Choices

Unease

I spent the next few days thing about Jay and if he was okay, I told him I need some time to think. In reality I need some time to fall into my other man’s bed. Devin could definitely tell something was wrong with me, but I kept insisting I was fine.

“You know I’m here for you right? You can talk to me about anything.” He said with a concerned look on his face. “I love you.” She said as he ran his fingers threw my hair. Before I even thought about it the words had already escaped “I love you too.” It felt so naturally like I have been saying it for sixty years, even though I felt it I instantly regretted it. My only thought was what about Jay? “Hey I’m gonna go home for a few days, but I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay, you’re sure your not mad at me right?”

“Yes I’m sure, I love you.” I gave him a quick kiss and left.

I called Jay and let him know I was coming home. I didn’t really stay there, I went straight to Jay’s. They say home is where your heart is, and well my heart was with him.

I drove in complete silence from down town to the outskirts of the city, think about the s**t storm I managed to get myself into. When I got to Jay’s I flopped down in the bed beside him and immediately went to sleep, he had that effect on me. I always felt so safe with him I would’ve never imagined what would happen next.