Not his family

Back home

*Zac*

"Can you handle getting them home and to bed ? Or should I follow in my car ?" I ask as we stop in front of my house that evening, the kids all asleep in the backseat aften the long drive home.

She smiles warmly at me. "I can handle them, but thanks for the offer and thank you so much for a wonderful couple of days. The kids really enjoyed it".

I motion for her to get out of the car and I do the same, grabbing my bag before going around the car to where she is standing. I put my bag down betjene my feet. "And what about you ? Did you enjoy it ?"

"More than you can possibly imagine". She says, biting her lip softly and blushing slightly. I know she is thinking about that kiss, a kiss I have been constantly thinking of too and that I am about to repeat.

I step closer, placing a hand on each side of her on the car roof, caging her in, and she looks up at me, making me catch my breath. "Me too, and I don't want this to end, I want more, I want us".

"Zac I ...". I can't hear it right now, I can’t stand her telling me that We can never be more than friends and I silence her protests with a searing kiss, that she seem only happy to return. My arms sliding around her, her hands grabbing my neck, holding me there, as she melts to me.

I don't want the kiss to end, because I know it will be goodbye, and I don't know when I get to see her again, but in the end we have to break apart, simply to breathe or I fear I would faint.

I trace a finger down her cheek. "I promise, we will find a solution. I don't want you and the kids living in fear of Rafael for the rest of his miserable life. You deserve happiness, you all do".

"I wish I could be that optimistic Zac, I really do. Goodbye sweetie". She leans up to kiss me very softly, and then she gets back in the car and drives off.

*Catalina*

I must admit I have to choke down my feelings as I wave goodbye to Zac. I don't know when I will see him again if ever, and right now I don't want to leave him at all.

As wrong as I know it is, I also know that I am seriously falling for him. How would it be possible for me not to ? He is so sweet, generous, good with the kids, helpful, passionate, not to mention so very handsome, sexy and a great kisser, just to top it all with a cherry. He is like my every dream come through and I kind keep looking for the thorns, knowing every rose has Them.

When I get home I carry the boys inside first, one at the time, gently getting them out of their clothes and into bed, where they continue to sleep. Luckily they are very sound sleepers, have always been.

Then I pick up Angel, carrying her inside, she opens her eyes looking at me. "Are we home now mommy ? Where is Zac ?"

"Yes we are home princess, and Zac is at his own home". I tell her, I really hope the kids won't go talking about this to Rafael. I am wondering if I should just tell him I went alone down there with the kids, then he won't complain too much.

Angel snuggles into me, her little voice so very tired. "Mommy you should marry Zac instead of daddy, because then he would be my daddy and I would like that very much".

"You know what sweetie ? So would I, but it is not that easy I am afraid". I tell her, feeling a pang in my heart that my little girl feels that way.

She closes her eyes again, mumbling softly. "I wont tell daddy about Zac, I promise you mommy … just promise we can see him again, and have fun".

"I promise you that baby girl, now go to sleep okay ?" I say and she nods slowly, already halfway off to sleep again. I really hope I can keep that promise.

I tuck her into bed, going down to get our bags, putting the clothes in the laundry and taking a long shower before going to bed. Feeling I am trying to erase every trace of my betrayal.

But my sleep is not a good one. I have a terrible nightmare, where Rafael takes the kids from me, telling me that he will take them with him back to Puerto Rico and that I will never see them again.

I wake up drenched in sweat, with my heart pounding. I will never let him take my kids away. I would kill him before I let that happen or he would have to kill me … which would probably be the more likely outcome.

How I wish I had a pair of strong arms to hold me and a warm chest to snuggle into right now, but it is not my husband's embrace I long for, it is Zac's and I sigh as I roll myself up as a little ball. I should let him go for his own sake, this can almost only end in either heartbreak or danger for him, possibly both, but beside my kids he is the only light in my life, I am not sure I am strong enough to let him go.