I Wish

Chapter 42

If there was anything that quickly became apparent within the first five minutes of sitting down, because without speaking about it we were both in perfect agreement that he was not chasing us away from our table, that the dislike I’d felt the last time we’d met was not drug induced. I don’t know what it was, but it was like every bone in my body screamed threat, eliminated with prejudice. He wasn’t too happy with our presence, which made like no sense because he’d been the one to seek us out. He sat leaning back in his chair like he owned it, and I guess he did, arms folded and scowling impressively.

“I could have sworn he was a hallucination,” I said to Ivy and reached for food.

“No, he’s real,” she replied tersely. Nudging her with my foot under the table I pouted when her attention turned to me.

“Well now I’m just disappointed,” I grumbled, everything about this guy set my teeth on edge. From the perfectly pressed white linen shirt he was wearing, to his smug smirk, to the flower crown perched on his blonde curls excessively perfect and in place. Even the way he was wandering around with bare feet seemed downright unnatural. 

“Little spitfire isn’t she?” he sneered down at me, as if he found me cute. Have you ever had a moment where you are so mad that you fulfill the worst stereotypes about the group that you belong to? I’m sure I’ve heard something like what I’d said next somewhere, more than a few times even, but nothing like it had ever left my mouth before.

“You know we combine words where I’m from too, when we need adjectives for nouns. Like s**t-cunt, as in you are a s**t-cunt,” I intoned as if I were bored. In reality I was a bit embarrassed by it, mostly because it felt borderline bogan, and more than a little because I was imagining exactly what my mother would do if she ever heard me speak like that. I could be fifty and still utterly screwed. Ivy more than made up for my lack of confidence by exploding into laughter. I am talking full on lost it, drink coming up her nose, choking on her own inhale and cackling like a witch. It was not what they portrayed on TV as sexy or glamourous, in fact she looked like a dork. Not a fairy queen, but a normal everyday dork, and my heart swelled at how ordinary it felt. Like we were right where we were supposed to be.

“I love you,” she coughed, wiping her eyes and trying to be somewhat discreet as she dabbed at her nose. She quickly gave up, and blew it. That she somehow existed as a person instead of the silver screen standard was comforting. Taking some of the pressure off of me, and leaving some breathing room when it came to the whole being perfect thing.

“I know,” I chirped somewhat heartlessly, smirking at the fuming king across from us. Ivy’s cheeks were red, and she was still shaking. Trying to stifle her giggles.

“Such crassness is hardly befitting the company of a queen,” he drawled like it was relevant. The only person who decided who was fitting company for a queen was the queen herself.

“Haah, you're all stuck telling the truth and he didn’t deny it,” I crowed, and that was it for Ivy’s attempts to pull herself together, “What’s your problem anyway?” 

“He wants me, you impede that,” I managed to cough up. Somehow the knowledge that he wanted her but could have her because I was f*****g it up was so very satisfying. It also woke something unbelievably petty in me, and I went looking for the next stone I could throw and the place it would hurt more to hit with it. In a shorter amount of time than I was morally comfortable with I zeroed in on his eye shadow. A subtle but still metallic glittery silver shimmer that made it obvious just how thickly he had lined his eyes in black.

“Where’s a magpie when you need one?” I commented almost immediately, “They love shiny useless stuff, and it’s spring. You should be having a problem, not being my problem.” He all but gaped at my audacity, and I’m glad he recognised it for the death threat that it was.

“Uh-uh, this is a spring paradise, those demonic hell birds are banished to the human realm unless under threat of death,” Ivy said shaking her head and finally settling down, “Though it has to be said, leaving him with a flock of magpies when he wants to disrespect you sounds like a great idea to me.” More terrifying than poisonous snakes, spiders or drop-bears, the magpies were the real reason that you should consider if you were really ready for Australian wildlife. If the answer to that question is yes, and you’ve never encountered Australian wildlike, then feel free to take a dunce cap and reconsider. 

“It hardly matters how much stupidity you want to apply to a situation to amuse yourselves at my expense,” Kaede sighed, obviously sick of being ignored when not the but of the joke, “There is no escape from what is coming. This will not be permitted to stand, and when all is said and done your precious Ivy will belong to somebody else, preferably me.” The hopeful and jaunty tone he added that last part one with bellied the look on his face. Like what he wanted was an opportunity to hurt her, and he thought that this would provide it. If not to him then to whoever did get their hands on her. I’d heard Ivy growl before. This inhuman noise that rumbled like thunder and carried the warning of more threat than you could shake a stick at. It turns out humans could make that noise too, because it tore out of my throat so violently that I tasted blood on its way out of my mouth.

“Over my dead body,” I challenged with a voice that filled my chest, echoing so loudly around us it felt like it could move mountains, and promised death. 

“That is a pet,” Kaede hissed, before stalking away trying very hard and failing at looking like he wasn’t running away. Coward. The further that he got the more the aggression I’d been filled with melts away. My body started to ache, as if to remind me that I’d never healed from Isaac, I’d just woken up healed. Ivy nudges me before I can fall too far down that rabbit hall.

“Is that going to be like Isaac?” I asked in a small voice. She shook her head.

“No, I promise it isn’t going to be like Isaac,” she answered, “But that is definitely going to come back to bite us later… I don’t care, that was great. It was soooo worth it.”

“Did I do something dumb?” I asked cautiously, as if I hadn’t figured out the answer to that yet and wasn’t already becoming aware of exactly how badly that could go.

“A-yep,” Ivy replied brightly, “Did you get us both in trouble? Uh-huh. Am I still going to help you because you’re my best friend?”

“f**k yeah,” we choroused, and it was my turn to laugh. Okay, so maybe there was something I had been missing while I was here. If I’d been soulessly denied WIFI for no good reason heads were going to roll, I swear to god.

“You guys have tik tok?” I asked incredulously. She grinned at me as if I’d said something ridiculous.

“Yes we have clocks, and time is that thing that exists here,” she said snarkily, and I just stared at her for a moment. She was kidding right? Ivy had to be messing with me.

“Ivy, sweetheart, do you know what an app is?” I said, playing it as if there was nothing wrong with what she had just said. Her nose crinkled, and it was darling. Fluttery butterflies flapping around my stomach as she did.

“Not even a little bit,” she says, shaking her head. Now this should have been the moment for a conversation. She didn’t know what an app was, let alone tik tok, so how did she know almost perfectly word for word something peeled directly from her? An angry green eyed monster started to form at the possibilities. If I had been willing to acknowledge how not okay this was, instead of burying it with shame, we might have talked about it. Instead the potential that she might have so much as a human friend made me scared to find out, and wasn’t that level of double standards I was willing to stoop to a slap and a half in the face. Rather than deal with any of it I straight up repressed that s**t as it occurred to me, and oh look it was another choice that was going to come back and bite me later.