Nothing to Hide

FOURTEEN

FOURTEEN

“Oh, it was incredible! Amazing!”

For the better part of an hour, Toria and Jane told tales of their fun at Crimson. The excitement kept on going and going like the Energizer Bunny.

The fact that she’d been in the shower when they returned didn’t slow them down. They’d burst into the bathroom, talking over each other, trying to say everything at once. The talking continued through to the bedroom. Dressed, made-up, ready for the day, they were still telling stories.

“I’m thrilled you had such a good time,” Roxie called over their chattering, silencing them both. “But shouldn’t we… you know? Get you ready for your flight?”

“That’s more good news,” Jane exclaimed, grabbing her hand. “We’re flying with you!”

“With me?”

Toria nodded fast. “Astrid said it was arranged in California and thought we knew. You’re dropping us off on your way to the east coast.”

Dropping them off in a Boeing Triple Seven. “Oh, okay,” Roxie said.

“Yeah, Astrid said Zairn would be totally cool with us tagging along if it wasn’t for the documentary crew.”

“Yeah,” Jane added. “And the fact we’d lose our jobs.”

Toria scoffed. “Who cares about work? If I got the chance to follow Zairn Lomond around, I’d do it for the rest of my life. He’d never get rid of me.”

Both roommates laughed.

Uneasy, Roxie sank down to sit on the chaise at the end of the bed. The documentary would show that she and Zairn had met. In the long-term, it wouldn’t matter that her girls didn’t get real-time details. Once the documentary aired, they could bombard her with questions, and she’d answer them… if she could.

Zairn was like two different men. The Talk at Sunset guy, idolized by her friends, and the man who’d slept under her on a couch. They’d only known each other a couple of days. Roxie had known herself for twenty-six years and was still figuring herself out. That didn’t bode well for her future with Zairn.

They didn’t see Zairn before or during the flight. Jane and Toria ran out of fuel and spent most of it sleeping. Saying goodbye wasn’t easy. Before Sunset, the plan was for them to go home together, back to their lives together.

The sleek limo awaiting them on the tarmac outside the plane was some consolation, for her friends anyway. After a lot of hugs, some tears, and promises to keep in touch no matter what, Roxie watched their frantic waving through the back window as the car drove away. Still on the concrete, she lingered so long that Astrid had to come out and remind her that their journey wasn’t over.

On the plane, Astrid showed her into the room beyond the party zone. It was more private-jet-like, as per her stereotypical imaginings at least. Sumptuous leather recliners, recessed accent lighting, a sweet scent mingled in the air… It was like a movie.

She gave up on the idea of accomplishing anything on her laptop and went to a window seat to listen to music. Messing around on her phone kept her distracted from what may lie ahead.

Someone touched her shoulder.

“Zairn,” she said, taking out her AirPods as he sat opposite her.

“What are you listening to?”

“Music,” she said, offering him one of the earbuds.

He took it and put it in his ear. After a second, he registered the music and gave her one of his looks. She was getting used to him thinking she was strange.

“That’s Haddaway.”

“Yep,” she said, putting the phone and AirPods on the narrow table by her chair.

“Nineties dance. You like nineties dance music?”

“So what?” Roxie asked, taking the AirPod when he offered it back. “I like happy music. I like dancing.”

“Hey,” he said. Holding up his hands in surrender, he sank back in the luxurious seat. “Not my place to judge. Just, you know, let me know when you get to this century.”

“Oh, ha ha,” she said. “You’re one to talk. You own the most premium dance venues in the world, and I haven’t seen you listen to music even one time. Too busy counting your money?”

“That’s me, Scrooge McDuck.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Thought you didn’t watch cartoons.”

“He’s less of a cartoon and more of an idol in my circles,” he said. “He’s who we aspired to be when we were kids. We worship him.”

After just a few seconds in her vicinity, he’d put a smile on her face. “Sacrifice virgins in his name or would that be a waste of a virgin?” His shoulder rose in a minute shrug. “Role playing with you in the bedroom must be a lot of fun. I should warn you that Lola Bunny wouldn’t go with Scrooge McDuck, not in a million years… Not unless she was really, really drunk.”

And it would require a Disney, Warner Bros crossover; that was unlikely… Yeah, corporate competition, that’s why it wouldn’t happen.

Rather than tease or flash those suggestive eyes her way, Zairn shifted and cleared his throat. “I’m glad you brought that up.”

“Brought what up? s*x? Doesn’t take long for you to steer the conversation in that direction.”

This was where he’d point out that she’d been the one to bring it up. Being in opposition was what they did for fun.

“Right,” he said. “I apologize.”

Apologize? Okay, not the way she’d expected him to go. Keeping her on her toes? Interesting.

Dampening her impulse to laugh, Roxie needed more from him to figure out the aim of their new game. “Do you?”

“Yes, I’ve been unprofessional. For that, I apologize.”

Serious? Solemn? Respectful? It wasn’t a game; it was hilarious. His affect morphed right in front of her. Rather than being his usual self, lacing every glance and word with innuendo, he carried an air of aloof authority.

“Oh, this is good,” she said, lapping up the faux detachment. “I love this.”

Zairn continued. “I should’ve shown more decorum. It wasn’t appropriate to spend the evening in your suite… or for you to spend it in mine.”

“The night,” she said. “We spent the night together. Twice. In a row.”

“Roxanna…”

How many women had heard that compassionate note in his voice? Hundreds? Maybe thousands.

The gentle let down of his pitying tone didn’t patronize her, though she did lose the battle against damming her laugh. “I’m sorry,” Roxie said, noticing his offense. “It’s just funny.”

“It’s funny?”

“Yeah,” she said, sliding her feet from her shoes to tuck her heels on the front edge of the seat. “It is funny. This morning you were all, ‘f**k it.’” Her impression of him didn’t do anything to ingratiate her; his expression soured even further. Leaning over her knees, she lowered her volume. “You would’ve f****d me this morning if your buddy hadn’t walked in.”

“Doesn’t make it right,” he said. “We’ve gone about this all wrong.”

“You’d prefer to do it properly? Moonlight and roses? Come on, Zairn, that’s not what you do. You’re a ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am’ kind of guy.”

“You think so?”

“Oh, I know so,” she said, exaggerating her movement when looking around the room. “Don’t see any wife or girlfriend around to suggest otherwise. You’re not known for your lasting relationships. You’re known for sticking around until it suits you and then disappearing.”

“You spent the night with me anyway.”

Roxie shrugged, settling back in the seat. “Not because I was looking to change you. I was never in any danger of falling in love with you… And nothing you say will convince me there would ever be any chance of you falling in love with me. You were fun… or I thought you were.”

For a beat, he assessed her. “Do you grasp the scrutiny we’ll be under during this tour? Do you have any clue…? The documentary crew have carte blanche. They’re CollCom affiliates, but that doesn’t necessarily buy me loyalty.”

CollCom was the name of Knox Collier’s family business. Strange that a multibillion-dollar multinational could be called a family company, but what did she know about it?

“So walk in here and tell me the truth,” Roxie said, smirking at him while gesturing up and down at him. “Don’t come in here with this ridiculous sympathy act.”

“The truth?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Either your buddy guilted you into this or you’re not at all the man the press makes you out to be.”

“And who’s that?”

“Fun, independent, arrogant, entitled, the kind of guy who does what feels good and doesn’t give a damn what the world thinks. I’d have more respect if you told me the truth that I don’t fit the image. Makes sense to me. I’m not a glamorous actress or dazzling supermodel.” She shrugged. “I don’t give a s**t, Zairn. I don’t live and die by the click of the paparazzi lens. You do. So, walk in here, tell me it’s been fun, but you have to concern yourself with your professional image.”

The clamp of his jaw took its time to loosen, reminding her of their first meeting. “I told you this was PR.”

“Yes, you did. I won’t embarrass you by approaching you or pretending to know you. Can’t say I planned to throw myself on you the moment the camera was turned on, but that’s what you wanted to make clear, right? We don’t know each other, we’re strangers. Hands-off. It’s clear.”

With her knees tucked against the arm of the chair, she leaned closer to the window, trying to see the ground beneath them. Down there was life, and love, and action. The world always kept on turning.

“You don’t care?”

She glanced his way. “About what?”

“About this.”

Roxie smiled. “There is no this. There never was a this… What is it you want exactly? Tears? You want me to beg for your attention? You’ve got the wrong woman for that, Mr. Lomond. My self-esteem is fine. I don’t define myself by the relationships I have with men. Now or ever.

“As for this? No trust means no this. You’d never be able to trust me and that’s cool. I only got out of a serious relationship a couple of months ago. I am not in the market for another one.” Sliding her feet from the seat, Roxie scooched to the edge and leaned all the way forward to rest a hand on his knee. “I’m sorry you got hurt.” He recoiled in sync with the jolt of surprise that went through him. “That you thought there was a chance of anything happening between us. We can still be friends just… with a little more distance.”

“I… Roxanna, I don’t…”

Speechless didn’t look like part of his regularly scheduled programming.

“I’ll stay away from you as much as I can,” she said. “I don’t want to send mixed signals.”

He kicked into gear. “You were the one dry humping me this morning, you were right f*****g there.”

“Yeah,” she said without any embarrassment or intention of denying it. “We were messing around. We both said it didn’t mean anything.” Grabbing her own knees, she straightened her arms. “Did you think it meant something?”

“No, I—”

“Did you want it to mean something?”

“No! I…” When he didn’t come up with anything else to say, she widened her eyes, anticipating an explanation. “Fine. Okay. Forget it.” He shot to his feet. “We keep our distance. That’s it.”

“Okay,” she said, sliding back in her seat. “Works for me.”

Movement in his jaw suggested there was something else in his throat. The scowl darkening his expression formed clouds in his brooding eyes. Roxie waited, but nothing came of it. He marched off, slamming the door at the other end of the cabin.

She blew out a breath. The captain’s voice rose from the speaker to tell them they were beginning their descent. They were going down, wasn’t that just the perfect metaphor for her life?