Being a mom.

Manessa always dreamed about being a mom and having a child, building a family, a strong and a big family with a lot of family members. She always liked to be surrounded by a lot of children .

But to do that, she had first to be financially in a good state.

Because she didn't want her child to live in poverty like her . She didn't want her child to live a miserable childhood like her .She wanted him to live a better life than her life . So she had to prepare this life for him.

Preparing a better life for him by being in a good financial state and by being a good parent for him.

Even though she wants to be a mom badly, she is afraid of being a mom, because she doesn't want to treat her child like her parents treated her.

She's afraid to be violent with her kids, to hit them or to beat them, or to treat them badly even though they did nothing. Manessa saw in a documentary that children get affected by their parents, and get affected by the way their parents treat them, so she's soo anxious.

Manessa wants to have children and, at the same time, she doesn't want to get married. She detested men in general .

Maybe because of her family's male members .They are all mean and they yell all the time .They are always recommending people around them to do things in their place. They never do things by themselves . Manessa really hates that. She hates men who are always ordering their mothers and wives to do things for them, like if they were children . Manessa believes that men and women are equal, and men also have to help at home, help their wives. If they know nothing about house stuff, they should at least stay with their wives, talking to them, passing time with them. The male members of Manessa's family know just having s*x and eating and asking others to do things for them. Like his uncle, he couldn't even bring water for himself. Manessa gets disgusted sometimes when she sees him.

Plus there's her father, so her idea of living her life with a man gets lower every minute, day, week, month and year.

She knew that men are different, but nice and kind men are rare nowadays.

So, for her and by her standards, finding a man is impossible. Her standards are soo high, because standards save people from living bad experiences. So she wanted a man who was tall, with broad shoulders. It would be good if he was brown. She doesn't care about it because we don't choose our faces. For his personality, he should be the opposite of her personality. It means he should be quiet and with a low temper, because Manessa is really a loud person with an energetic personality, and she wants him to be good at cooking, and someone who has dreams and purpose in life, something to live for, children who loves children, someone who can be a kid in a relationship, and a lion in the bed .

So where can she find these kinds of men ?????????

In paradise.

Even though Manessa is not thinking about getting married and kind of hates a man, she believes that God will compensate her for what she has lived until now, he will compensate her for her unlived childhood, and the past hard 16 years that were gone.

He will compensate her by helping her achieve her dreams, and giving her a man with whom she can achieve her first and second dreams.

He will give her someone who will always be glad to meet her, someone who will always thank God for having a person like her, someone who will always choose her no matter what, someone who will always take care of himself for her, someone who will always try to make her happy, someone who will always see her like the first time he saw her, someone will try always to protect her, someone who will treat her like a child, who will listen to her no matter what, someone who will choose to live all sadness and hapinness with her. Someone who will always support and help her in her life, someone who will always be there for her.

And the most important : Someone who can hear her silent words .

Yes, silent words because Manessa is a talkative person, but never talks about what she really feels for anyone. She prefers keeping things for her own and never talks about her feelings and problems to anyone. For her it's just a waste of time. She prefers to keep things for her. She just feels it is hard to say what she really feels. For her, everything is temporary and nothing is permanent, so it's not important to tell people her feelings. They will end in the end, so there's no need to tell people. Plus, she wants to be independent. She wants to live everything on her own. She wants to be a kind of autonomous person. She doesn't want anyone to tell him her problems, or to cry on his shoulder.

So for Manessa, if someone could understand what she was saying without speaking, he is the perfect man for her.