Addiction

Darkness

So I Love You; Because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.

It's been one hundred years since the day I got my wolf. A lot has changed. The mental battle scars that I had during my stay at that ruthless pack has improved me physically, but is challenging me mentally.

I have thoughts, about myself. Thoughts that someone shouldn't think. Tsila keeps telling me I'm strong but I don't feel that way. I feel powerless, replaceable. Worthless.

It's gotten to the point where I've found release, through dangerous methods. Like cutting.

I can't help it. It's as though I'm addicted. Everytime afterwards I just feel so much lighter than I was before. It makes me feel like I can be normal. But when I'm faced with the judgmental stares from strangers, it makes me feel self-conscious. Which is why I decided to get a tattoo on my left arm.

The design has branches connecting the scars, and tiny roses decorating it. I chose to have it done using black ink. No color. Just like the night sky. In the ink I added wolfs bane and silver, for two reasons. One, to make sure that it won't fade early, and two because of the pain it brought along with it.

The sensation mirrors the pain I felt whenever I was whipped in my old pack. I- for some reason, I just need to constantly have that feeling with me. It keeps my mind grounded.

Anyways, back to the training part. When Tsilla first started training me, she made me run 10 miles every day, and after that various other techniques that required a bountiful amount of energy and perseverance.

My wolf form is also really pretty. I found that out one night, when I went for a run, and saw my reflection in the clear lake water. It turns out that I have jet black fur, with ruby red eyes. Constellations cover my back in the form of white dots, because I'm a huntress of the moon. Its like a permanent insignia. And also, for some reason, the tattoo on my arm appears in the middle of my forehead when-ever I shift. I don't know the reason why. But it makes me look badass, so I don't mind.

Life, for me now has become more free than I ever thought it would be. The problem though, is that I don't like to be around people. I prefer to live in the shadows, the darkness keeping me company. There is also the fact that Tsilla had taught me how to control, and interact with the black transparent creatures.

I find them more comfortable to be around, than when I'm in the vicinity of other wolves. It's nerve wrecking, and makes my hair stand on edge.

Sometimes I get too caught up in the shadows, and accidentally wander into foreign packs territories at night. There were only 3 close calls. I was an amateur then, and I almost got caught. Because of this, packs from all over have given me the nickname lone wolf.

They seem to hate me for some reason. It's because they don't understand, and what they don't know, naturally, they fear, going in to destroy. I am always on the run from hired assassins. Because of this I had to kill.

Many wolves have met their ends from my hands, it was either kill or be killed. I have no feelings of guilt from this, only sympathy. Due to their reckless behavior, their families now have to suffer the consequences of their actions. And I feel empathy for the innocent.

The wolves who hunt me are caught blind sided when I attack. You see, I appear to them in my human form. My dark curly hair falls just under breasts, the hardcore training I undertake has toned my body making it muscular and toned. My caramel skin, is smooth and simple, no blemishes in sight, and to top of the look I attire myself in shadow clothing.

They consist of tight black leather pants, with an off the shoulder black crop top, and red combat boots. The only piece of clothing that has color. I also wear a midnight colored cloak to hide my Face. Leather gloves are worn on my hands to protect me from damaging them when I fight.



(its something like this)

To hone my skills Tsilla insisted on me enlisting as a hitman. It helped me to gain control over the shadows, using them to help me locate my target; and in the process eliminating them also.

..........Back to Now...............

My arms move at a fast pace as I quickly finish off the last wolf. He aimed for my left arm and it gave me an opening for his neck, giving him a quick cut to the throat. The sound of bone breaking clearly resonates throughout the dark forest.

I clap my hands to get rid of the dust coating it, but I can't do the same for the rest of my body.

If you're wondering why I haven't gone rogue from being without a pack for some long, the answer is simple. It's because I'm always coming in contact with wolves, whether I want to or not.

I sniff the air and realize that I had unknowingly wandered into a packs territory. Every cell in my body tells me that I should turn back, but there's this tantalizing scent that I can't help but take extra whiffs of.

My feet start to unconsciously venture deeper into the pack ground, speeding up to get to the source of the unique smell. The praesido's are left unaware of my presence though, as I can hide my scent. Leaving me undetected.

When I finally reach a clearing in the area; It's packed with werewolves in human form, and in the middle is an alpha standing on the stage before a podium. His striking green eyes collide with mine, and a shock, short circuits my mind.

Then, I growl out the one word that's circulating in my head.

"Mate!"

"Mate!"

________________________

Praesido- guard in latin