Chapter 3
957 Words
"So .. I'll have a solo number for tonight. This song is for those who feel burdened and chased by their past. For those scars that haven't been healed, for those misplaced hatred you shed to your self."
I blinked and my lips parted spontaneously as he began to sing. I had a feeling that I already knew what he was going to sing. No .. it's not it. It's not that, please, it's not the song he composed with me ..
My heart was beating faster and faster. I kept begging that this wasn't the song that he wrote for me. But I couldn't paint how blown I was when he started and I realized .. that's really it. I wasn't wrong at all.
“Broken all the pieces I’ve been shaping lately
Focused on the things that didn't make no sense。Guess that growing up was never meant to be easy
Yeah, I got used to doing everything sideways 。Didn't really care about how anyone felt
Hiding my emotions down in different ashtrays
Oh, but what is lost ain't gone
No, you can't just let go
'Cause it's a part of you that will make you strong
Embrace your flaws "
Beautiful scars. It was the title that he came up for the song that we made together back then. For five years I never heard it again, I left everything that reminded me of him. I forgot everything we did together. And I didn’t expect this to be the effect of the thing I was trying to run from. It used to comfort me but, God .. why does it sounds so painful now?
“I’m not gonna fight back what I’ve become
Yeah, I got bruises where I came from 。But I wouldn't change if I could restart I ain't gonna hide these beautiful scars I've been going way too hard on myself
Guess that it's the reason I've been feeling like hell。But I wouldn't change if I could restart I ain't gonna hide these beautiful scars "
My hands trembled spontaneously and I felt a strange weakness in my knees. I clung to Le's hand so she was quickly worried.
"Sadie .." she called but I was too clouded with lots of thoughts rushing through my head. I just stared at him while my breathing was heavy. Secretly accompanying in my mind the song only the two of us know.
Why am I acting like this? Is it right for me to come here? But I have already prepared for it! I have spent the last five years convincing myslef that that's enough, done, no more. So why am I like this now?
“I went down a road that only got me nowhere
I've seen every corner, every inch of this place
Being all alone it really got me thinking, maybe overthinking
That what is lost ain't gone
No, you can't just let go
'Cause it's a part of you that will make you strong
Embrace your flaws "
I watched every movement of his lips, every strum of his fingers on the guitar and the slight turning of his head every time he looked at people.
Deafening. A variety of noises enter my ears, but the only thing that is clear is the fast and strong beating of my heart. It was simmering and seemed to want to slip out of my chest. Why? Why .. is his effect on me still here?
My grip on Lea's hand tightened as tears rolled down my cheeks I didn't know why. I was no longer aware that I've been holding my breath. I quickly let go of the air that had accumulated in my chest and I immediately overcame it as Luke's gaze dropped to our side and his eyes gradually approached our seat.
“I’m not gonna fight back what I’ve become
Yeah, I've got bruises where I came from
But I wouldn't change if I could restart
I ain't gonna hide these beautiful scars
I've been going way too hard on myself
Guess that it's the reason I've been feeling like hell
But I wouldn't change if I could restart
I ain't gonna hide these beautiful
Hide these beautiful scars "
"s**t! SHE'S GOING TO LOOK HERE!"
"OH MY GOD! LUKE! HERE, LUKE!"
When his eyes reached our spot and passed, he quickly stopped strumming and singing. I was surprised when he immediately looked back at us. To me. Our eyes have met and locked and even the people were confused with the interruption of the song as it ended.
"He's looking at you .." Lea whispered in my ears while squeezing my hand.
I stayed still and stared back at him. His forehead furrowed as he looked at me, in the sea of people, it was amazing that he found me. I can't figure how I feel. My eyesight is blurred because of my tears, I keep them from dripping and my heart is beating faster and faster.
My knees were shaking with nervousness. I feel like his stares are melting me. He was startled when people started making noise and then he blinked and averted his eyes.
I watched him being suddenly anxious as he put the handle back on the guitar and wondered where he was in the song.
Can I really face him?
Am I done with him?
Have I really forgotten him?
Did I .. really moved on from him already?
I heard him faked a laugh before realizing where he was in the song. "Hide these beautiful scars, hmm .."
I gasped for breath when I finally realized the answer to my questions.
No . . .
- Writer
