Beyond The Wall

Boxed

Delta's P.O.V

Starting to wake up I feel groggy and dizzy. My mind is racing with questions, "why am I kept here, where am I, what kind of this place is, is this because I run away from the officer?" He punched me, I remember that at least I could get a fair trial and tell my side of the story. I'm starting to get annoyed.

"Hello, is anyone there? I'm sorry I ran away from the officer but he hit me!" It was a lame excuse but still, I thought it was valid. Who does that to a twenty-two-year-old girl?

Nothing, silence, and dark. I lay on the bed, and close my eyes, inhale and exhale, air changes again around me, a few moments pass by and I feel myself drift off into numbness.

When I wake up again I see on the coffee table, there is a glass with light pink liquid and a pill, besides them are notes that say "eat this" and "drink this". Is this some "Alice in Wonderland" type of s**t? Don't get me wrong it's a good book but not very instructive on how you should react and handle a real-life type of situation. I ignore the notes and go to the bathroom, checking the shelves below the sink I find mini sizes of shower gel and shampoo and conditioner, and also wax stuff. So someone out there wants me to take care of myself but is not stupid enough to let me have a razor. Everything is for one use, or maybe I'm going to be here for one day and that's all that I need. I take off my clothes and place them in the sink. I stand in the bathtub taking the showerhead to wash, I wash my hair that is shoulder length, and when I start to get out of the tub I see my clothes are gone. Fear sets in my bones, someone was here, very near me, how did I not hear them or see them. I take the towel and wrap myself, going out of the bathroom I see a black set of undergarments, black pants, and a black t-shirt. So these are probably new prison clothes since I hate orange it's okay. I put them on and see that the pill and drink are gone. I go running to the locked door, if somebody took glass and pill he had to walk in here through the door. I try to push the door but nothing happens. I walk around the small room and screens light up showing above me the dark sky and a few stars lost in that black abyss. Must be midnight. The courtyard around me is still empty, box houses are still there. I put my hand up to the screen or the window of freedom and it shuts down. I think to myself that this is some kind of holding cell and that there is no reason for me to panic. But knowing somebody can get in scares me, and there is a small hope that if somebody can get in I can get out. But how?After a second everything lights up on the screens, and It's not the courtyard or the sky it's everything I was running from. This is all I put behind me, that we put behind us, we moved on but its catching up on me. Scenes overflowing my mind and heart, I stare at the screen unable to move or to shut my eyes as I hear those words once again.

flashback

I was five years old, it was late at night and I wanted to get some water. I was climbing down the steps careful not to be heard or to wake anybody in the house. when I step to the kitchen door I can hear them. Mother and father were yelling. My mom's voice breaking

"Are you insane? We are a family! Where are you going, what is more, important than Mark and Delta?"

"She is, I need to be with her." my father said sounding annoyed and angry.

" We are at war and you are going to that b***h?!" my mother said and then I heard something crashing to the wall. I move closer to the door to see what was that noise, and there stood my father in his full glory, holding my mother by the neck on the wall.

My eyes start to water up and a small whimper leaves my lips, and then he turns around.

End of flashback.

I stand still, shocked and hurt all over again watching my mother and father argue. The little five-year-old girl in me is begging me to shut my eyes and let her cry until she passes out. I go to the bathroom, to hide from my past and to wash my face of memories that are creeping back up. It's no use the screens in the bathroom are replaying that scene. Over and over again I watch from the begging to the end of the altercation and my heart feels just as heavy as that day. I haven't seen my father in years, my mother divorced him shortly after the divorce. It was an ugly divorce, Mark and I were dragged every other day for three months to the courthouse. My father wanted to take us just in spit to our mother. Court-ordered shared custody but my mom was the main parent who set the rules. We were supposed to see our father every other weekend and that did happen for about a year, after that it stopped he remarried and we never saw him again. I knew he was alive because checks for child support came every month, after a few years he contacted us and told us we have two half brothers. Mark and I met them, we couldn't bond since one was 10 years younger than me and the other one 8 years younger than me. Since my only memory of my father was that one in the kitchen with my mother I didn't miss him, there was nothing to miss about him. My father figure was Mark and he stepped up for all of us, he was there for me, but I knew he was having a hard time. Mark knew how it was to have a father and they shared that bond of the father and his firstborn son. So Mark was somewhat broken to not have a father in his life. My mom on the other hand grew so much in my eyes through the years, she turned her back to comfort and chose her pride and her kids over the money, big house, and support of the partner. Shitty partner but still a partner. She never dated or got married again, she was content with herself and she pour all of her heart and effort into me and Mark to become good people. I close my eyes just so that I cannot see that scene anymore because it was sounding me and suffocating me at the same time. It was hard to deal with something so personal, I never talked about it, but everybody knew my family drama since my father was some kind of hotshot general in the army. I used to kick myself when I was younger with questions like "' Does he regret shattering my mother's heart, having an affair that ended just as my mother kicked him out of the house? Does he know how he scarred Mark for life so that he cannot form a genuine relationship without cheating on the woman? Does he know that he wrecked all of us and that he broke all the faith in genuine people around us? I resent him so much, anger consumed me. At some point, sleep takes over but my dreams are full of past that I thought are locked and tucked away somewhere deep down.