Aubade (Dawn Serenade)

Demonic Hour

Irene was now at the backseat, leaning her head on the car's window, her index finger connecting the raindrops displayed on it. It's 3:00 am the demonic hour. Her mom used to say it was called like that because demons are at their strongest at this time. Wendy, however, with her big-a*s brain, told her a different thing, one that made more sense.

"I'm sorry we have to stop driving, the main roads are flooded. You should take a nap or something." The driver got inside the car after ordering two cups of hot chocolate from the gas station's convenience store. Apparently, the August storm just landed 3 hours ago and now it has been raining nonstop, flooding the busiest highways.

"Wendy told me we are most vulnerable to our inner demons at this hour." Irene reached for the cup of hot chocolate not having any intention of sipping, just for the purpose of warming her cold hands.

"I agree. Everyone's just so sad and lonely and hurt at this hour. Though, I hope they are aware that they're still beautiful people." The driver reclined her seat, she knew they might stay here until the morning. The storm ain't gonna disappear overnight. She looked outside, the electricity has been cut off and the nearby 7-11 were their only source of light as of now.

"I hate how you sound like Wendy and it makes me so damn sad that you aren't really her." Irene continued staring outside her window, she finds the sound of the rain therapeutic yet she'll flinch along with the person beside her every time the thunder roars. 

"Wendy.. hmmm.. you've been mentioning her nonstop. Who is she in your life anyway?" The driver played the radio and Hericane by Lany drowned the faint noise outside.

"Well, she's.... my life." Irene reclined her chair, she's starting to feel the headaches now and it gets even worse when it sunk to her, that yes, she made Wendy her life. It's a f*******n act to let someone become synonymous with life, a golden rule, but she loved her enough to break it.

"Oh wow. Is she aware of that?" The blonde woman exclaimed, she knew Irene was madly into "Wendy" but not to that extent of depending her whole happiness on the person she's in love with.

"I don't think so. If she knew, she wouldn't have left." Irene  sighed a deep one. Here goes the pain again and she's just so done with trying to stop it. She let it hurt, her chest beating rapidly as she reminisced about what happened that night when Wendy was in dilemma what to choose between her and Wendy's own happiness.

A bolt of loud lightning & thunder erupted again but this time both women did not react. All Irene seemed to hear was her heart beating so loudly it almost sounded like a ticking bomb.

"You're right. If you told her, she wouldn't. She would've found a way to make it work." 

"You're not Wendy, you can't say that."

"But isn't it something Wendy might do?"

"Wendy would put her dreams above anything else!" Irene's voice raised a little higher, she's getting pissed off, she had enough of spending with what-ifs and what could've been, and this driver acting like she knew Wendy isn't helping at all.

"And you weren't part of that? Does it ever come to your mind that growing old with you is one of her "dreams"?"

"And if I really was, then  I must be a dream not worth pursuing." Irene accepted it already. Ever since Wendy chose to end things with her to pursue her dreams of being a Korean Idol, she knew she's no longer part of her future anymore.

The driver kept quiet,  she would never win in this argument. She turned to glance at Irene, the raindrops casting shadows on her face. Her features are so defined and symmetrical that if you see her for the first time, you would think she is an art piece.

"If there is something more aesthetically pleasing than artworks it would be you." The driver whispered, careful the brunette would not hear her and embarrass herself.

"For sure Wendy is equally in pain as you are." Out of all the things the driver has to say, she blurted that one aloud

--and as if the statement is an igniter of some sort, Irene exploded.

"Those who were left behind are the ones who would suffer the most. The ones who walked away always had a choice,  we don't. Do you f*****g know how it feels?"

Thing is, Irene's visual is the opposite of how she feels, she seemed to be made up of only the good things until a tear fell down from her eyes.

"Irene I'm sorry...." the driver extended her arm to wipe the tears from Irene's eyes. The past must've destroyed her, so much that every time the driver tries to wipe it, it just multiplies.

Sobs were echoing inside the car and it was like a thousand needles puncturing the driver's heart at once. The driver got up and sat beside Irene.  She let her own arms enveloped her into a tight hug hoping it will glue Irene back together.

"I hate her for doing this to me." Irene buried her face on the driver's neck and continued bawling her eyes out.

"I understand, I hate myself too." The driver whispered and kissed Irene's forehead.

A kiss won't make Irene suffer less but it was a kiss long overdue, a kiss she should've given to a begging Irene on their apartment floor instead of slamming the door shut and left her crying alone.

If only she had given Irene a chance to choose, then she would've achieved both of her dreams. After all, Irene always knows what to do.