​ELIS'S BORROWED LIFE

Chapter 2 | Two Days Earlier

The rain that fell as the sun was setting felt like a silent attempt to be freed from some kind of sorrow. I sat alone on a chair by the window of this vast mansion, staring at the raindrops sliding down the glass pane. Counting the drops that hit the cold window had become the only pastime in my world.

“Two thousand five hundred and five… two thousand five hundred and six…”

The rhythm in those numbers was the only music in my quiet world. As easy as it was for me to do this, it was something my mother could never understand. With the weight of her life experiences, she probably saw counting raindrops as something completely meaningless.

In just two days, I will turn twenty-six. Like every year, this birthday too will quietly end inside this mansion, with a small piece of cake shared only with my mother. I have no friends. I have no connection to the outside world. I know my mother built this protective wall around me out of her endless love, trying to keep me safe from the dangers outside. That love lets me breathe, but at the same time, it has trapped me inside this vast mansion.

If my father had not died the moment I was born, he would have been here with me today, celebrating my birthday. I have no memory of him—not even a faint trace left in my mind. To me, he exists only as a mysterious shadow shaped by my imagination. Sometimes I wonder, if he were still alive today, my world might have been different. Under his loving protection, I might have had the chance to see the outside world.

But even today, I continue counting raindrops.

The rain slid down the window glass in a chaotic rush, yet not a single drop escaped my eyes. Even in that confusion, I carefully kept counting.

“Five thousand five hundred and ten… five thousand five hundred and eleven…”

“Baby…”

My mother’s voice from a distance tried to break my concentration, but I had no desire to stop. I kept counting without pause. Suddenly, with a sharp sound, she pulled the window curtain shut. In that moment, the window closed—and my world fell into darkness.

“Are you starting that again today? Don’t push yourself too hard, baby. I don’t want you to get sick.”

There was a certain firmness in her voice, but I knew that was simply how she protected me. She looked at me as if I were still a fragile girl who knew nothing about the world.

“Mom… you know how much I love the rain. And… don’t you understand how important this is to me when it’s raining?”

“Elis… I don’t want to see you getting sick.”

The deep love and care in her words warmed my heart. I gently kissed her wrinkled cheek and hugged her tightly. As her warm tears fell onto my shoulder, I pulled her even closer.

“Mom… why do you protect me so much?”

It was a question I asked her every day, and I already knew her answer would never change.

“I’m afraid of losing you, baby.”

I know how much my mother loves me. She is my whole world. But… I have always longed to see the outside world, to meet new people, to step out of this vast mansion and experience life beyond these walls. Yet my desire always feels helpless in front of my mother’s love. I never argue with her. I know she would never understand what I long for.

After a while, she released me from her embrace and held my shoulders, making me stand straight.

“Come on, my darling… you must be really tired from counting raindrops. Let’s go and eat.”

My mother never asks me, “Are you hungry?” She always decides when I should eat. To be honest, I didn’t feel hungry. But I had no heart to go against her. I know everything she does is for my own good. So I followed her to the dining room—not because I was hungry, but because I respect her words.

On the dining table, as always, there was the same type of food. I had been eating only this for the past year. When I once asked her about it, she always said, “This food is really good for your body.” And I had to believe her. As far as I could remember, I had never been sick. Deep down, I knew she only wanted to protect me.

After finishing the meal, I went to bed before she even told me to. Because I already knew her next words would be, “Go to sleep.”

Sleeping was my special talent. Most of my day was spent sleeping. There was nothing else for me to do inside this vast mansion. If anyone from the outside looked in, they would only see the servants working around the mansion. I always thought they were like robots, because they never spoke a single word to me. I was even afraid to talk to them. Until now, I had never spoken to anyone except my mother.

“What are you thinking about instead of sleeping?”

My mother asked that while looking at her smartphone, then lay down on the bed beside me.

“I was waiting for you.”

I hugged her tightly. I knew very well that she was just scrolling up and down f*******:—not really searching for anything important. From her arms, I secretly peeked at what she was looking at. She absolutely didn’t like it when I looked at her phone.

“What are you looking at? Didn’t I tell you not to look at my phone?”

Oh no… she saw me looking! I forced an awkward smile while looking at her. Her face looked a bit angry, so I pinched her cheek gently.

“Okay, okay, Mom… I won’t look again.”

My mother put the phone aside and gently placed my head on her chest, slowly stroking my hair.

“Now sleep, my dear.”

Wrapped in her warmth and those loving words, I slowly closed my eyes.

******

Sunlight streamed through the large glass window of the room and broke my sleep. When I slowly opened my eyes, the first thing I felt was emptiness.

Mom wasn’t in bed. She was never beside me when I woke up. She always woke up early in the morning to prepare my food and drinks with great care. She never allowed even the servants to prepare anything for me. I knew she did all of this thinking about my safety.

My eyes then fell on her smartphone lying on the bed. She never left her phone in a place like this. A long-hidden curiosity inside me slowly rose. I gently picked it up. The light from the screen felt unusually sharp to my eyes.

There was a passcode, but I had secretly observed how she used it before. My heart started beating faster. I knew this was wrong. I should never do anything she had forbidden. If she found out, she would be very upset.

I placed the phone back on the bed.

But my curiosity didn’t fade.

Thinking I could quickly put it away if she came back, I picked it up again and entered the passcode.

A video was playing on the screen—it was already halfway through.

The images that unfolded on the phone screen made my entire body tremble. It was a gateway to a world I had never seen before. As I watched the physical intimacy between a man and a woman, I couldn’t tell whether my body was heating up or shaking in fear. The world I had known until now was limited to the walls of this vast mansion—the beautiful illusion my mother had shown me. But now… was what I was seeing on this screen reality? Or some dark dream I knew nothing about?

Was that woman in pain, or was she experiencing pleasure? Why didn’t she push him away? As countless questions tangled in my mind, the similarity between my own developing womanly body and the girl on the screen sent a sharp jolt through me. Would I one day have to face something like this too?

With trembling hands, I put the phone aside. Was my mother keeping me locked away like this to protect me from such strange things in the outside world?

My thoughts began to torment me. At that moment, my inner voice screamed like madness: “I want to see the outside world, Mom… I want to live that life!” I pleaded to her silently from my heart. But in front of my mother’s boundless love, those desires felt helpless. I had secretly taken the phone she strictly forbade and broken her trust without hesitation.

“What are you thinking about, my dear?”

With her gentle voice, I fell out of my mental world. She sat on the bed and lovingly handed me a glass of milk. Hiding the storm inside my heart, I forced a smile. The way she looked at me carried limitless affection. But behind this love… was it protection, or a cage that had trapped me?

“My dear, what happened? You look pale…”

When she asked again with concern, I struggled to find my words. Pinching her cheek playfully, I smiled and lied.

“Nothing, Mom…”

She kissed my forehead and left the room. I took a sip of the milk. I was playing a double role today. In front of her, I was her innocent daughter. But when she was gone, behind the walls of this mansion, I became a rebel dreaming of the outside world.

Was my mother really stopping me for my own good? How many more things in this world did I not know? If what I saw in that video was real, then one day I might have to face such a moment too. And then… what would I do? How long would I keep hiding under my mother’s loving shadow?