What Love Isn’t

Chapter 15

I started wearing more makeup. Heavier foundation to cover the bruises. Concealer for the split lip. Powder to hide the fingerprints on my neck.

I got good at it. So good that no one noticed.

Or maybe they noticed and just didn't want to get involved.

Either way, I was alone.

James tried one more time.

He caught me in the hallway between classes, pulling me into an empty classroom before I could protest.

"Jules, please. Just listen to me for two minutes."

"I can't. Marcus will—"

"f**k Marcus." His voice was fierce, desperate. "Jules, you're disappearing. You're fading away right in front of me, and I can't just stand by and watch it happen."

"I'm fine—"

"Stop saying that! You're not fine. You're covered in bruises that you try to hide with makeup. You flinch every time someone touches you. You look terrified all the time." He took a step closer, his voice breaking. "Please. Let me help you."

I wanted to. God, I wanted to so badly. I wanted to collapse into his arms and tell him everything. Tell him about the hitting, the choking, the r**e. Tell him I was scared and alone and didn't know how to get out.

But I couldn't. Because if I told him, he'd try to help. And if he tried to help, Marcus would hurt him. Or worse.

"There's nothing to help with," I said, my voice hollow. "I love Marcus. He loves me. That's all there is to it."

"That's not love, Jules. Whatever he's doing to you, it's not love."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Then tell me I'm wrong. Look me in the eye and tell me he's never hurt you."

I opened my mouth, but the words wouldn't come. Because I couldn't lie to James. Not about this.

"That's what I thought." He reached out like he was going to touch my face, then dropped his hand. "When you're ready—when you're ready to leave him—I'll be here. No matter what. Okay?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

"I love you, Jules. I've always loved you. And I'm not going to give up on you."

Then he left, and I stood there in the empty classroom, crying silent tears that I couldn't afford to let anyone see.