Addiction

Chapter 2: Free at last

Fear

Is just wisdom 

in the face of danger

There is nothing 

to be ashamed of.

-Sherlock Holmes

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I keep on whipping him, my eyes becoming more feral. I can feel my wolf-side for the first time ever. I never thought this was how I'd get her, but I am grateful nonetheless.

The alpha's beta and gamma burst into the room, flabbergasted at the scene before them. They growl at me, shifting into their wolf forms, the killing intent becoming more prominent in the small room.

I agilely dodge their attacks, hitting the two bastards with the whip in the process. They whine in pain calling for back up, but I'm out of control. I easily rip out their throats, leaving them to bleed to death.           Nothing registers to me anymore, only the urge to kill and destroy. 

So that's what I do. 

Massacre the entire pack. It was small to begin with, only one hundred or so members in it. And luckily, I hated everyone, so I don't feel guilty about my murders, not that I'm in right the mind to realize what I am doing anyway, since I am practically borderline rogue.

My wolf took over my body in my moment of rage. Biting and snapping at all of her victims, shredding their bodies to pieces. Blood covers her snout and fur, the metallic scent fueling her animalistic urges. When she goes after the other pack members that's when I black out, completely depleted of energy. So my animal side is now in full control, as I drift off into a deep sleep.

....................

I awake to the blaring sun's fiery gaze on my face. I feel so tired, my muscles screaming in soreness as I force my body to get up.

I limp to the lake, my ghoulish reflection smiling back at me. Blood paints every inch of my body, scratches and bruises gladly soaking in the fresh air. To sum it up, I look a mess. My mop of black curls clump together on the top of my head. They stick up in all directions, and I cringe at the pain it will cause to clear them out.

Suddenly I remember, I-I have a wolf. I can't believe it! I go into my mind to see if I can sense her, to make sure that she's real. And she is still there. Why did it take her so long to come? Why did she let them do all those, things, to me? Why did she decide to come now, this wasn't the only time I needed her!

If I am being honest though, I probably won't like the answer to those questions so I don't bother her about it, sometimes the truth just makes things worse.

I take off the rags that are my clothes and sink into the clear blue water. It's freezing cold and my body tenses as it hits my skin. I close my eyes and force my hands to move, cleaning away all the dirt and grime sticking to my body. In that moment I begin to think again. I can't believe that I'm still alive! And I- I can't believe that I just killed my entire pack!

What am I suppose to do now!? Wolves weren't made for the lonely life. They need a pack, a family. They need to socialize or else...they snap. And the way I felt yesterday, or however long I was out... I know that I'm very close. Maybe I- no, that wouldn't work.

I cover my eyes in despair. I have nowhere to go, what am I suppose to do now. Salty tears roll down my face. In my moment of helplessness I feel my wolf stir out of her sleep. That's if she was truly sleeping.

"You don't have to worry, I'm here with you."

"You are. But for how long? How do I know that you're not going to leave me like everyone else did?" 

I am, afraid. I just started getting used to her, and I don't know what I'd do if she ever left. I've heard stories that said it's painful for the human side, because they're losing apart of their soul, they're best friend. And you'll never be the same after it.