Not his family

Their hopes

*Catalina*

As I finally get my breathing and body under control, I try to roll down beside him on the bed, but he tightens his grip on me and makes a whimpering sound. I can't help but giggle, as he looks at me with the expression of a begging puppy. "Zac sweetie I can't stay on top of you".

"Why not ? I actually really like the feel of you on top of me". He says, pulling me closer, and kissing my neck softly.

Well, I do kind of like laying like this, being as close to him as possible, reveling in the feeling of his body against mine. It sparks memories of what just happened. It was the most amazing s*x ever. I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that anything can feel that good.

What am I to do ? He is just too utterly perfect in any possible way. How can I ever give him up ? It is not fair to ask me to. We need to find a solution to all of this, because I need to be with him.

When he slacks his grip, I slide down beside him, still in his arms, being pulled as close to his body as possible. He whispers softly in my ear. "That was absolutely phenomenal darling".

"I have to agree, it really was". I whisper back, snuggling closer to him. I am closing my eyes, savoring the feel of him and breathing in his scent, trying to remember it for the time we will be apart.

After a while I look up at him. "I really hate to, but I better get going soon. I have to get home before Rafael does, it would be a disaster if I am not".

"I hate for you to go too, I would rather keep you here forever, but I know you are right". He says softly, kissing me one last time before letting me go.

As I start putting on my clothes, I send him a loving smile. "And I'd rather stay here forever, but unfortunately I can't".

"I hope you know this, s*x wasn't the reason why I wanted to see you". He says putting his arms around me, kissing my neck. “I did not plan for this”.

I smile, before answering. "I know sweetie and it wasn't the reason I came over, but admittedly I am not complaining about it".

"Oh me neither". He says kissing my neck again. "But when can I see you again ? I am missing you already, and no matter how short we will be apart I know it will be way too long".

"I wish I could say, but I don't know for how long Rafael is home and what his schedule is, but I will write to you as soon as I know, okay ?" I turn in his arms, looking up into his warm eyes.

He kisses me softly before letting me go. "Well it has to be, not that I like it, but I am not really having a choice here. The most important thing is that you stay safe".

*Zac*

I sigh after waving goodbye to Catalina. I really hope I can see her again soon, very soon. I literally wish Rafael would just go to hell, that he would disappear somehow.

She really took me by surprise, I hadn't expected her to be that forward and in control, but I guess she needed it after the way Rafael treats her, so I let her call the shots this time. I didn't want her to feel in any way that I was just taking over control after him.

But well the next time I need to show her how to let go, but in a good way, I don't want to control her, but I want to make her feel good, to feel her tremble under my touch.

I actually have a plan, but that calls for Rafael going away for a longer time again, and I don't know how often he does that. She has told me he travels a lot, so I hope he won't be home for too long.

As I pull off my clothes to take a shower I notice a handprint on my chest, making me chuckle a little. She had grabbed me hard enough to leave an imprint on me, I guess she has now left a mark in every possible way.

The warm water feels good on my skin. I just wish Catalina could be here with me. I want to share everything with her and with the kids. I want to help them, to give them a better life, but I honestly also want a family. Problem is that I want this family.