When I Look At You

Evening Star: The Star in Wang Yibo's World

"Here try this." Xiao Zhan is currently putting a slice of beef from the hot pot which was dipped earlier on a sesame oil on my plate. "Try a little amount first."

We're at Ma Qin Hot Pot restaurant, a famous hot pot restaurant from around here. Xiao Zhan said earlier that this restaurant serves traditional large pot but can offer smaller pot also. He chose the smaller pot because acocording to him its just to let me experience the taste of Chonqing.

"So how was it?" He asked with anticipation while observing my facial reaction.

"Water! I need more water!" And right now he's slowly training my taste buds to these spicy dishes which is where Chonqing is known for.

"Stop it, teacher Wang. You'll end up full not with food but with water." He moved the glass of water away from me. I tried reaching it but to no avail. "How is it that you still don't want these foods?"

"They're spicy?." I replied with a matter of factly tone. "I'm really not a fan of foods burning my tongue and throat." I said while fanning my tongue with my hands to reduce the burning sensation in it. "It's like eating fire. Not appetizing."

"Obviously. I ordered less moderate spiced dishes for you but you still can't eat them. How unfortunate." There's something in his voice that made me guilty for some reason. Is that regret in disappointment?.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" He shouted because I began shoving foods in my mouth despite the strong taste of spice invading my tongue.

As much as I don't like spicy foods the look of disappointment written in Xiao Zhan's face is more bothersome. I can feel sweat trickling down my forehead and the numbing of my tongue but I don't care anymore until the last drop of that spicy stew is gone. I ate all the food he gave me earlier.

"Here. Have some juice." I gripped his hand holding a glass of orange juice as I drank from it. "Slowly or else you'll pour juice on yourself. You don't like to be sticky and wet when walking around." he said with amusement. I let go of his hand once i'm done with the juice.

"BUUURRRPP!" A loud laughter came after I burp. I smiled awkwardly while looking around making sure nobody is secretly laughing and recording the incident. That would be too embarassing.

"Who knew that the great Wang Yibo can burp like a cow." I glared at him while still laughing at his heart content. "Ok! Ok! Sorry. How come you never loose your elegance even when burping?."

"Where are we going next? You're done eating, right?" Ignoring his remarks I look at our table with empty plates and half empty jug of juice I can really say that we're done with our little feast.

"We'll rest for a while. You need it more looking at your swollen lips and red cheeks." He giggled like a kid pointing at my face. "Atleast remove your hat and glasses to reduce your sweating."

"It's not convinient to sit here with empty plates." I rolled my eyes inside the restaurant and noticed that there were people waiting for a table vacancy. "People are waiting to eat."

"I know." He stood and gestured for me to follow him. "Let's just sit outside. There is a bench beside the lake."

I breathed in the fresh air after we left the restaurant. I feel relieved with its help. I look around and realized this place is beautiful and at the same time refreshing. The best spot to relax after eating hotpot.

I looked at Xiao Zhan now sitting on the wooden bench. With his relaxed state, peace can be traced to him. As if he didn't care about those around him while enjoying the silence provided by the place where the two of us were. I just kept watching him while thinking that my decision to follow him here was the right one. I am happy that I followed what my heart dictated this time.

I also sat on the bench and immitated Xiao Zhan's position while sitting. Arms crossed on my chest and eyes closed, I felt cool breeze gently brushing across my face. The chirping and fluttering wings of birds hopping from branches to branches together with the sound of leaves being blown by the wind seemed like an invitation for me to finally fall asleep.

"Yibo, are you awake?"

I heard a beautiful voice calling may name. I thought it was just a dream but I was shaken by a weak but steady tapping on my shoulder.

I just grunted without opening my eyes to let him know I was awake. But I was compelled to open them when I heard no one speak.

"Hey, what's the problem?" I asked even though I was drowsy and still in a trance.

"I'm just thinking." Xiao Zhan shifted.

"What is it?." I adjusted myself to focus on whatever he had to say.

"Teacher Wang, I can't believe you let me drag you anywhere I like." He said full of astonishment

"Should that be surprising?". I asked in confusion.

"It is." Moreover he stared me straight in the eye. "Because according to most of people who know you said you are not approachable."

"So?" Maybe i'm aloof and unfriendly but that's only for the people i'm not familiar with. Xiao Zhan is a little different. I feel comfortable with his presence.

"Nothing. I'm just glad you allowed me to get close to you. Its a priviledge." He said laughing. "Can I hold your hand?" A request I cannot refuse.

I extended my hand for him to hold. "Why are you always asking to shake or hold my hand?" I'm really confused as to why he likes to shake hands everytime he has a chance.

He reach for it and joined it with his own. "I just like the warmth and softness of your hands contrasting your cold personality."

I smile but frowned after. "Are you like this to everyone you're meeting?. I voiced out the thing that's been bothering me until a moment ago. Thinking he's been going around shaking hands to every people he met brought a feeling of protest.

"No though there's someone who once held my hand but I let go." Sadness flickered in his eyes for amoment before it disappeared just like almost an imagination. "But now you're here. If you would allow me to hold your hand i'll keep holding on to it until you let go."

"Who is that someone?" i'm not comfortable with the idea of Xiao Zhan with someone else. I get it that i'm not entitled to such strange feeling but I still did feel jealousy.

"Someone from long time ago." Avoiding my eyes he let go and stood. "C'mon, its already half past three but we still have a lot to explore."

I let it go this time but I will still ask who is that someone next time. My curiousity got aroused with the identity of that person who Xiao Zhan held.

I stretched my body to get rid of the remaining stiffness caused by sitting for a long time. We must have taken our time resting and enjoying the peace that time passed by quickly without anyone of us noticing it.

"Where are we going this time?" We are walking side by side exiting the resto's compound. "Are we taking a cab?"

"Why? Are you tired?" He came closer and stood beside me and now we're standing on the road side. "I originally wanted for us to just walk but if you're not into it, then we'll just have to let a cab take us to the train station." He sounded so understanding. His consideration brought warmth in my heart.

"I'm good." Maybe if we walk together we can talk more and will know more about each other. "Well, walking will help burn excess carbs, so let's take a walk then."

His hesitation made me wonder if he's actually understamating my walking capability. "Are you sure? You ate too much earlier."

"That's 2 hours ago and I had rested enough." My stomach is still uncomfortable due to the spicy foods but its managable so i'm good with walking beside Xiao Zhan. His obvious worry about my situation is enough to bring tingling sensations inside me.

Along the way we talked about random things. Well, Xiao Zhan did the talking all throughout but I didn't find it irritating. I didn't feel even the slightest disapproval on him being talkative. It's even strange that I, a person who hated noise, tolerated the nonstop blaberrings and even find Xio Zhan's voice soothing and calming enough to tame my troubled mind.

Weird but I like the feeling it brought to my whole system.

"Teacher Wang, how's the audition for Idol China?" I wonder how he's maintaining his sincere smiles and free spirit personality. Right now his smile never faltered and remain bright just like the first time I saw him.

"You mean, PRODUCE 101?" A program aiming to select the best from the idol wannabies through battle of talents and coming out to the top as champion with the help of mentors. And i'm a mentor and an exhibitionist in this program.

"Yeah. How was the contestants?." Xiao Zhan is curious.

"Good. Why? Are you planning to audition?." It was meant as a joke.

Chuckling at my silly remark. "No. Someone I know joined that program but i'm not telling you who it is."

"Ok." I have no plan in knowing, too. "By the way, what's with teacher Wang?" this has been bugging me eversince I heard him call me 'Teacher Wang'.

"Well, I thought you're the best so I will call you teacher. Maybe one of these days you'd show me some of your dance steps." He's grinning from ear to ear while walking backwards just to talk to me.

"Ok." What else should I say? Maybe i'll clear some from my schedule and will fit dance lesson with Xiao Zhan.

We came to a train station after an approximately 20 minutes of walking. I can't feel any exhaustion from that walk instead I feel refreshed and renewed.

"I used to ride the train here. Do you know this used to be an ancient house for the Leader in this city? But as time passed by, the house was abandoned the government decided to make it more memorable by converting it as this train station we're using now." Xiao Zhan acted like a tour guide and narrated something about this place which never registered to me. My full attention was directed to his very animated facial expression and hand gestures while telling a story about this place.

"Would you want to join me now, teacher Wang?."

Just as I nodded Xiao Zhan immediately drag me inside. "Don't worry, I have two train tickets."

Is he planning to take me with him from the very first time? Or he's originally with someone and he got stood up?

"Originally, I would go with my assistant." He must've understood what I meant when I looked at him. And I was right with my second assumption that he's supposed to be with someone.

I nodded to convey that I understood what he's implying. Isn't great? The timing of everything is just so fated as in destined to be. I got here expecting for a wild goose chase and go home with nothing but who would have thought that Xiao Zhan and I would find each other.

God and luck is on my side.

"There's this time when the train was full and I was pushed to the side near the window that's when I saw the full view of Jialing River up where I stood." he is talking continously as the train took its course. Telling stories from his experiences. We're both seated near the door.

"Do you have fear of heights?" I shook my head to let him know i'm not. "Good. Because this train is elevated. Look! There's the Jialing River."

We both moved and leaned over the window and admired Jialing one of the major rivers here in Chongqing. We got clear full aerial view of it.

"I have good and bad memories in that river but I cannot ignore the nostalgia everytime i'll go there." Xiao Zhan said in melancholy. I feel bad for him. "But I'm sure you'll like it there."

"Where there?" I don't have clue to where the 'there' he's talking about.

"Not telling. Anyways we're almost there."

True to his word the train came to a stop after five minutes. Xiao Zhan went with the flow of people exiting the train. Once he realized i'm still inside he started waving his hands non-stop.

Childish but I know he's telling me to step out already. I chose to get down from the train when only few people were left. I don't like being sandwiched between crowd of people.

He hurriedly walk towards me as soon as i'm out. "Do you still abhore crowded places? Nevermind. C'mon let's take it from here."

Gift shops, merchant stalls, food carts, crowded street, noisy people and rows of boats appeared as we continued walking. I moved closer to Xiao Zhan afraid to bump into someone due to the pack of people leisurely walking just like us.

"Where are we?". It seems like we were in a middle of a fair basing on the number of displays and people visiting them.

"Presenting Jialing Pier a tourist spot but more like picnic grounds for both locals and visitors." He is both enthusiastic and eager while saying this. "C'mon let's rest before exploring anyway its still 15 minutes past 4."

Following him must be my new hobby because I found myself seated inside a snack house with yet another hot and spicy snack being fed to me.

"How are we eating yet again after that sumptous meal we had just a few hours ago." that was a big meal we had and I can't still get over that spiciness.

He looked at me before giggling like a child. "I'm hungry just smelling these delicious aroma besides that was over lunch. Right now we're having a snack and that is a different thing." He ate happily savouring everything.

He can eat that's for sure while here I am playing with just a stick of barbecue. I should've refused but that smile never let me do so.

"You're not eating that?" Extending my hand holding the food he's asking he quickly snatch it together with the uneaten dish from my plate and devour it. "You're loosing half of your life not enjoying these."

"I can eat but not spicy." I retorted earning me a smirk from that teasing bunny. Well, I find it cute that he has bunny teeth so I decided to call him that.

"What are you eating then? Still the bland food?"

"Everything." True I can eat but my body just doesn't want spice too much. "I can eat anything without the hot and spicy."

"Yeah! Yeah! Let's go, Teacher Wang." He stood up after finishing the last drop of his iced tea.

"You're like a thousand times foodie but why are still like that?" I said motioning his entirety.

"I love eating. But as much as I eat is the extreme exercise i'm doing whenever I have a project." this time he turned his face towards me.

"This time I can eat whenever and whatever I want because i'm just doing promotional but when all this is over? I cannot eat no more than a bun and lots and lots of water to loose weight inorder to match a character i'm portraying." There's a glimpse of sadness in his eyes.

That's why he's thinner the last time I saw him during his birthday. I can't help but feel sorry for him. "You're hardworking, tall and charming enough to fit in any character. Why are you forcing yourself into those unhealthy habbits?"

I am into sports and hobbies that can make me sweat a lot that I don't need extreme diets to be in character. I feel sorry for him.

He sighed. "I shouldn't be telling you about my personal problems. You're too stable and famous in the industry to get you involved."

I can feel how heavy his burden is. I cannot blame him because this friendship is still fresh to be trusting each other already. "I'm here if you needed me. Please don't hesitate."

He just nodded. "Here we are. We'll just ride one of those."

Xiao Zhan left me to negotiate with the boatman and just like the other instances he never ask for money to help pay the bill.

We rode the boat and was about to asked about not paying for anything but was distracted by the happy Xiao Zhan. He's busy dipping his hands in the water while a smile was plastered on his lips. I was drawn once again by his childlike happiness on simple things.

He leaped out of the boat as soon as it reached the shore. He spread his arms and ran around not minding the gazes from the few people in this island.

"What are we doing here, by the way? This area has lesser tourists." I thought he's not paying attention due to his little display of excitement but he stop running. He walked closer to where i'm standing this time with his phone.

"We're gonna wait for the sunset here. If you want let's take pictures first. The scenery here is outstanding." He suggested in the middle of taking pictures. "You can post it if you want."

"How about you?" I took my phone out but was shocked by the number of missed calls all from Yuno. I ignored it and took pictures. I also took a picture of Xiao Zhan's silhouette.

"Maybe when I feel like it. Its nearly sunset. Let's sit here."

I sat on a rock and he chose the sand to sit on. We enjoyed the serenity of the sunset with silence. Cool breeze blew, sound of waves echoed and the sound of our breathing made the whole scene more relaxing.

"Thank you for being with me today, Wang Yibo. I appreciate it a lot." He said out of the blue while looking at the beautiful horizon.

"No problem." He's the reason i'm here anyway.

"Look the stars are early tonight. Let's stargaze for a moment more before going back." He stood from where he was sitting and silently gazed at the starry sky.

Like Xiao Zhan, me too gazed at the only star I want to see forever.

'Xiao Zhan . . . '