Life After You; Time Heals All Wounds

Finding A Cure

Ethan’s POV

Attending the funeral of the woman that you love isn't something I would wish on even my worst enemy. watching her laying there, looking better than she has in months, yet devoid of the spark that made her Rosa was one of the worst things I had ever done. When we were preparing the body I took her ring and the chain that I put it on and decided to wear it myself. I never got to fulfill the promise that I made when I slipped that ring on her finger, instead I took her ring as a promise of my new commitment to find a cure. 

The day of her funeral I stood apart from everyone else, watching them cover the woman who held my childhood and my heart with the same dirt that we had been raised on. Our classmates put notes and letters, honorary patches, and even her sports clothes on top of the coffin and in with her. Our school gave her an honorary high school diploma, even though she hadn't attended the last of her classes. They granted me the same privilege, keeping our grades the same as they were the day that she collapsed. 

Rosa’s focus on grades and making sure that we were both ready to attend college made it easy to get into a pre-med program and to take organic chemistry as a second major. I threw myself into it, taking 24 credits a semester, finishing my entire program within 7 years rather than 10. I didn’t go out, I didn’t see anyone, I didn’t talk to anyone outside of my childhood friends. Everything I did was about getting to a point where I could make it up to Rosa, where I could fix the failures that I saw within myself. 

I quickly got a job with a firm that was working on cancer research, making myself one of their youngest specialists. I spent long hours in the lab, often sleeping there and leaving only to eat, shower, and work out. After 3 very long years I found what I was looking for, a treatment that took the rate of death down from 100% to 30% for cases that were detected early. With enough time and study I was sure I could find a way to make it even better. 

In those 10 years I didn’t feel lonely at all. I didn't want anyone around me, I simply wallowed in the pain that I felt, wanting to redeem myself in a way that I knew I would never be able to. I knew that my family worried about me and that her family did too, but I couldn't talk to them I couldn't face the problems that had sprung up in my life. It was simpler to throw myself into research, to make sure that I was occupied at all times. When I had down time I became angry, angry at the world for taking Rosa from me, angry at my colleagues for not throwing themselves harder into their research, and angry at myself for not finding a way to save her. 

The first few years I destroyed my room a few times, spending months at a time sleeping on broken bed frames and eating off a single plate that I had managed not to break. Then I discovered boxing classes and the clarity that came with swimming in the evenings in the universities pool. In a way that activity felt like I was still with Rosa. I could remember the way that she described the water as freeing, the way that she would glide through it like it was nothing. When I was in the water it felt like I would surface and she would be there to tease me for my times. 

When I finally made my breakthrough it was time for testing, to apply the cure that I had found to the first round of people. The medication I developed had passed through animal trials at the beginning of the year, making it ready for human tests on my 28th birthday. In a tribute to Rosa we scheduled the tests to start on the day of our engagement. I also named the medication after her, Rhodonxane, the rose treatment. 

I wasn't going to be the one administering the tests. Instead, I would be the one collecting and looking at the raw data. I didn't want to know the names of any of the patients, I didn't want to know anyone's name if I failed them. I just wanted to be left alone with my numbers, to make sure that I had all of the information that I needed to continue to improve the medication. 

I personally delivered the first doses of the medications to the doctors running the trial, making sure that strict procedures were followed before leaving and going home. All I could do now was wait. Each week I would bring in the doses, leaving them in the clinic before anyone showed up. At the end of the week they would send me the information about how the treatments were working in a completely anonymous format. Everything from side effects to cravings and every single possible medical scan would be included. Anyone who didn't want to be part of the trial was free to resign at any time and I would use their data up until that point, giving a reason that they dropped out. 

The first few months there was nothing remarkable, all of my patients were doing well. The doctors at the clinic invited me to meet them, get to know them and see the people that I was helping. It was a kind offer, but I didn't want to put a face to the data that I was collecting. I hoped that I would never meet any of them, it would be easier that way, kinder. 

Everything changed on the 6th week, when I met an amazing woman as I was delivering the medication to the clinic. She turned my world upside down, challenging everything that I knew and turning me into the man that I am today. This is the story of how we met and how I learned to feel again.