" if you are watching this then I'm not here any longer. there are so many things I want to say. that day I was told I was sick I started writing you letters. all of you. I decided to make this video to tell you in my own voice that I need you to get all your tears out now. grieve my loss but don't live in it. I love you all so much you made me feel more love than I ever thought possible. I'm sorry I'm crying. I just want you to know I'm always watching over you all. I'm always there being proud of you. Josh. my dear sweet Josh. I love you baby and I want you to smile again. be strong it will happen and the kids they need to hear you laugh and they need you to smile and play with them and not be afraid to love them. if I could tell you one special thing you gave to me, it would be that you
