After My Death, He Regretted Madly

Chapter 2

Every word that left Javier's mouth struck my chest like a bullet, and searing pain exploded through my heart in an instant.

I jerked my face away, too scared to look at him, a bitter taste flooding across my tongue.

He wasn't wrong. I was the one who got all those teammates killed.

If I'd figured out Blue Coast was a trap sooner, none of them would have died.

If I'd just held out a little longer, waited until the dust settled, we'd still be fighting side by side under the American flag.

Javier and I looked up at the group photo on the wall almost at the exact same time. Every grin frozen in that frame felt like a knife twisting slowly in my flesh.

"That Jennifer girl is something else! Top of the shooting range again!"

"Hey guys, my kid's due next month. All of you better come celebrate with me, yeah?"

"My daughter's starting elementary school soon. I'm definitely walking her to her first day this time."

All those old memories flashed right in front of my eyes, and my vision blurred in a second.

All those once lively, warm people ended up as nothing but sealed police badge numbers, left only to be mourned and remembered.

The air in the office turned thick as molasses. Suffocation closed around my throat all at once.

I stared at Javier, and suddenly I was right back at the afternoon of his parents' funeral.

"May flowers honor the departed, may warmth return to the grieving. May our lands stand unbroken, may our nation thrive, and its people know peace..."

That day, just like now, was bright and clear with gentle spring weather, as those words of mourning echoed over and over through the crowd.

Javier's parents had been taken hostage by criminals mid-arrest. They'd died in the line of duty protecting the civilians, not even given time to leave a last word.

I still remember Javier kneeling in front of their memorial portrait. His face was completely blank, but I knew he was already hanging on by a thread.

That night, he'd clung to me, his tears dripping one by one, heavy and hot, against the crook of my neck.

"Jennifer, I don't have a mom and dad anymore. I'll fulfill their last wish. I swear I will."

After that day, I barely saw him. The only times I caught a glimpse were when his mentor, Frederico, dropped by to turn in reports every now and then.

"Javier, no one gets away. Traitor Jennifer... won't be the exception."

Captain Morgan's low, gravelly voice snapped me straight back to the present.

A cold glint flashed across Javier's eyes, his voice sharp as shards of ice, "Of course she won't."

At his words, the light drained from my eyes. The whole truth sat heavy in my chest, but I couldn't say a word to defend myself.

He had every right to hate me more than anyone else in the world.

Because... I was the one who killed his mentor with my own two hands.

I dropped my gaze to my left hand, trembling so hard with agony I could barely control it. It felt like someone was squeezing my heart in a vice, so much pain that every breath I took tasted like iron.

Three years prior, inside an abandoned building, this exact hand had sent a bullet straight into Frederico's heart.

He'd been tied to a chair, beaten so badly he was barely recognizable.

The second he saw me, his eyes lit up like a dying flame flaring bright. "Jennifer, kill me. Kill me! I can never let them control me. Please... kill me!"

As life was fading from him, I dropped to my knees in front of him, sobbing too hard to get full words out, "Frederico, I'm sorry..."

But he just smiled, relieved, and whispered, "Jennifer, thank you..."

The wail of sirens cut through the air, growing louder by the second. I had just enough time to bow deeply to Frederico before I bolted for the exit.

I'd barely made it to the second floor when Javier's guttural, trembling roar ripped through the building, "Jennifer!"

I couldn't stop myself from glancing back. It had been so long since I'd seen him. I'd missed him so bad it ached.

But the sight that met my eyes gutted me. He was clutching Frederico's body to his chest, his clothes soaked through with blood.

Our gazes locked from across the space. He stared daggers at me, his eyes were so bloodshot they looked ready to bleed.

"Jennifer, one day, I will make sure you answer for what you've done with my own two hands!"

All these years later, that memory was still as sharp as if it had happened yesterday. The bitter ache in my chest bloomed into a ravenous beast, swallowing me whole in an instant.

Right then, Javier's phone, lying flat on the desk, buzzed to life with a low hum.

My eyes darted towards it instinctively, and my heart gave a sharp lurch.

Bianca Keller.

She was the daughter of an old friend of Javier's father, and she'd grown up in the Javier household.

After Javier's parents passed, it wouldn't be an overstatement to say the two of them leaned on each other for survival.

The way Javier's face softened the second he saw the caller's ID sent a sharp sting behind my nose, and my eyes burned.

Bianca's soft, gentle voice drifted over to me through the speaker.

"Javier, the bridal shop said our wedding outfits are ready. When do you have time to come take a look at them?"