The Poetic Meaning Behind the Eyes

ONe

When I was younger my family really never knew wealth. It was paycheck to paycheck, I think that's why I chose to go into law and business.I wanted to taste wealth and I did. The day I turned eighteen was the day I left my small run-down trailer in Portales, New Mexico. My Mom cried when the last bag was hulled into the back of my 95’ Toyota truck. My Dad never left the living room or even noticed that I had left. I grew up in probably the poorest college town in the U.S. My mom worked as a janitor for the university, and my dad, he drank beer and yelled at NFL players on the tv screen. I had three younger sisters who are 9, 12, and 3. We were all very close when we were young, but they were just as f*****g screwed as I was. So I got out, I worked my ass off and got a scholarship to the University of Washington that paid for everything, but food. I was so excited to get out of that dying town. Portales was like a black hole, if you didn’t turn around and hit warp speed you would be sucked in like so many others. I was ecstatic when I could no longer see the city limits from my rearview mirror.

When I got to Albuquerque, I stayed the night at an old friends house and left at 4:00 a.m and my flight left at 5:00 a.m. An early bird flight, no looking back. When I arrived 2 hours and 45 minutes later Washington was extremely confusing. I had never seen a city bigger than Lubbock, Texas and a building never bigger than that of a grain silo. Walking through Seattle trying to find a cab, was like going through a maze. Finally around 10:45 a.m I found the dorm that I would be staying in. I went up to the front desk and there she was. Rose, was the most beautiful human being I have ever seen. Her skin was pale like the fragile shell of an egg and she had dark brown eyes like the ground after rain. Her eyes contrasted fantastically with her skin tone and then there was her hair like autumn leaves Auburn with a hint of blonde. Her hair flowed over her sky blue button-up shirt. That's when I noticed that her last button was close to slipping, revealing her dark red bra that pushed up her cleavage. By the time I looked up at her freckled face, I had been staring for too long and didn't realize that she had asked me what room I was looking for. Her brown eyes peered at me, I shivered. Her thin eyebrows raised and I was able to mutter 306. She turned around to grab a key card and looked back at me, scanned it and handed it to me. Our fingers touched and I thought I would pass out. She walked out from behind the desk and lead the way to my room.

As we walked she explained the common areas and their hours. She showed me the gym and the kitchen that was on each floor. Her voice was smooth as silk and every word captivated me. We talked about majors and where we were from. Small talk, she stopped at my door and gave me the key, I couldn’t look up at her. “You have probably been the best listener I have ever had” She explained with a slightly flirtatious tone. I got the courage to look up at her, “ You say that to everyone, don’t you?” I said this a playfully as I could, I was extremely nervous. She gave me a questioning smile and told me if I needed anything to just call. She handed me the RA’s number and walked down the hallway. I closed the door and sat my stuff down. I was about 5 weeks early, most people didn’t start even getting their rooms until later in the summer. I was excited to see the city, however, I had become suddenly exhausted and laid on my uncovered mattress and fell asleep. The first dream I had was of my sister, mainly the two older ones, Maria and Lily. Lily was playing on the train track and got her shoelace stuck in the tracks, Maria couldn’t get it untied and a train raced towards them. Splat. Nothing but the shoe and possibly a foot remained, their blood slashed across the building adjacent to the tracks. I woke up covered in sweat and my head was thumping. I was so distraught I nearly didn't notice that another person was in my room. It was a short, built, young white guy. He had freckles all over his face and blonde curly hair that stuck out from his black cowboy hat. “ I saw you sleeping there and I didn’t want to wake you up, but you were all panting and shaking.” He said this in a very thick southern accent and I had a hard registering what he had said. I nodded and got up, I was very dizzy and out of breath. I stumbled my way to the bathroom and splashed cool water on my face. I looked up at the mirror and saw how tired and frazzled I looked. My eyes were bloodshot and had bags underneath them. I was also extremely pale. I came out of the bathroom and sat down on my bed, I looked at the Southerner unpacking his bags. “ What's your name?” I asked quietly so I didn't scare him. “ Travis, I’m from Savannah, Georgia. What's your's?” His accent was very sweet to listen to almost like the sweet tea during a hot summer day. “ David. I’m from New Mexico.” I was prepared and every New Mexican is to hear “ You're from Mexico!! Wow, your English is amazing!” Instead, I was surprised to hear he had been there before and loved the people and the food. He was majoring in Geography and Politics. He knew a quite a bit about where I was from and the state I used to call home.

Travis and I talked for hours in that tiny little room and laughed a lot. Later that evening we went down to the common area and played ping-pong, I was kicking his ass until Rose walked in. She had changed into a tight dress with a gold design on it. She looked amazing. My mouth dropped open and I missed his pass. He snorted violently and followed my gaze. “If you think she’s so wonderful to talk to her!” He shouted loud enough for every person in the common room to hear. She looked over at me and smiled. My mouth tried to smile by I couldn't close my jaw. She giggled and turned away. “Why the hell did you do that?” I said semi-quietly with a mocking tone. “ Because your jaw was so f*****g open you looked like a goddamn gator.” He laughed and took my paddle as we walked out of the common room. We walked in silence until we go to the elevator. Then I couldn't hold it in anymore, “She's so beautiful, she's a biology major. She's perfect.” He patted me on the shoulder and laughed. “ My girl is better, she's more beautiful than a sunset on the beach.” His soon to be fiance was 21 and was a journalist, her dark brown skin glowed in the yellow dress she was wearing in the picture he showed me. “ Isn't she beautiful, she's coming down in a month and I'm going to take her to dine at the top of the Space Needle and that's where I plan to pop the question.” He was so excited to marry this girl, it made me envious.

It had been a few days since I had spoken to my mother when I heard the news. Serial Killer Plagues Eastern New Mexico. My heart jumped out of my chest when I read the news that popped up on my laptop screen. I immediately called my mother to make sure she and the girls were safe. “Hello, mom?” “Yeah hi, yeah I’m great, no, no everything's fine” “Mom, have you heard any news about this serial killer?” “Yeah, no, I'm not making it up” “Mom- mom- just hand the phone to Maria.” Maria then told me the serial killer had been targeting college-age women throughout their area, and that her school was on lockdown for 3 hours because someone had tried to get in. She said that she was scared for her and the two others. “How's dad treating you?” that question slide into my mind when she said scared. “Well, Ummm, you know he's just watching baseball.” That phrase was code for, horrible. He was an abusive man with no prospect of anything and for years I have begged my mother to divorce the asshole, but she never would. We said our goodbyes, and I hung up. I sat on the corner of my bed for a while just staring out the window at the rain. Finally, Travis came in and woke me out of my trance. He stopped before reaching his bed and stared at me as I stared back at him. “You okay?” He said in his sweet tea voice. “Umm, yeah. There’s just some stuff going on back home-”. Before I could finish my sentence I was cut off because he already knew. “ The serial killer? I heard about that today. Is your family alright?” When he was nervous he spoke faster which made it even more difficult to decide what he had said. “ Yeah, yeah everybody is fine.” I lied, I have never been a very open person when has come to my home life. We sat and drank some beer he had gotten from a friend and played Left 4 Dead in the common room. We had to put the beer in a soda bottle since I was 18 and he was only 20. We did that until midnight when he was so drunk he could no longer remember which button did what. When we went back to our dorm he passed out immediately, I drank 2 cups of coffee and went for a walk outside.

It was maybe 2 am and lightly raining, a chill ran down my spine and the breeze picked up. Serial Killer Plagues Eastern New Mexico. That article title ran through my mind until the sun began to rise. I walked down to the fountain on campus and watched the sunrise. As I walked up a bench in my damp jacket, Rose ran into me. Not like a hello, like she jogged into me. I almost fell over at I saw her falling backward I grabbed her hand so she wouldn't fall. “What the hell are you doing out here at six o’clock in the morning?” She almost yelled this with an upset tone, which brought my happiness to see her down. “ I'm watching the sunrise, I could ask the same question?” I knew the answer the question I asked, but I just wanted to hear her voice. “Oh, uh, sorry I, uh, yelled.” She was nervous all of the sudden. “ I'm jogging, obviously.” At that moment I realized she was still suspended in the air and that was why she was nervous. I lifted her up all the way and apologized. We both sat down on the bench and watched the sunrise together. “ You must miss the sky where you're from.” She said this as she touched her water bottle to her lips. “Oh, uh, somewhat. The sunsets were amazing, but they weren't worth staying in New Mexico for.” She looked over at me questioningly, I said too much and now I had to explain. “Why?” Such a simple question filled with so much meaning. I explained what it was like to live in a run-down town and home. She listened very carefully as I explained the dull life that was my childhood. We walked back to the dorm talking on and off. As I opened the double doors for her she turned around quickly and muttered quickly, “ I actually had a fun time, but maybe next time we can run into each other at a nice restaurant?” Is she asking me on a date? The thought was so loud in my mind that I almost said it. “ Yeah, I would like that too. I'll call you and then we can see.” I tried to state it confidently, but it must have come out otherwise because she giggled and agreed. When I got up to the room Travis was still passed out, and never realized I left. I passed out on my bed.

My dreams were so clustered and confusing, but I did remember one thing. They were all about death. My mother dieing, my sisters dieing, even me. One stood out from the rest, a young blonde woman in a restaurant. There was little in the background as I observed the woman. She was talking about her calculus class and her roommates. I couldn't tell who she was talking too, but I knew it was a man. She rattled on and on until the couple left. The man was driving now with the young woman in the car. She smiled as they listened to music, she pointed at a street. However, the car continued on, the girls smile faded and panic grew in her eyes. She again pointed at another street, I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but it looked like she was trying to say “Here, is fine thanks for dinner.” But the man kept driving, he looked at her and laughed. She giggled nervously as the car continued. They arrived on the outskirts of Portales at a run-down home. She got out of the car and looked around. “I just thought we could have some fun at my place since you have roommates.” The man’s voice was extremely persuading and almost comforting. She sighed in relief as they walked up to the porch, she sucked on his neck as he unlocked the door. Now they were inside, in a bedroom she was undressing as the man laid out on the bed watching her. She crawled on top of him and took his shirt off, he flipped her underneath him and slit her throat. She bled out slowly covering the blue bedding in dark red. The man immediately got up and dragged the bleeding girl across the living room. She twitched maybe once. He laid her on a plastic table cover and turned around. All I could see where her lifeless eyes and her breast covered in her own blood. He turned back to the body in medical gear and began to dissect her. He started with the Y-incision on her chest and cut her rips. Taking precise care. He removed her heart, her eyes, and her tongue. Then carefully sealed her back up as if hadn’t just defiled her body and wrapped her in the plastic. The last part of the dream was the naked bloody girl hanging from her hand from a tree branch.

I woke up with a sudden stir and almost screamed. My clock flashed 11:00 a.m at me as I stared at it with a headache. I sat up slowly and my head began to pound harder. Travis left a note on my bedside table telling me he went out to get some groceries. When the Excedrin finally kicked in it was 12:00 and I took a shower. In the shower, all I could think about was the girl hanging from a tree. I got out and sat in my towel for about 20 minutes until someone knocked on the door. I opened it expecting Travis, instead, it was Rose. I almost dropped my towel when I saw her. “ Yes?” I said struggling to keep my towel up. She looked at me giggling a little, “ Tonight's game night if you and Travis want to come by the common room.” I had barely noticed how much time had passed since I had been in Seattle, about two weeks had gone by and I hadn't even noticed. “ Are you going to be there?” I asked genuinely curious. “ Yes, but maybe halfway through we can ditch and go watch the sunset?” She playfully whispered the second part of her sentence. After I agreed and she had left I finally let my towel dropped and jumped around the room in excitement. I got dressed and went down to Pike Place Market. While at the market I browsed over many good, but I kept coming back to the flower stands at the entrance. I bought some baked good and a bouquet of pink and orange tulips mixed with white roses. When 4 o'clock rolled around I was getting ready for the evening, making myself look much better than last time. Rose was in a dark blue button up dress with a skinny brown belt around her waist, which elevated the fact that she had hips. About twenty minutes into the game night I began to get anxious. Finally, an hour passed and I was about to pass out from anxiety. I saw her get up and look at me, I excused myself from the game and met her outside the common room. “ You look amazing.” When I said it I knew it sounded sincere because she blushed slightly. We went up to my room and I grabbed the flowers I had gotten her earlier and the baked goods. As the sunset over the lake where we were sitting, she kissed me and I kissed her. We laid down in the grass me holding her on my chest.

A month had passed since the sunset and Rose and I were becoming more serious. A month had also passed since I had talked to my family. I had nearly forgotten the fact that there was a serial killer still roaming around my hometown. A month since the dream, my last dream. I decided to check the news for Portales out of worry. The police had found two new bodies, one was younger than college age around 14. The other was mid-college and blonde. Blonde. The girl was blonde, I looked at their identification photos, the blonde girl was nearly identical to the one in my dream. I was shocked, mostly scared. I checked the dates that the blonde girl's body was found. It was before my dream, which reassured that I might I have read about it and forgot. The younger girl's name was Kayla, she had dark brown hair and looked extremely familiar. I called my sister to see if she knew the girl. “ Hey, Boog.” Boog was the nickname she got from me when I was about seven and she was a year and smeared a booger on my arm. “I know you hate the nickname, how have you been?” Her voice cracked when she answered, “ I'm good and you?” She was immediately trying to change the subject. “Boog? You don't sound too good.” “Don't lie, I know when you're upset.” “Maria Rose tell me what's going on.” Her voice cracked and she began to cry, as I suspected I had seen that girl before because she was a friend of Maria's. She explained that the girl, who I forgot was named Natalie, had gone to a college party and got drunk. Maria begged her not to go since it was so dangerous. Natalie went anyways, got drunk, went home with a guy, and wasn't seen until that morning when she was found hanging from the Cub building. When she stopped crying she told me that she was on the honor roll for the semester. I cheered her up and told her that I would call again soon. I lied, I barely ever call home.

The serial killer was distracting me from everything, even Rose. She had come up to my room when Travis was out, in lingerie and I had to force myself into the mood. As we laid on my bed, her petting my bare chest I told her what had been going on. With a hint of worry in her eyes, she looked at me as I explained and apologized for my distance. “ David, I know that stuff has been going on. It's okay.” She kissed my cheek and sat on top of me. I have been so worried about school and this serial killer that I had forgotten how lucky I was. Rose sat there staring at me and I ran my hand down her shoulder over her arm and then her leg. She was so soft, just like her personality. When she left I sat there staring at the ceiling, waiting for Travis to get back. Travis was always busy, “ Oh, I have a seminar tonight” or “Sorry man, I'm drowning in homework”. I haven't actually spent time with him in about 3 weeks. My boredom pushed me to my laptop, I had an English assignment that I opened and started to work on. Poetry, great. I began to read the lesson on the significance of body parts in poetry. The Poetic Meaning Behind the Eyes. That's when it clicked. The serial killer did what happened in my dream. He only took three things, the eyes, the heart, and the tongue. They all had meaning, I wonder if the police department had thought of that by now. I began to read more, eyes were the gateway to the soul. Shivers spilled down my spine even though it was warm in my room.

A few more weeks had passed when I got a call from my best friend in high school. I missed it when I was in class, and the voicemail went something like this, “ Hey man, how have you been? It's lonely out here without you, the new chicks at Eastern are f*****g hot! Call me back man, I want to know how you’re doing.” It ended like that like he was rushing. Sam was an English major at Eastern New Mexico University. He loved Portales, head quarterback, president of the student council, president of the student government, and head of the speech club. He had scholarships for almost all the ivy league schools and state schools. I remember the day before I left Portales we climbed the huge grain silo, in Clovis and drank beer and talked. “Why aren’t you leaving this place? You have so much opportunity. Harvard wants you, man.” “ Why are you leaving? You feel like you're needed somewhere else, that you could grow elsewhere. Yes?” I nodded. “ That’s why I’m staying, man, I’m going to make this town into a better place. I’m going to get its name on the map.” That was all I could remember. I couldn't decide if I would call him back or not. It had almost a 2 months since I had even seen him or talked to him, and I didn’t feel like updating him on every aspect of my life. A few days passed and I decided to call. The phone rang three times before it was answered. “Hello?” his voice had become less cheerful, suspicious and questioning. “ Sammy my man!” I faked my enthusiasm. “ How have you been man, you sound pretty down. How's Ash?” “ Sam?” “Hello, Sam?” “ Oh, Hi man. Sorry, my phone has been messing up. How have you been? Tell me about Seattle.” Our conversation went on like that for around two hours.

About two weeks after that conversation I got the call. The call that would change my life. Maria was found hanging from the top of the music building. I shut down. I didn’t leave my room for three days, and I hadn't eaten in two days when Rose came up to check on me. I didn't tell her yet or anybody. “Oh my lord!” “David, I'm so sorry. I can I do anything? Do you want anything? Please talk to me.” She was genuinely concerned, but I couldn’t open my mouth. She sat beside me holding me as I began to break down. She bought two round-trip tickets to Albuquerque the next day. “ You can't come with me. It's dangerous down there. What if-” She stopped my rattling by placing her soft ivory index finger on my mouth. Then she kissed me “ I'm going, for you, I want to be there for you.” I hugged her and we plopped down on my bed. I just held her, I didn’t want to lose her too. We had been together for about three months and I had fallen for her completely. The next morning we got on our flight. I got more nervous the closer we got to New Mexico, when we landed I got the car since she bought the tickets and we drove for three hours. When we got there the sun was setting. She had fallen asleep just passed Santa Rosa. I pulled up to the hotel and checked into our room. I woke her up and she drowsily walked up to 202. She fell onto the bed and fell asleep, I called my mom. “Hi, Lily, can you hand the phone to mommy?” “Thanks, sweety.” I could hear Sarah, the youngest, crying in the background. “Hi, mom.” “I’m here” “Yeah we’re staying at the Super 8” “Our room is 202.” “ Yeah, we'll see you for breakfast.” She caught the "we" in that sentence. “ Yes, Rose is here with me.” Yes, she is excited to meet you too.” “No mom don't clean up.” “Mom-Mom-Mom, please.” I sighed as she hung up the phone.