Breaking Barriers

Challenges

I seldom see John because he is busy at School. Mostly we see each other Saturday night. I really longing for him seems like my day is incomplete if I cannot see him. I miss his hugs his kisses and everything about him. I missed his clean smell. If we just have s****l contractions I will think that I am pregnant but we don’t reach to that point yet. He texted me everyday however there’s also a day that he forgot to text or call me. I am already getting upset especially that I know that the girl he used to love before is studying at the same School. And now he failed to text me for 2 days already. I am holding my phone now and thinking if I text him first however my ego hits me so I decided not to text him first. Today is Thursday so we still have 2 days to meet however I really wanted to confront him because I felt that he is already getting cold towards me. I put my phone on top of my bed and go to the kitchen. I keep myself busy to divert my mind because I really got hurt of what John did to me. I cook dinner and when I am done I already called Papa and my siblings. We eat together while talking so I was able to forgot John.

We are done eating and currently cleaning the kitchen. After that I do my night routine before I go to bed. I check my phone and get disappointed when I still did not receive a text from John. I already burst out in anger and decided to call John. After few rings John answer. “Babe how are you today?” I am not good and it is all because of you. Seems like you already forgot everything about me. Alright you can spend more time to whoever makes you busy. I will give you the freedom you want. I said. I did not let him answer because I hang up right away and cry. I use my pillow to cover so that Papa and my siblings cannot hear. My phone keeps on ringing because John is calling but I did not answer his call. I receive a text from him and says “Babe please answer my call and let me explain.” I still did not answer his call. John keeps on calling but I already decided not to answer. I just cant believe that he forgot to call or text me for a few days. That means he no longer care about me. I did not notice that I fell asleep and when I woke up it is already 6 in the morning. I check my phone and saw 50 missed calls from John and a lot of text. “Babe please answer my call.” “Please don’t do this to me. I thought you will fight for me and won’t give up.” Babe please hear me out” I also read another text that seems like he is already mad. “Alright Lyn if that’s what you want then go ahead because you don’t care about me anymore.” “I just don’t know why it is so easy for you to let go of me.” Seems like this man did not sleep last night. I also read a message that was sent at 2am “Babe I am sorry. Please just trust me.” “Babe please answer my call or else I will ask Marco to go with me and bump in your home.” I also read another message from him. “Babe are you sure about what you said? If that’s what you want I will quit School. I never responded to his messages and decided to get up from bed and do my morning routine. I look at the mirror and worried because my eyes is getting smaller because of crying last night. Papa will surely ask me why I am crying. I go straight to the kitchen to cook breakfast. It is Friday today and we supposed to meet tonight but we can no longer do that. While cooking I almost burn the egg because of always thinking about John. So after done cooking Papa and my 2 siblings eat breakfast and leave. So it is me and Love left at home. I really don’t know what to do. John hit me this hard that it seems like I cannot move on. I take love to my room and give her toys so that she can play. I don’t feel of doing anything today. I only wanted to lie on my bed the whole day. I check on my phone and it shows another missed calls from John. While I am thinking on how to move on and it comes up on my mind that I will meet Kiven and my other friends tonight and maybe try to get drunk for the first time. I just wanted to experience how to get drunk. Kiven keeps on texting me however I always turned down their invitation because of John.

We are now eating dinner and after we eat dinner I clean the kitchen first. After that I go straight to my room and change. I received text from John again “Babe please meet up with me tonight or else I will bump into your home. I will expect you at our hang out place at 7.” I did not response to his message and instead text Kiven. I ask Kiven where they are right now. “Hi Lyn we are here at the park. Can you join us tonight? We already missed you.” I did not response to him. I set myself ready and leave. I pass by Jam’s house and unfortunately Jam and Dianne was there and almost leave to go to our hang out place. Oh boy how lucky I am! Jam called me because she thought I will also go there. “Lyn let’s go. We are also going to our hang out place.” Jam I’m sorry I am not going to our hang out place I need to go somewhere.” Seems like they are both in shocked. “Alright then. Did John aware that you are not going?” No. Just don’t mention to him please. I said so Jam just nodded. I get a ride right away and go to the park. When I reach there my friends are smiling at me and seems like they are so happy. They are drinking a cocktail drink right now. I am looking at my friend Noel who is in charge on the drink. I tell Noel that I want to drink. They are all in shock but smiling. Ah first time, are you brokenhearted? Noel ask while Kiven and other friends are looking at me. I smiled at them and get the glass with cocktail. No Noel I just decided to have a taste of it so that I will enjoy this moment. I seldom meet you guys so I just feel that I wanted to experience to get drunk tonight. I said. I can see that they are smiling now. Alright if thats what you want. We are happy to hear it. So I drink the cocktail right away. After that seems like my face is hot and I am already tipsy with just one shot. I drink again the second round. It is feeling good now. I am happy that I belong to a circle of friends, with them I felt a bit ease of being hurt.

My phone is ringing now and saw that John is calling me. Seems like Jam betrayed me and I am sure that John is aware that I went out. Noel is wondering why I did not answer the call and I told him that I don’t want anybody to disturb me tonight. So he just nod. I received a text from John so I read it “Babe where are you? I know you went out. Please pick up the or else I will look for you anywhere.” I felt a bit nervous on his message.” After drinking 4 shots I already felt drunk. We are laughing now even if for a nonsense joke. While I am enjoying I saw 5 persons approaching to where we currently seated. When they are near us I can see that it is John, Marco, Dianne, Jam and Clark. I was so shocked when I saw them. John’s eyes shows danger he must be so mad now. If looks can kill I am already dead now. Kiven and other friends know Jam and Dianne so they are smiling at them. “Guys I will borrow Lyn first I know that you are enjoying but we have some important matters to discuss. So I excuse to my friends and walk near to them. We are walking near the shore Marco, Dianne, Jam and Clark leave John and me. Jam say sorry for bringing John here. He is so desperate earlier to see you. I just smiled at Jam and they leave us. John is looking at me angrily now. Even if it is dark I still can see his eyes. I got drunk a bit now but I still cannot look John. “I am waiting for you but you don’t have any intention of meeting me. I called you multiple times and texted you however you did not answer me. You did not even let me explain why I wasn’t able to text or call you for just 2 days. Why is it so easy for you to decide to let go of me?” And now you are drinking? Since when you learn to drink? Because the last time I know you don’t even taste it.” John said. John you forgot about me and I was hurt. I started to cry now. Maybe because somebody else makes you happy. Why don’t you tell me now? I know it will hurt me but I will accept it. “Thats what you really thought? How shallow your trust in me. I just can’t accept that you don’t even let me tell you the reason. I accidentally dropped my phone and the screen was cracked so I need to send it for a repair that is why I did not call or text you for 2 days. Now if you already decided to broke up with me I will let you go now. John said! I felt ashame after John told me. He is about to walk out and leave me however I run after him and hug him at the back. I cried hard because I really cannot let go of him. “I am sorry Babe please forgive me I cannot let go of you. I love you Babe” I said while crying. He just let me hug him for a few minutes. After that he seems like calm down and remove my hands to face me. He is holding my face on his both hands and wipe my tears after that he motioned my face up so that I can look at him in the eye. He started talking now. “Babe can you please trust me? You don’t have any idea what I went through since last night I don’t have sleep and I did not attend my afternoon class today because I badly wants to go home. I am thinking of you the whole time and I am getting crazy because you did not answer my call and text. Please don’t do this to me again. Will you promise me that you will trust me and don’t give up on us easily? John said. I am still crying and nodded. He hug me tight and I hug him back. I am crying on his chest now while John is tapping my back and told me to stop crying. “You even drinking what if we did not arrive? You will be wasted and you trust your friends to send you home? They are still man Babe.” John said. This will not gonna happen again Babe I promised. Thank you for forgiving me. He kissed me intensely and it takes a few minutes. After our kiss we both smiling now. “John said, “Babe I want you to introduce me to your friends. I am your boyfriend so they should know that. I smiled and nodded him. At the back of my mind I don’t like the idea. Michael did not move on yet and I don’t want to hurt him.