New Beginnings: Stories from Beauville

11. India-1

11

INDIA

I’m frozen.

Speechless.

I knew Hae-in was coming. He’d said as much. But when I say his entrance is mad crazy. It is. Hae-in places both his hands on my shoulders and lightly massages me. It’s a bold move on his part. But I don’t stop him.

“India, you’re tense. You need to get more rest.”

He’s not wrong.

Sawyer slams his drink down. “Why are you here?”

I turn slightly and look up at Hae-in. Why am I so attracted to him?

“I’m here because I said I would be. I’m also part-owner of this hotel. Why can’t I be here?”

His response is dripping with sarcasm.

“I don’t care what you own. I care that you’re interrupting dinner.”

“Apologies for my intrusion. I guess I’m excited to see India. It feels like we haven’t seen each other in forever.”

Sawyer scoots his chair back to stand.

“Sawyer, stop. It’s fine.” I turn back toward Hae-in and smile. “We we’re just about to have dinner. Can I come find you after we eat?”

The man is bold. I’ll give him that, and a tad bit on the cocky side by the smile that spreads across his lips.

“Please do find me. I’ll leave my room key at the front desk.”

“All right. See you later.”

Hae-in bows before leaving, and I’m left with two glaring men.

“India, you came here with us.” Finn takes a sip from his glass and grunts.

Sawyer shakes his head in frustration. Finn is now standing as well, and both men look down at me like I’m a traitor. “Indy, this s**t has gone far enough. Don’t you think it’s a bit too soon to jump into a relationship?”

I glare up at both men. The nerve. Finn is dating. Why she hasn’t come down here to get her man is beyond me. “Why do the two of you need to be concerned about how I feel? From the start we were wrong and not because of our relationship, but because of your disregard for my feelings or concerns. I’m not a toy you can just pick up and play with when you want.”

“It’s not like that, Indy.”

“Seriously? Well, that’s not good enough for me. It all sounds like the two of you still want to control me, and it’s not going to happen.”

“India, stop right there,” Sawyer warns.

But I keep going. “Neither of you wanted to be fathers. And I get it. Stop trying to comfort me in order to assuage your own guilt.”

Sawyer’s eyes drop to the table and Finn scratches the back of his neck. They feel guilty. I know I’m right. They weren’t gung-ho about my pregnancy, and neither was I. But I didn’t skirt the situation.

“Indy, you know we felt that way in the beginning, it’s not like that now. We value you and despite our tragedy, we both consider you a part of our family.”

Now I stand. My skin feels tight, and my face is getting hot. “Are you f*****g kidding me right now?” I scream. People in the restaurant are noticing, but I don’t care. “You both were seeing other people while I was carrying your babies and now you see me as family? Did I say s**t? No! Why? Because we agreed to split. That means I’m not with you and you’re not with me. The only thing I asked was for you to be fathers. When we lost the first baby, and I struggled to keep Zoe safe, neither of you was there. Even though you knew I struggled to maintain a healthy pregnancy. Instead, you both took job after job. Traveling all over the damn globe. I didn’t say one word, and I shouldn’t have had to say anything at all. I barely heard from you.”

“Indy, calm down, sweetheart. We were there for most of the appointments. At the time we didn’t realize the severity of the situation.” Finn rounds the table and tries to calm me down, but I step back.

“Why should I be calm!” I scream. “Why? ‘Cause you don’t want these folks to know you’re both assholes who abandoned their baby momma?”

“No, Indy. We know we were wrong, but I need you to calm down.” Finn tries to console me again.

“Right, you were both wrong. So wrong. But I kept pushing forward. When I had Zoe, you two weren’t even there. Why? Because you were somewhere overseas on some so-called mission. More like a mission to get as far away from me as possible. You think because you showed up to a few appointments that negates the other s**t y’all did? I delivered my dead baby girl all by myself. Even held her lifeless body in my arms.” The tears fall, and I can’t control the overwhelming pain that racks my body. My legs weaken and what strength I have leaves me unable to stand. I don’t hit the ground. I’m in someone’s arms and when I look up, I come face-to-face with sparkling eyes and a furrowed brow.

Hae-in.

I’m in Hae-in’s arms.