The Alpha and his burning desire

Chapter 3

Jax POV

I'm known for being deadpan, for not showing my emotions. I even seem like a tough person. But people don't know me. They only know about me the weight of the status I carry but not what it is like to live in my shoes.

I don't usually get put off by others let alone those who aren't alphas, betas or gammas. I quite easily resist the invectives, opinions and gazes of others, especially the omegas. My stature often scares them, it makes things easier for me daily.

But since a few weeks, something has changed in me. While my thick carapace had only grown stronger with the death of my mother, the thing that I dreaded so much had happened: I had found my fated mate. In fact, I knew there was a chance of that of course. But I was not ready. And even less when I found out who it was.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

It was just a few days after celebrating my birthday. Traditionally, a wolf's eighteenth birthday is the occasion for him to shift for the first time. But in the case of alphas, the first time often comes sooner. For me, it happened just after my seventeenth birthday. So, for my eighteenth birthday, no need to organize the traditional celebration for the very first shift. My friends had thrown a big party and it took me a few days to recover.

I had decided that morning to do sport in the most popular sports complex of the pack. It was run by omegas, but the services were particularly high quality: several courts, different courses, a spa and a hammam. There was even a sporting goods store in the complex. It was something great because I had to go and buy some bandages to protect my fists when I was boxing.

Hardly had I crossed the threshold of the store's door that I immediately noticed the scent of gingerbread, comforting like a family Christmas by the fireplace. My wolf, Zach, had immediately gone wild: my hands were getting sweaty, I was hot and cold at the same time, and my body seemed to want to come out of my chest as it was pounding. I looked left, right but there was no one in the store.

"I'll be there in a minute!" I heard. A feminine voice, pleasant, like music to my ears.

I was not ready. It was too soon. Too sudden. Many wolves are ecstatic to meet their mate, but not me. I didn't even want to. But this perfume so strong… I hadn't had the courage to face it. I escaped at the last moment. However, my wolf was dying to know her. And although reluctant, my body also called with all its soul. I stayed hidden not far from a*****e window. And I saw her. The daughter of the sport center managers’: Meghan. An omega.

For the very first time, I looked at her differently. She wasn't just the cute little cashier at the front door anymore. She was my half, my mate. And it was an omega. Imagine a man having crossed the desert for days and seeing in front of him a sumptuous oasis: that was how I felt. I was already thirsting for her.

After that, I ran home. I had thrown myself into the swimming pool without taking the time to undress to put out the fire she had lit in me. Suddenly, I found myself wanting this girl who had always been pretty much transparent to me. I imagined my hands in her hair, her lips on my neck, on my body. I imagined the fusion of our bodies. I saw her, in my thoughts, reaching ecstasy in my arms. What the hell!

Melania arrived at my house a few minutes after I texted her. Our other friends didn't know that we had been sleeping together for a few months. I knew she expected more and was eager to know if she would be my mate. That day, I had ripped off her clothes like never because of the excitement I had to pour out. But I felt none of the pleasure I had before with her. I had emptied myself with no desire for her, thinking only of Meghan's turquoise eyes and her lips that looked so soft.

When I saw her today in high school, even though I had managed to hold off until the end of the summer using Melania as a substitute, and even though I had sworn to myself not to approach her, I couldn't resist. I purposely wandered the hallways in the morning to calm myself down, to calm down Zach who was begging me to go to her. Zach had been mad at me every time I called Melania to empty my balls. It was ugly and dirty to do that but each of us find its account. Melania got from me the affection she dreamed of, and I managed to contain my urge to break down the doors of the store and take my mate on the counter.

I barely had time to smell her scent in the hallway when she hit me head-on. How did I resist the urge to slam her against a wall and kiss her suffocatingly? I don't know. Those big turquoise eyes that constantly inhabit my mind were staring at me. Take it upon yourself Jax, hold back. I finally let go of her arm. She had visually inspected my body in detail and what she saw clearly seemed to please her. I walked away calling her “Little Omega”. She must have found it reductive.

My excitement was very visible through my cargo pants, and I didn't want to risk her noticing. Well, her or anyone else. I had no other choice but to rush into the most isolated toilets of the school to calm myself down, to empty myself of the desire I feel for her. The more I watch her, the more I like her. The more her beauty seems obvious. And the idea of someone other than me laying eyes on her consumes me from the inside. This year is going to be unbearable.

At mealtime, it was impossible for me to take my eyes off her. When she jumped into the arms of this guy, I had the choice between slitting this one's throat or leaving to contain the rage that ran through my veins. My pulse had suddenly quickened, my fangs had started to lengthen, and it was a matter of seconds before Zach took control.

So I went to the only thing that could calm me down instantly: her locker to smell her scent. I should have left before the cafeteria meal was over, but I was intoxicated by her smell, and it was already too late when I saw her arrive, alone.

After that, I had no control over what I said to her: I wanted to push her away as much as I wanted to push her towards me. And I ended up hurting her. Well done, Jax.

Either way, she and I will never be together. She's an omega and I'm an alpha. I'm not ready to love. I can't disappoint my father, because his existence seems to be hanging by a thread. I must make him proud. I must show the pack that when I take over from my dad, they'll be in good hands. They will have an alpha and a luna that will protect them at all costs, because they will be strong together. I can't mark an omega.

When Meghan will find out that I'm her fated mate and that I had to reject her, it could kill her. Might as well get her used to hating me.