Chapter 8-1
1095 Words
8
The flight home was long, but the twins sent me back in style. I didn’t have time to say goodbye to Kim Mi-su or Hae-in, but both sent me farewell texts. Mi-Su promised to send my things with the twins, and Hae-in emphasized that we’d meet again. The trip to South Korea wasn’t planned, but it turns out it was the best thing for me now.
No one greets me at the airport. I rideshare home and the front lights are on at my house. I moved when I knew I was pregnant. I refused to be a burden to my parents. Anna is the one that helped find this place. It’s nice and quiet, away from nosy neighbors and just enough land to raise a family. But I’m not ready to walk inside. This place doesn’t hold the sound of laughter or the footsteps of little people. My heart is heavy. What if I open the door and collapse? There are multiple scenarios and none of them good. I long to go back to a time when things were different.
Simpler.
Before the twins.
Before the heartbreak.
And before the unchecked rage buried deep inside of me erupts.
My phone rings. I look down and see it’s Hae-in.
“Hello.”
“Good morning.” His voice is rough. It sounds like he just got out of bed.
“It’s the middle of the night here,” I say in a hushed tone. I talk as if I don’t want anyone to hear, but there’s no one around.
“Well then, good evening. Why are you whispering?”
“No clue.” It’s strange how hearing his voice offers a kind of comfort I wasn’t aware I needed.
“I like it. Makes you sound tame.”
“Tame?”
“I think I chose the wrong word. I mean,”—Hae-in clears his voice and mumbles something in Korean— “calm. You sound calmer. Even though I’ve never experienced the type of loss you have, I know it’s hard being back home.”
Our conversation stops and the silence between us is heavy. I can’t get past his words because he’s right. My throat burns and my eyes get blurry.
“India, you still there?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll stay on the phone with you. We don’t have to talk, but I’ll stay.”
I clear my throat and blink back the tears clouding my vision. I haven’t opened my front door. I’m still on the porch. A moth flutters around the light, bumping against the bulb rapidly. Its large wings make the light strobe as it flitters about. My chest heaves in and out, matching the insect’s rapid movement and my legs threaten to buckle.
“India, I won’t say it’s going to be all right, but I will say you can do this. Are you inside?”
I shake my head.
“India, are you inside?”
I shake my head again. No, I’m not inside. I’m stuck outside and like the moth beating its wings against the light, I desperately want in. Maybe for the moth it’s the opposite. Maybe it wants the light off because it can only thrive in the dark. Or maybe it clings to the light because it’s afraid of the darkness and although it may never get the warmth of the light, it consciously decides no matter how long it takes, somehow, some way, things can get better if it doesn’t give in to the darkness it fears.
“Your breathing slowed. Can you hear me?” Hae-in’s voice breaks through my thoughts. How long have I been like this?
“Yes.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m standing in front of my door.”
“If you’re not ready to walk in, is there some place you can go?”
There is. But I don’t want to wake anyone up. “It’s too late. I don’t want to intrude.”
“Okay, so a hotel.” I hear clacking on a keyboard and then Hae-in speaks again, “There is a hotel in your area, just outside of Beauville. I can book you a room. Go there, sleep, and when you’re ready call a family member.
“Okay,” I hear myself say. I’m on autopilot. I’m still staring at the moth and its efforts.
“I’m arranging a car to pick you up now.”
“Okay.”
“India, stay on the phone with me until you get there.”
“Okay.”
“I have a schedule again. My minibreak is over. Do you want to know what my manager has planned for me today?”
“Okay.”
“I have a photoshoot in an hour. I’m going to meet with a director about a drama my agency wants me to do. Also going to speak to some investors about a building project and then I will do another photoshoot. Get fitted for my sister’s upcoming engagement party, another photoshoot and then a wrap-up party for the last drama I shot.”
Someone else’s voice calls out to me, but it isn’t Hae-in’s.
“Ma’am, are you Miss Danvers?”
I face the strange woman and notice a black car with the lights on.
“Yes.”
“Please, follow me.” The driver takes my luggage in one hand and gently grabs my arm and walks me to the car.
“I’m glad the driver showed.”
“Yeah,” I say, still on autopilot. There is an image in my mind that hasn’t left me. I thought I saw a pair of eyes staring out at me from my closed window. But that’s not possible. I’m seeing things, and I know it, but it still feels real.
The drive to the hotel isn’t long. Hae-in is on the phone and continues talking.
“I’m going to send some things to you, they should arrive soon.”
“Okay.”
I can be like the moth.
I can be the moth.
“You don’t need to worry about the room or room service. Charge everything to the room.”
“Okay.”
There is a man waiting for me when the driver opens my door. “Ms. Danvers, I will send your luggage up. Please follow me this way.”
I follow the man into the elevator. Hae-in remains on the phone with me but is talking to someone else. “I’ll be ready when I’m ready. A friend needs me. The photoshoot can wait.”
The elevator doors close, and then open a few moments later, and I step into an immense room. There’s an enormous vase of flowers and a bowl of fruit. A woman is waiting in the foyer.
“Ms. Danvers, welcome.”
She’s saying other things, but I don’t listen. My feet find the bedroom as exhaustion overtakes me.
“India, it sounds like you’ve arrived safely.” The warm voice on the phone soothes me.
“Yes, for now.” I fall on the bed and keep hold of the phone.
“Good night. Get some sleep, I’ll check on you tonight.”
“Okay.”
The pillow greets me, but what awaits me in sleep I’m not sure. Before I completely fall asleep, the last thought I have is how did Hae-in know where I was? How was he able to arrange everything? I never gave him my details. Did I?
- Writer
