MOAN FOR ME MOANA

I CAN’T WATCH

✿MOANA✿⁠

The school’s unofficial party house was packed by the time we arrived. Music pounded through the walls, bass vibrating the floor. The air was thick with the smell of alcohol and too many bodies pressed together. People were everywhere dancing in the living room, making out in corners, playing drinking games in the kitchen.

I had changed into a short black dress that hugged every curve, my hair loose and wild around my shoulders. I looked like the queen I was, and I knew it.

“Drinks first,” Lalissa announced, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward the kitchen.

We poured shots, clinked glasses, and threw them back. The alcohol burned going down, but it felt good. I needed it.

“Let’s dance,” Octavia said, and we pushed our way into the living room where bodies moved to the heavy beat.

I let myself get lost in it, the music, the movement, the feeling of being surrounded by people. I danced with my friends, laughed at their jokes, and tried to forget about him.

But then I saw Dylan.

He was standing near the stairs, surrounded by people. Bethany was draped over him, her arms around his neck. Another girl stood too close on his other side, her hand on his chest. He had a drink in one hand and that infuriating smirk on his face.

He looked like he was holding court.

My chest tightened, but I forced myself to look away.

“Ignore him,” Octavia shouted over the music.

“I am ignoring him,” I shouted back.

I danced harder, moved closer to a guy who’d been eyeing me from across the room. When he moved closer and put his hands on my hips, I let him.

I felt his gaze on me before I saw him looking.

When I finally glanced over, our eyes locked across the crowded room.

The space between us felt charged, electric, impossible to ignore.

Then he deliberately turned back to Bethany and kissed her.

Right there. In front of everyone.

His hands slid down her back, pulling her flush against him. The kiss was deep, possessive, meant to be seen.

My nails dug into my palms.

The guy I was dancing with said something, but I didn’t hear it. I nodded anyway, let him keep his hands on my waist, but I couldn’t focus.

An hour passed. Then another. The party got wilder, messier. People were drunk, sloppy, losing themselves in the chaos.

I drank more than I should have. Not enough to be drunk, but enough to feel the edges blur.

And then I saw him heading upstairs.

Bethany was with him, her hand in his, giggling at something he’d said.

They disappeared down the upstairs hallway.

I knew exactly what was about to happen.

I couldn’t do this anymore.

“I’m going home,” I said, turning to Octavia and Lalissa.

“What?” Lalissa grabbed my arm. “The party just started.”

“I know. I’m just tired.”

“Tired?” Octavia’s eyes narrowed. “Or you can’t keep watching him?”

“Both.” I pulled my arm free gently. “I just need to go.”

They exchanged a long, worried look.

“Moana,” Lalissa said slowly. “Since when do you let a guy run you out of a party?”

“I’m not letting him do anything. I’m choosing to leave.”

“Bullshit,” Octavia said flatly. “You’re running because you can’t handle seeing him with someone else.”

“So what if I am?” My voice came out sharper than I intended. “Why does it matter?”

“Because you’re Moana Queens,” Lalissa said. “You don’t run. You don’t let guys get to you. You stay and you party and you don’t give a single f**k what anyone else is doing.”

“Maybe I’m tired of being that girl.”

“He’s getting to you,” Octavia said quietly. “Dylan is making you soft.”

“No he’s not.”

“Yes he is,” Lalissa insisted. “And we hate seeing it. You’ve always been the strong one. The one who doesn’t let anyone break her down. But Dylan is breaking you down, and you’re letting him.”

“I’m not letting him do anything,” I said, but even I could hear how weak it sounded.

“Then stay,” Octavia challenged. “Prove it. Prove he doesn’t affect you.”

I looked between my two best friends.

They were worried.

Genuinely, deeply worried about me.

And they had every right to be.

Because they were right.

He was getting to me in ways no one ever had. He was under my skin, in my head, breaking down walls I’d spent years building.

And I didn’t know how to stop it.

“I can’t,” I said quietly.

The admission hung in the air between us.

Octavia reached out and squeezed my hand. “Then go. But Moana? You need to figure out what you’re going to do about him. Because this? Whatever this is? It’s killing you.”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

I grabbed my bag, pulled out my phone, and ordered a ride.

“Text us when you get home,” Lalissa said.

“I will.”