​ELIS'S BORROWED LIFE

Chapter 7| An Unfamiliar Taste

The dimly lit hall has now become a place where people are jumping around and moving about.

The music that echoed throughout the hall, which Mother called a song, is now heard with a completely different intensity. I wonder if people are moving to that intensity. Why is that young man moving towards my direction with his hand outstretched? He’s saying something, isn't he? I should look the other way. I looked at the shiny gift boxes that the people in the hall had brought.

Are all these gifts for me? This is the first time in my life I've received this many gifts. All those boxes are covered in shiny paper. Mother won't even let me open one to see. I am dying to see what's inside. I remember the box Carol gave very well; that is the box I will open first.

Everyone in the hall came up to me and left. Everyone smiled and talked. But why didn't Carol smile at me? Maybe she is scared just like me. I can't even see her. Is she visible now? I looked towards the side where Carol's table was, through the moving people.

Oh dear, because these people are moving around, I can't even see that young lady. Even though I can't see the young lady, the table where Mother is sitting is clearly visible. Ever since she went to the table after cutting the cake, she’s just been there. She must have forgotten me; she still hasn't gotten up. She is chatting with the men over there. She told me not to get into much conversation with men. But she has been talking for a long time now.

Is Mother standing up? Oh, thank goodness, maybe she will come to me now. Why did a man standing near her take hold of Mother’s hand? Mother taught me how a girl should be; has she forgotten those things herself? The man is bringing Mother over to where the people are moving. And Mother is holding his hand without any reluctance.

Huh, why are they both suddenly starting to sway? The man grabbed Mother by her waist, didn't he? Mother has also put both her arms around the man’s neck. What are they doing? They are both swaying to the music playing with a strange intensity, right? Yes, yes, that sound is just like wind. Just like how the wind changes direction, it’s like the sound is changing the way people move. Music is amazing, isn't it? That sound hasn’t been able to make me sway yet.

But I feel like the way my heart is beating has changed. Oh, I can't stay here just watching. Mother is moving about with that man. I'm going to where Carol is. But how do I go through these people jumping here and there? Let's take a deep breath. Okay, okay, now you can do it. I got up from the chair.

Oh dear, these shoes are such a nuisance. I’m going to take them off; Mother won’t see. The hall is a bit dark, anyway. I took my shoes off. Oh, the cold! The cold coming from the tiled floor feels like it’s going all through my body. My feet feel such an amazing relief. I put the shoes to the side.

"Madam... please don't take off your shoes."

From where did this maid come running? Has she been watching me the whole time?

"Today is my birthday. Oh, I'm not a small child, am I? Let me be the way I want."

The maid looked down at the ground. Oh, was she scared by the way I spoke?

"Forgive me, Madam... I was told not to let you take off your shoes."

Ah, is that it... did Mother say that? I went up to the maid.

"It doesn’t matter if Mother said so. You just act like you didn't see anything. My feet are hurting so much because of these."

I cannot put these shoes back on. The maid stepped back a little. I think that trouble is over.

I looked at the moving people. Mother is still swaying back and forth with that man. The table where Carol was is still not visible. I need to go there. But why are those young men looking at me? I feel uncomfortable, oh, please look away when you are looking at me like that. I feel like I am stepping with difficulty to go towards where the people are moving. Yes, you can do this.

Why is that young man coming towards my direction? Oh, please don't come. Is he my age? There is no stubble on his face. But he is a bit attractive. He came up to me, moving in a pattern. He is reaching out a hand towards me, isn't he? What should I do? Mother told me not to let men touch me.

What just happened? Two male servants dressed in white pushed that young man, didn't they? I looked behind me. Oh, why are these maids and servants following me? Mother, I thought you let me be the way I wanted today. I looked at the maids and servants, narrowing my eyes. I wonder if that look was too fierce. Mother used to say that they get scared. The servants must have looked down at the ground out of fear. But since they are following me, men won't be able to even come near me. That is a good thing, though. But the people swaying here and there are looking at me strangely, perhaps because the servants are following me.

Oh, thank goodness. That is Carol sitting there, right? She is alone. I went to Carol. She isn't even looking at me. Is she scared of me?

"Are you okay?"

I just asked, and she looked at me with a strange face. My heart turned cold at that look.

"Are you scared because the servants are surrounding you? Like a little child."

When the words came out of her mouth, her mouth went to the side. The smile that came on her face was also strange. I'm not saying anything. She must see me like a child, too.

"I have no talk with children. Go away from here without bothering me."

Oh, why are you telling me that? I'm not a child. I'm 26 years old now. I have everything a young woman should have, why do you say that? I looked around. The servants are right behind me. Is Carol calling me a child because these servants are surrounding me?

"Oh, you guys go. I can be alone. I'm not a child."

The servants were scared of my voice. They started to go with their heads bowed. Oh, don't go! Even though I said I can be alone... if a young man comes and tries to hold my hand, who will save me? Oh, they are going!

I looked around before I sat down, taking two steps to the chair right next to where Carol was sitting. Men are looking at me strangely... the way they roll their eyes towards me amidst their crazy movements makes my whole body turn cold. Just as I sat on the chair, Carol got up from the chair.

"Oh, why, don't you want to talk to me?"

She looked at me. There isn't even a smile on that face. Can a human be this cruel? It makes me sad to watch her pull her mouth to the side and go away from the table. Ah, she stopped, didn't she? She is coming back. Maybe she felt like talking to me. I straightened my back and leaned on the chair. Oh, there is a smile on her face. I smiled too.

Carol sat down on the chair again while looking at me.

"Forgive me, for the way I talked to you."

Oh, you don't need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. If I could make her a friend of mine... I should collect friends too, just like Mother has.

"Oh, that's okay."

No matter how you talk, you are talking with a smile now, that is enough for me. What should I ask now? She is just looking at me. I don't even have anything to ask. Even though there are sounds in the hall, maybe everything is silent this moment until I speak. I rolled my eyes around. No, no. The crazy swaying is still the same. People are talking at tables, with a sound even louder than the music being played. I looked at Carol. It's like she is trapping me with her eyes. That look, with a slight smile, makes my whole body go cold. Please say something, don't just stare.

"Shall we drink something?"

Oh, thank goodness, she spoke. When she says drink, is it something like the milk Mother makes for me every day? Or is it orange juice? Oh, I don't know, Mother makes milk in the morning, and gives drinks in the evening, right? I focused my eyes on the table that was on the side. The glasses the people there had contained a yellow-colored drink. That must be what she asked, "shall we drink". I looked at Carol and smiled.

"Yes... I have drunk orange juice and milk. But I haven't drunk the colored things that people are drinking here."

The smile on Carol's face increased a little. Did I say something to laugh at?

"Come to us."

She called a servant who was taking yellow-colored drink glasses through the tables. Why is the servant who came to the table looking at my face strangely? He put one glass on the table and turned to go.

"I need another one. There are two people here, can't you see?"

I wonder if the servant was startled by Carol's voice. He looked at Carol, while also glancing at me once.

"Forgive me, if we give these to our little Madam, the Big Madam will scold us."

The servant looked at me. Oh, did Mother tell you not to give me drinks too? I pulled my mouth to the side and narrowed my eyes at the servant. The servant looked at the ground. Mother, what is this? Let me be the way I want today, at least. I have lived the way you said all this time. Besides, today you are the one who made me meet so many people. I want to do the things they do outside. I am a human being too, Mother.

"Oh, this... I drink the things I want. You give one more drink glass."

I wonder if my voice became fierce; the servant was startled by how I spoke.

"Madam... that... but... this..."

Just as he said that, Carol snatched all three drink glasses from the servant.

"Now go from here."

Carol seems too cruel. Even the male servant who had a strong, attractive body walked past us looking at the ground as if nothing happened, because of Carol's words.

I looked at Carol. She doesn't seem afraid of men at all. There is still a slight smile on her face. She indicated the four drink glasses to me with her eyes and took a glass into her hand.

Mother hasn't given me drinks like this; I don't know if the drink is not good. But since even Carol is drinking, there is no harm in me drinking, right? I don't know if the servant will tell Mother. But why would Mother scold if I drank these? The servant must be crazy or something. I took a drink glass into my hand.

"That is a bit of a strange drink, drink it without thinking too much."

Why is Carol saying that? I don't know if it's not like orange taste. I have to drink and see. I gave a smile to Carol.

When bringing the glass close to my mouth, it's strange; is this a smell or a stench? Oh, I don't know. I drank a little bit of the drink.

Oh, what is this? It's like my mouth was set on fire. My chest is burning too. My heart is beating like it's going to come out; I don't know if it's actually burning inside my body. Something is coming up my throat. I pressed my mouth shut. It filled up my whole mouth. Oh, I can't hold this inside my mouth anymore. I looked at Carol.

There is still a slight smile on her face. If I spit out what is filling my mouth, will Carol laugh at me? She is drinking the drink without any concern. Why on earth did Mother bring a drink like this to the party? But the others are drinking without any concern. What happened to me?

It feels like a warmth is going down my spine to both my legs. No, no, I can't anymore. Where should I put what is in my mouth? It would be right if I went to my room, but until then how can I hold what's in my mouth? I looked at Carol. Oh, what should I do? Carol, now let me tell you too! But I have no way to tell except to watch. Carol is still drinking the drink while smiling. Oh, how does she drink that?

"Did it come to your throat?"

Yes Carol... it's like I drank something that my body didn't need. My mouth is full now. No, no, I can't stay like this, I have to spit out what's in my mouth. Now it's going to come out one way or another, at the speed my heart is beating. Oh, I can't hold it. Forgive me, Carol. I looked around. No one is watching. I turned to the side of the table and opened my mouth. Oh, what is this? Was it water that came out of my mouth? I think my two legs got wet too.

"Oh, can't you even drink that?"

You say that, Carol... it's like it's setting me on fire. I don't know how you drink it.

I can't even remember anything to say. I gave a smile to Carol. It feels like it's even difficult for me to look at Carol. Is this what the shyness Mother taught me is about?

"Now it's okay, right? If it comes to your throat again, put it out."

It seems okay now. My throat hurts a little.

"Now it's okay..."

Mother is the one who should be responsible for all of this. If she had let me drink these earlier, this wouldn't have happened.

"It happens to many people who drink this drink... you don't drink it little by little, drink it all at once, then it's fine."

It's okay if it happens to everyone the first time. I thought it was only me. That means Carol is used to drinking this drink. But how to drink again? I looked at Carol.

"Don't be scared, drink it all at once for me..."

Oh, my throat will burn again. The way my heart is still beating... I don't know what will happen if I drink it again. But if I don't drink, Carol might think I can't even drink this... I took the glass into my hand. I need to get used to these things too. I put the bitter drink that was in the glass into my mouth. I won't put the glass back until I drink it all, otherwise my chest will burn again. No, no... I have to drink it all and then put the glass down.

I put the emptied glass on the table. It's like my breathing speed has increased. I looked at Carol. I can do things you can do too.

Why isn't my heart beating? Did it stop? Why do the music sounds heard from around, the people's sounds, hurt my ears so much? Oh, the sound is too much. My head is getting warm. I looked at Carol.

Oh, why are there four people like Carol? Everything is blue, isn't it? What happened to my eyes? Oh, why does it look like there is too much of everything? Why is my head putting on so much weight? I should put my head on the table.

"What happened? Speak..."

Who is shaking me? There are four blue-colored things like Carol. Who should I look at? It's even hard to keep my eyes open. I closed my eyes.