The Nememiah Chronicles Collection - Books 1-3

7. Rowena-3

I watched him cautiously, frightened by his aggressive response. He stood up and walked a few steps away, turning his back to me before he spoke. “I don"t want to kill you. I will do everything – everything within my power to keep that from happening. That"s what I have been doing for the past few months, keeping away from you, trying to get my craving under control.” He turned to face me again, his eyes filled with sadness. “That day when I saw you at the Quikmart – I was stunned when I ran into you unexpectedly. You were so close and I could smell your wonderful scent. It immediately drove me wild and my baser instincts kicked in. I"m sorry I was so impolite – I had to get out, had to get away from you before I did something I would spend an eternity regretting. I care about you, far more than I rightly should given our circumstances. I don"t want to hurt you, Charlotte. I thought by staying away, it was the best possible solution for both of us.” He sighed heavily, shaking his head. “But no matter what I do, you are in my mind constantly, day and night and I can"t get your scent out of my memory. It"s nearly driven me mad.”

everything“My scent?” I repeated blankly.

“I told you about our heightened senses. In my situation, where I do not drink human blood, I have become immune to the general scent of humans to a certain extent. I still smell human blood, of course, and have the underlying thirst for human blood, but it can be sated with animal blood. In this situation – with you – all the arrogant pride I had in my ability to abstain has proven to be nonsense. Since meeting you, I"ve discovered the allure of your scent completely overwhelms me. It makes me desire the taste of your blood, more than I have ever desired anything before.”

He paused for a moment and I stared at him vacantly. “I see you still don"t fully understand. Let me think.” I waited while he paced the bedroom floor, his brow furrowed in concentration. He stopped pacing suddenly and looked back at me. “Imagine the finest wine in the world. It has the most delicate, beautiful perfume you have ever experienced. The bouquet is beyond description. You are that wine to me. The temptation is great to sip the wine, to savor the wine; to sate my thirst with what I know would be the sweetest drink in the world.” He stepped towards me, his expression solemn. “But I know if I were to drink that wine, I would never get the opportunity to smell that sweet bouquet again. So I must keep the wine safe, learn to live with cherishing the bouquet, to control my own actions.”

YouI contemplated the explanation, understanding so much more. Probably more than I wanted to. It didn"t change a thing though, I still felt my heart sing when I looked into his eyes, still wanted to know more about him and spend time with him. From what he"d said, however, it seemed impossible. How could we spend time together, if it was such torture for him to be close to me? A wave of despair gripped me and the wretchedness was suddenly overwhelming.

The door crashed open and a tall woman flew through it, looking deeply perturbed. She stopped abruptly, glancing from me to Lucas and back again. “Everything okay?” she inquired cheerfully.

I nodded, stunned by her outlandish appearance. She was both eye-catching and extraordinary – wearing no make-up, her skin was translucent, her eyes the blue of a calm ocean on a summer day. Swirls of silver twinkled and shifted in her eyes as she smiled cheerfully, her lips pouty and full, though I doubted collagen was involved. Her lips were just perfectly formed and against the paleness of her skin, the color of crushed strawberries. Her hair was outrageous – gelled and styled into what I would probably describe as gothic punk – it was the darkest black imaginable with streaks of brilliant pink, which reminded me of vibrant flamingo feathers. She was wearing relatively normal black jeans, which skimmed her extra long legs, the denim artfully torn and ripped and she was barefoot, her nails painted the same shade of pink as her hair. Her shirt was tie-dyed, in iridescent blue, pink, and neon green. Somehow it all looked perfectly chic, if somewhat overpowering, to gaze at for any period.

“Cool. Okay. I"m Marianne, by the way. It"s a pleasure to meet you.” She glanced back to Lucas and grimaced beneath the thunderous expression in his eyes. “Sorry for the interruption. I"ll catch you both later. See ya!” She disappeared as quickly as she had arrived, slipping out the door with a happy grin.

“I wonder what that was about,” Lucas murmured. He took another few steps towards me and I reached out to him. He was at my side in an instant, clasping my hand in his. He continued to gaze at me for a minute, before realization crept into his eyes. “What were you thinking, just before Marianne arrived?”

I looked away, blushing furiously. He caught my chin with his fingers, drawing my face up to meet his. “Please, tell me Charlotte. I need to know.”

“I was thinking that… despite you wanting to bite me, I still want to be here with you.” I flushed a deeper red and he waited for me to continue. “I was thinking it was an impossible situation, I couldn"t allow you to struggle with your… issue, not if it was going to hurt you so much to be near me.” I looked down at his hand intertwined with mine, his skin so white against my own, which had seemed quite pale until recently. It was difficult to speak about this, we barely knew one another, and yet I was drawn to him, as I had never been to another man. The very thought of admitting what I felt was enough to make me feel utterly pathetic. How needy was I?

issue“Go on, please Charlotte.”

The next words came out in a rush, and I cringed in embarrassment. “When I thought about not seeing you any more, I felt depressed and unhappy.” There. I"d said it. As pathetic as it was, I wanted to be with him. I felt certain he would laugh in my face and prepare to ship me off to the nearest hospital.

He nodded thoughtfully, instead. “That explains Marianne"s panic. I assume that was the exact moment in which your future disappeared.” He managed a grim smile. “She probably thought I"d lost the battle and bitten you.”

I smiled weakly. “Is it so difficult? To be near me?”

Lucas"s jaw clenched and the muscle was clearly visible beneath his skin. “More difficult than you can possibly imagine,” he admitted huskily, squeezing my fingers. “It"s a battle I intend to win, however. I will get used to it, I promise you. There is no other solution, I have tried staying away from you and couldn"t bear it. That was almost more painful.”

We sat wordlessly for a minute and I savored the words he"d spoken. Did they mean what I wanted them to? Did he care for me? Was it even possible, for a vampire and a human to like one another? I closed my eyes, thinking through everything we"d discussed and concentrated on his cool fingers rubbing the back of my hand, his thumb tracing circles against my skin.

There was another knock at the door and Ben entered the room. “My apologies for interrupting, but Marianne informs me Charlotte is in need of pain relief. Without it, she"s going to endure a terrible night.”

I raised an eyebrow at Lucas. “I thought you said Marianne couldn"t read humans.”

Lucas seemed intrigued. “Where you are concerned, she seems to be remarkably accurate. For what reason, I don"t know.”

Ben began to prepare a syringe of fluid and I eyed it anxiously. “I"m really okay,” I muttered, but my face apparently gave me away. The pain had steadily increased while I talked with Lucas and I"d ignored it, wanting to continue our discussion. Now it hurt to take the smallest breath and aches were springing up all over my body.

Ben carefully inserted the needle into my arm, his technique so skillful that it was virtually painless. “Jerome will be furious if I don"t follow his orders. I"m giving you some morphine, Charlotte. It will reduce the pain to a more tolerable level and allow you to rest.”

I nodded sleepily, my eyes beginning to close of their own accord as the morphine entered my bloodstream.

Lucas patted my hand. “I"ll leave you to rest.”

“No, please stay here with me,” I mumbled. I clutched at his hand and he sat down in the chair beside me.

“Alright. I"ll stay here with you, I promise. I will be here for you, as long as you want,” Lucas said huskily.

I smiled, then the morphine overwhelmed me and I slept.