Severing Time & Space

Slip Through Her Fingers

The sun had gone down and the moon had come out. Hou Jingshu sat on her bed with her knees drawn to her chest, pondering her outburst earlier that day. She wondered why she had been so upset at Wu Jian for his actions and words. He was a nice person, and she considered him a friend, but it wasn’t like she loved him. This entire marriage was something her dad had arranged because he didn’t want her staying in the capital.

“Why should I care if he loves Wu Meiying more than me?” she muttered to herself. “It’s not like it matters to me.”

That’s right. Who cares who he loves? I’m only marrying him because Father is forcing me to. If not for that, there’s no way I would marry someone like him. I don’t want to marry him. I don’t want to marry anyone.

Yet even as she tried to convince herself, tears began stinging her eyes as pain pricked at her chest. It hurt. She tried to wipe them away. When that didn’t work, she buried her face between her legs and silently sniffled to herself.

If only I couldn’t feel anything. If only Wu Jian was just another noble trying to use me to get to my father, this would all be so much easier.

Ever since she made her debut in noble society years ago, many people had come up to her with flattering words about her beauty, her pedigree, and so on. All those people had malicious intent hidden behind their words. She might have been young, but Hou Jinshu had been taught by the best to discern someone’s intentions by observing their actions and mannerisms.

That was also how she knew that Wu Jian had no malicious or evil intentions toward her. He was nice to her because he was a good person and considered her a friend.

Everything would be so much easier if he was a horrible person.

Having grown up in the imperial court where backstabbing and politics were the main source of a noble’s sustenance, Hou Jingshu never had anyone with whom she could call a friend. That might explain why she felt so drawn to Wu Jian and (Wu Meiying to a lesser extent). He was someone she didn’t have to worry about taking advantage of her, someone she could let her guard down around.

Of course, it was because she had let her guard down so much that she found herself in this situation.

I should have been more careful. The maids told me that I should protect my heart zealously. I thought I had been doing just that, but it seems I didn’t listen. Now look at my predicament. I’m crying over a boy.

As she was lamenting what happened between her and Wu Jian, something hit her window. She jumped. She nearly shrieked, but she managed to just barely keep her scream contained, wandered over to the window, and opened it just a c***k. Standing on the other side was a grinning Wu Meiying.

“Good evening, Jingshu. You weren’t at lunch or dinner today.”

Hou Jingshu looked away. “I wasn’t hungry.”

As if to dispute that, her stomach gurgled. The loud sound caused Wu Meiying to look down and Hou Jingshu to feel heat burn the tips of her ears.

“S-so maybe I’m a little hungry,” she admitted.

How long had it been since she’d eaten? She skipped lunch and dinner, so it must have been most of the day. Strange how she hadn’t realized how hungry she was until this moment.

She wondered if she could blame this on Wu Jian, but she wasn’t that cruel. It was her own fault for not eating.

Smiling, Wu Meiying said, “Yeah, I figured you were. Anyway, come on.”

“Come… on? Are we going somewhere?” asked Hou Jingshu.

“First, we’re going to sneak into—ahem, I mean, we’re going to visit the kitchens.”

“I feel like you almost said something very dangerous there.”

“After that, we’re going to spend the night with Jian.”

“!!!”

Hou Jingshu froze after Wu Meiying revealed her plan. The other girl looked at her curiously, as if wondering why she wasn’t climbing out the window to follow her.

“I… don’t want to see him,” she said at last, turning her head.

“I see. Well, that’s too bad.” Wu Meiying shrugged as if it didn’t matter. “In that case, you can stay here while I spend the night with him. Alone.”

Hou Jingshu’s eyes widened as Wu Meiying turned around. Her heart pounded in her chest as she watched the other girl begin to walk away.

What… is this feeling?

For just a moment, everything seemed to move in slow motion. It felt like her best chance to fix things with Wu Jian was about to slip through her fingers. She had the irrepressible sense that if she didn’t do something right now, she would end up regretting this moment for the rest of her life.