Addiction

Apologies

Dying to know.

Afraid to find

Out.

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He leads me inside of the pack house. I don't have the luxury to admire the surroundings as we soon enter the study. He closes the door, cutting us off from the outside world and its disturbances.

Without him telling me too, I take a seat in a lounge chair placed directly in front of his desk. He then pours himself a glass of scotch before following along, perching himself before me.

It's like a silent war we have. Our weapons are our eyes; we both try to evaluate the other sides weaknesses and strengths determining who is the dominant one between us. I don't submit. I know for a fact that I am way more powerful than him. And just like I thought, he looks away first.

"Speak." I dislike the awkward silence that fills the study.

"Quite bold of you to say that to an alpha." His deep voice is like a clap of thunder. Booming and clearly audible.

"Well, I'm your mate, so it doesn't matter, now does it. So speak and stop cutting around the bush." Just because we're mates, doesn't mean we automatically have a mutual understanding. It's more so lust at first sight than love. The whole purpose of it was more or less for wolves to reproduce. Feelings are actually cultivated over time.

"Before you get attached to me. I just thought you should know that....I have a fiancé." His voice sounds calm but I can see the turbulence swimming in his eyes.

He tries to hide it but his actions are useless under my discerning gaze. I can see his muscles involuntarily tensing under my hard stare, the popping of veins becoming visible from his clenched fists. I didn't know my gaze could be so unnerving?

"Oh. So what are you going to do about it?"

"Naturally the plan is to call off the engagement but it's going to cause an uproar within my pack. My reputation as their leader is at stake." He calmly says. His concerns are understandable....but, I just don't see why I should be troubled by this.

"Yeah, I don't give a damn about your male pride. You created this mess and you will be the one to clean it up. As your mate I will offer my support from the sidelines, but that's as far as I go with interference. To be honest, I don't even think I should be doing any of this, In my opinion it's too much! Ah whatever, it's not like it's my problem." I shouldn't have said that. Gah! Stupid anger, I really need to calm down.

"I get why you're feeling that way but seeing as you are my mate, shouldn't you be a bit more concerned?" He inquires. Yes, I should be, but I'm not. Never was one to follow the rules.

"If I had reacted the way a normal wolf would the moment they found out that their mate, who they waited their whole life on couldn't control his urges, and got himself another she-wolf. This entire office would already be destroyed. Despite your thoughts, I think I'm processing this quite fine, in fact."

"I do not appreciate that sarcasm in your voice and I suggest you tone it down." His voice is laced with a trace if anger. I ignore it.

"Well I do not appreciate you having a fiancé, when I waited! I stayed loyal to someone I've never met a day in my life! And for what!? To find out that he didn't give a damn! It's not fair, isn't it."

"You have no right to judge me when you barely know anything about the situation."

"Well explain it to me then. Because apparently, I know nothing."

"I didn't say that!" He raises from his chair, slamming his hands on the desk  growling at me. I reply to him with the same energy, jumping up with my lips rolled back, as I show my sharp, pearly white canines, growling back at him.

"You insinuated it and that's all that matters."

"You go girl! Show him who's boss!"

"On the inside Tsilla I'm a bit sad. I can't believe he didn't wait."

"I know baby. Take it as a learning experience. You can use it against him in the future."

"True. Did the shadows come back with any news."

"Yes, apparently the fiancé is a wolf named Lana. Her father is the Alpha of a neighboring pack called Blue Blood. They've had close ties with your mates pack for generations, and they thought it would be a good idea to engage the two since they've been childhood sweethearts, and both hadn't found their mates yet."

"Bullshit. It's just an excuse to explain their greed for power. Pathetic. Did they think that they could go against the moons' will and get away with it. That's rich."

After the short conversation with Tsilla I tune back into my mates voice and interrupt him.

"Sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't listening." His left brow twitches in annoyance as he inhales a deep breath.

"I said my fiancé has been someone I knew from childhood and the engagement wasn't something I had an opinion on, it was my fiancé, her parents and mine."

"Go on."

"The engagement was made years ago, I was young at the time. 17 to be exact. Right after the engagement was finalized my parents died from an assassination, hired by an enemy pack. To honor them, I decided to go through with the plan, since it was something they wanted."

"Did you ever stop, to think about how your mate would feel?"

"If I'm being honest...I never thought I would find my mate."

"You gave up before you even started." I spit at him. This i***t! To dowse the budding flames inside of me, I down his glass of scotch. Smirking at the hand left dawdling in the air that was about to reach for it.

"Why are you not married yet, then?"

"I had a 20 year mourning period." Wow, my mates' a young one. Does that make me a pedophile, ah!

"I expect the marriage contract to be terminated by tomorrow. No more, no less."

"Wait-you're still willing to be with me?" His green eyes widen in shock, and I can't help but think how cute he looks at the moment. I'm still angry, though.

"Yes. You are my mate after all. Though, not perfect, I'll have to make do." I feel emotionally drained. All I wanted was a faithful mate, and I can't even make that happen.

At the same time the wounds on my arm from yesterday start to beat in pain. I look at them, something flashing in my eyes, but before my mate can catch it, the thing is already gone.

"Take me to your room. I need to bathe."

"I first need to know, why you're covered in blood?"

I give him a dark, incomprehensible smile.

"Trackers....."

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