Not his family

On their way

*Catalina*

I quickly pack our bags, getting the things I know we will need, and trying to push the fear of doing something bad away.

I know that if Rafael finds out, there will be hell to pay, for me at least. But I am just doing it for the kids right ? For them to get out and experience things they wouldn't elsewise.

As I get back out I stop and watch him play with my children and I can't help but smile. It is clear that they already adore him, and he really is very sweet and kind to them. Well, he is handsome too, I can't help but notice that fact, but it doesn’t have anything to do with my choice.

"Ready to get going ?" I ask and he looks up, his eyes shining, he seems to enjoy it just as much as the kids. Rafael never plays with them like this and rarely at all, he always seemed to think it beneath him.

He sends me a flashing smile, making my stomach erupt in butterflies for some reason. "Yup, we are all very ready to get going".

The kids erupt in cheers and I pick up Adrian, while Angel and Gabriel both grab Zac's hands, pulling him with them to the car. I get the kids strapped in and Zac takes the bag, putting it in the back.

"I better drive my own car back to my place, just in case". Zac says, and I nod, knowing that he means if Rafael should come back home. I Can lie having taken the kids out, but not about his car being there.

So I follow him to his place in my own car, parking outside. He has an apartment in a nice looking light apartment building. He parks in his assigned spot and comes over. "I just go grab some clothes, I'll be back in 5 minutes. Do you want me to drive by the way ?"

"That's fine. Well if you want to, I am not so fond of driving on the freeway". He smiles and opens my door, and I get out, suddenly feeling like I am way too close to him. I find myself looking up at him, damn he is tall, his lips part slightly, like he wants to say something, but then he hurriedly looks away, and I hurry over to the passenger side.

About five minutes later he is back with a bag in his hand, putting it in the back of the car, before getting behind the wheel of my big SUV.

*Zac*

On the way down to San Diego, we all talk about what we are going to see and try for the next couple of days. The kids are very excited about it all and very happy, and it makes me happy to partly be responsible for them being this joyful.

It feels so natural to talk to Catalina, we both tease, laugh and talk seriously, finding out we agree on a lot of things and the few we disagree on is unimportant stuff, where we accept each other's views.

I can't help but get the feeling that this is how life should be at my age. Doing things like this with a wife and family, this is what I have always dreamed of, and I have to remind myself that this isn't my family.

When we arrive at the hotel, where I had called in advance to make a reservation for a three bedroom bungalow, everyone is tired. I had chosen the bungalow, so I can help Catalina with the kids and it is also more private.

"I think we should just unpack and then we can go out, find a place to eat, and make more plans for the next couple of days". I say and Catalina nods.

She turns on the tv in the living-room area, and the kids plop down in front of it, not making much of a fuzz.

She looks curiously at me. "Which room is which ?"

"I made them put two kid beds into this one for the boys and Angel can sleep in the big bed". I say opening a door. "And I thought you should take the main bedroom, just across the hall".

"No, you are paying, you should have the grand bedroom, I can take the small room". She says, pointing to the last door.

I shake my head and say softly. "I am going to insist here darling, you need it more than me, it also has you closer to the kids. So the grand bedroom is yours, so go unpack".

"Thank you". She says, laying her hand softly on my cheek for a short moment, and I can't help leaning slightly into the touch.

Then she takes her bag and goes to unpack and I do the same, realizing that a part of me would have liked to share the room with her, but I am not sure if it is about wanting a family or if it is about her. Also I shouldn’t even be thinking about it.

When we are done, we walk down to a nice family restaurant close by. I am pushing the stroller with the boys and Catalina holds Angel's hand, and it just feels so perfect and so right walking there, talking, relaxing. Damn, I want this so badly for myself.

In the restaurant both Angel and Gabriel want to sit next to me, so I have them on each side, and Catalina sits on the other side with Adrian in a high chair.

Dinners go very well and when we walk back towards the hotel Catalina places her hand on my arm. "You are so amazing with the kids, I have rarely seen them so well-behaved when out, especially when tired like this".

"Thank you, but they really are great kids and you have raised them very well". I tell her and I mean it. She is always so loving with the kids, but it is clear that they also respect her.

*Catalina*

"I want Zac to tuck me in". Angel says being stubborn. We are back at the hotel and I have already tucked in the boys and they are both sleeping soundly already.

"Angel you can't just demand that sweetie, come on let mommy tuck you in". I say softly.

My daughter is shaking her head, just as Zac shows up. "It is okay with me, I can tuck her in if it is okay with you ?"

"If you really want to, it is fine with me". I say, and he smiles and nods, taking Angel's hand, and she happily follows him to her bed.

A minute later I sneak a peek into the bedroom, Angel is tucked in and Zac is singing softly to her, making my heart swell. Rafael has never done anything like this, this is how a father should be, this is how a man should be.

But sadly he is not their father, and not my man.