Prologue: The Orcheim Bible

1714 Words
Welp, I’m a Daddy. More precisely, I have like ten kids now. I don’t mean the brats that I was raising from the village, but actual babies that were born because I had s*x with their mothers. The sun has risen and fallen about a hundred times since I last wrote in this diary. What is that in Earth days though? Maybe a month? From the time we first had s*x, until my four mistresses gave birth, was about thirty days on this planet. The world that I’ve tentatively named Orcheim. Every ten days the Matriarch will instruct everyone to pack up the tents and start migrating farther up the river. I’m not sure if this is just something they do on an annual basis or if it’s because of some special event, but the stream is drying up. I’ve started to see snow capped mountains on the horizon, but it’s gonna get bad before we make it all the way over there. There’s another problem as well. Greys keep harassing us recently. They’re too afraid to actually attack us directly, but they’ll roar at us from a distance or throw small rocks at us. There’s nothing I can do about it either, because as you might have guessed, I ain’t exactly fast. I might be really strong, but I’m also heavy as f**k compared to those bastards. They can sprint away before I can do anything other than sling a few rocks back. Yeah, that’s right, sling. Not directly throw. Out of the numerous technological developments I’ve made recently, a ‘sling’ is one of the most useful. You basically just get a few leather straps and tie them to a pouch, then you put a rock inside. Swing it around a few times and let loose, sending the rock way farther than it otherwise would be able to reach by throwing, and with much less strain on the muscles. Aside from that, there’s also the atlatl or ‘spear-thrower’, which is a stick and rock, which use leverage to let you throw a javelin or arrow pretty far. Unfortunately, those orcish assholes usually stay out of range since the first few died. They’ll run over, throw a rock or two and flee, before reaching a safe distance and screaming all night. My harem is pregnant again and the stress is bad for the babies, probably. Either way, it’s really annoying the hell outta me. The kids and teenagers are getting so riled up, that I’m afraid they’ll be taunted into doing something stupid. Especially Rune, the girl with the runic tattoos all over her body. She was the one with her guts hanging out, that I somehow managed to suture up. I’m pretty sure the Matriarch used some kinda voodoo to heal her faster. She has magical powers, so she’s kinda like a Witch Doctor or Shaman. You would be amazed at how much miscellaneous information you need to research as an author... Even though I definitely couldn’t retain everything I learned over the years, I know enough to figure out the rest through trial and error. Basic tactics and strategies are obvious, but I’m talking more along the lines of how to manufacture firearms, create weapons, be a blacksmith, make all kinds of crazy s**t. I don’t plan on teaching the current Orcs much, but my kids, they’re a lot smarter. My oldest son and daughter are twins, born from Skullface. The two of them can almost walk and talk, though they’re still basically babies. Maybe in another ten or twenty days, they’ll be able to form coherent words like “Daddy” or “Mommy”? What do they look like? Well, as you would expect from cross-breeds, they ain’t exactly human or orcish. Although I was tempted to name my oldest son Michael, I didn’t. Mainly because if my stories are based on reality, then names actually have the power to change a person’s entire life and even make them turn out to be reincarnated assholes. I didn’t want my kids to end up murdering me because of some bullshit grudge that I don’t even know about yet. Since Michael was out of the question, I chose Adam. After my brother. And Skullface probably named him something from her own language too. For the girl, I picked Jane. I have or had a cousin that I was close with who went by that name. The two of them are green, but a paler shade than their mother. They were only a little bigger than normal human babies when they were born. Now they’re over three feet long and growing really fast. By the time they can walk, they’ll probably be four feet tall… I’m not sure what their ultimate height will reach or if there will be any deformities or problems. They’re hybrids after all. And they probably have my nanites coursing through their veins. Who knows what consequences that’ll bring? They’re really cute though. f**k, I never thought I’d think that human babies were cute, but… Oh wait, they ain’t humans. Okay, it’s fine then. That’s probably why. I always imagined that my kids would be mythical creatures, rather than nasty humans. As far as tusks go, they don’t even have teeth yet. They’re literally infants. Besides, that’s more of a secondary s****l characteristic that comes into play during puberty. I know this because since I’ve been here, I’ve been able to watch a few of the other kids become adolescents. The boys start getting really bulky, while the girls grow taller more quickly. Eventually though, the girls seem to stop growing at around two meters to seven feet tall. The tusks of the guys are much larger than the girls. In humans, it would be the lower canines. They protrude a bit from the lips and their mouths are huge. Speaking of which, Orcs suck at giving head. Just throwing that out there. I mean, aside from the fact that the tusks would gore your groin, even Scarface is pretty bad at it. Their teeth are too sharp, though their tongues are really long… The main thing is that I can’t teach them how to do it or why, so they usually bite me or struggle. I’d rather avoid having my d**k ripped off or chewed apart. They have way too many calluses and their hands are huge, so handjobs aren’t that great either. It’s basically just regular s*x or nothing. The only perk is that they’re f*****g massive compared to my body. If two of them are with me at the same time, I can be totally smothered in green flesh and muscle… Okay, enough about my fetishes and s*x life. Back to my babies. I tried to pick names that I didn’t use in my stories, or at least, rarely used them. Scarface had triplets: Rebecca, Jacob and Kara. In that order, from oldest to youngest. Then Black Hand had Conor and Caleb a few days later. After that, there were about ten days before the Matriarch gave birth to the other triplets: Lana, Ophelia and Briana. They all basically have the same features. The main differences were eye and hair color. Adam and Jane both have brown eyes, along with black hair. Rebecca, Jacob, Kara, Conor and Caleb all have blue eyes, with white hair. I know, it’s kinda weird thinking from the perspective of a human, but they’re only half human. Honestly, I wouldn’t even be able to remember all of their names if I didn’t write them down, along with their individual traits. It kinda feels like I’m writing the Genesis of this tribe though… In the beginning, there were regular green-skinned orcs. Then some random white human guy came along and f****d them, making smaller, but stronger hybrid babies! Hell, his first son was even named Adam! “The Orcheim Bible, by Michael Cinagra.” Has a nice ring to it. Wouldn’t be surprised if my descendants took these journals and edited our all the sarcasm, then marketed it as the Word of God. In order to start some generic religion… Then a few more factions will pop up and all of them will go to war, murdering, pillaging and raping each other because of minor differences in their manipulated philosophical views. Oh s**t, they’ll probably edit that last bit as some kinda prophesy or command from their Messiah and use it as an excuse to start a crusade or two. Hopefully my descendants will be smarter than humanity, or at the very least, will hate politics and religious bullshit as much as I do. Highly doubt it though. Whatever, this is stuff that’ll probably happen thousands of years after I leave this world, so it shouldn’t even affect me. For the time being, I need to focus on dealing with the most crucial problem that my tribe is going to face soon… Food shortage. We don’t have any livestock, no crops, no way to preserve anything regardless. If there’s a winter or drought, we’re dead. No, I’ll survive, but my kids won’t. Even if I have to m******e all the Greys and use them as food, I’ll do it. I won’t let my children starve. I would literally sacrifice my own flesh and blood to feed them if necessary. Ugh, now it’s really starting to sound Biblical.
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