Call Me Viccy

Chapter 4: To See or Not to See

*WARNING EXPLICIT LANGUAGE*  

My eyes slowly began to open. It was morning. Oh god, I hope I fall asleep too early. Huh? There was something on my forehead. I felt it. It was a sticky note.

You fell asleep at 2:07 am about 2 hours after we left the hospital

-Charlotte

Oh well, I guess I’m good. Aside from my fainting in the driveway. Wow, I’ve lost track of time. What day is it? I opened my computer. Saturday 10:37 am Well at least I got a little more than 8 hours of sleep. Where is everybody? Charlotte went upstairs last night so I’m assuming that she went into her room. Carter’s probably up there too, and Courtney… But where the hell is Daniel? He could be up there too but I’ve never been upstairs so I don’t know how many rooms are crammed up there. Nice they just left me here to rot. Speaking of Courtney earlier I wonder how she comes down to get food. Do they just bring it up to her? I got up from the couch and decided to investigate. I recognized something at the top of the stairs. It was a StairMaster. Oh, so that's how she gets down.  I went and looked under the stairs because I remember seeing a closet beside the bathroom last night. I found it. I opened the closet. Luckily it wasn’t locked for some reason, like in those horror movies where you open the closet and some paranormal being or some s**t pops out. I looked inside. It was kinda dark but not too much so I couldn't see it. There was a wheelchair inside. That must bee for Courtney. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. As I heard them coming down I don't know why but I was hoping that it was Charlotte. And it was, I jumped to the couch trying to not look suspicious. 

“What are you doing?”

“Oh um, nothing just chillin.”

“Um ok…”

“Hey, Charlotte?”

“What?”

“I just wanted to apologize for yesterday.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. why?”

“You really think that by apologizing that you’ll look like the bigger person here? Well, you don’t. Yesterday was just human interaction. Nothing to apologize for. And if you thought that I’m accepting this sad a** apology, well you thought wrong. We’re not gonna have one of those moments when we realize that we can tolerate each other. Ok, Goth Girl?!”

“Ok geez. You know every time I try to talk to you don’t have to feel so insulted by me.”

“Whatever.”

“Or maybe Charlotte, you’re threatened by me.”

“What?”

“Well from what I gather you're the middle child, so you already have no place in this household. And now I’m not only claiming your spot, but I’m making a name for it. And from what Carter told me when we first met you seem to like to talk about me a lot. So you’re just jealous that I’m not even related to your happy, merry, little family and I somehow have become the most loved person here.”

“Ok, first of all, I’m not jealous. If anything I feel sorry for you. Sorry that your own family is gone so now you have to ruin another. My family is already messed up. And I don’t need someone assuming our rights to society. We’re not rich nor famous. If anything the complete opposite. My dad is in piles and piles of debt, so with you being here is just another f**king mouth to feed. And everyone at CarCross hates my dad. He's gotten the most promotions there, so he’s taken basically everyone’s job at one point or another. And you wanna know how and why we’re in debt? Huh?! It’s because of my mom. MY STUPID MOTHER! Ah, who am I kidding I love my mom... Loved. And you wanna know why I no longer love my mom anymore, Victoria? It’s because she ruined us. She ruined the Rivers household name. She ruined our family. She ruined me! She went out and had an affair. And you wanna know what’s even worse?! The person she was having an affair with. Their name was Amelia. That’s right my mom’s a lesbian!!! And it ruined us!!! We all thought my dad wouldn’t care whether or not my mom was having an affair with a woman or a man. We thought he wasn’t like the rest of the world! Well, we were wrong. He kicked my mom out for being a lesbian! Can you believe that?! Because I sure can’t. My dad was so angry. He didn’t even care about the affair. If my mom had come out to dad and didn’t have an affair still, then he still would have kicked her out. And I’m worried that if my dad finds out everything, the secrets that we hold in this household...That he’ll kick us out too. Even my crippled sister. Everyone has secrets. Even the nicest people can hold the darkest ones. So don’t think for another second that my life is perfect. That it’s all unicorns and rainbows. You wanna know what happened after that? My mom felt so guilty that she stopped sleeping with women. She tried to turn herself straight, by having s*x with men. But nothing could fill that void. Nothing, Victoria. So she found a replacement. Drugs. Oxy. Cocaine. Herion. You name it. I’m pretty sure she’s taken every single f**king d**g on this s**thole planet. She’s OD’d 4 times.  4 F**KING TIMES!!! And every single time, I thought that she was dead. I kept on thinking to myself whether we should have Lilies or Daisies at her funeral because she loves them both. Then I thought why not just have both??!! WHY THE F**K NOT?! And right now my mom, the only person I need in my goddamn life, the one person I could ask “Are tampons uncomfortable?!”, the only person who could say “I love you Charlotte” and actually mean it, is out there taking drugs. And my dad doesn’t care he’s just moved on with his life. He’s even started dating. So Victoria think again about who’s family that you decide is perfect!”

Charlotte ran into the hallway that goes beyond the stairs and past the downstairs bathroom. I ran after her, just like at the hospital. But hopefully, this time won’t have the same effect that ends in me having a concussion, even if it is only minor. When I caught up to her. I took both of my hands and I held her in a tight embrace. Or I hugged her if you will. She took both of her hands and she held mine. I could feel her tears dripping down onto my hands. I didn’t mind though. 

“Charlotte, I’m sorry. I really mean it. I had no idea that all of this stuff was going on. I mean why would you tell me? You hate me enough. I understand why you never said anything. We’re not friends or anything and you probably don’t trust me with that kind of information. You’ll think that I’m gonna tell everyone your business. But I’m not like that. And you know we could be friends. If you wanted. You were there for me in the car on our way here when I was in shock about my dad. And now I’m here for you. Like you told me, you’re in pain and right now I’m your best option for help. So just accept my apology. Both of them. Please. It’ll be good for both of us to move on. We have two choices in my eyes. We can ignore each other and go our separate ways. Or we could maybe be friends. Hopefully one day best friends even. What do you say Charlotte? Truce?"

She looked at me with pitiful eyes. I could tell that she wanted to but couldn't for some reason.

"It's ok you think about it."

"No. I've made up my mind."

"And?"

"And I-"

Before she could say another word Carter came running down the stairs. His hair was all scruffled up and messy. You could just tell that he was a wild sleeper. I watched Charlotte as she quickly wiped her face to remove any proof that she was crying. 

"What the hell do you want Carter?"

"To see or not to see?"

"What?"

"Like Shakespeare's play, Hamlet. When the guy goes "To be or not to be" And right now I'm trying to decide if I saw you guys hug or not. If I did then that means I'll talk about. Especially in school. But if I didn't see it then that means I'll be busy on my date with your friend Olivia, Charlotte."

"Ugh, you saw that?"

Carter had a smug grin on his face.

"Fine, you didn't see that, Carter. *Groan* I gotta go call Olivia."

Charlotte ran upstairs to call her.

"You know that was one sick move on your part Carter... Nice job."

"Heh, thanks. So you cooking breakfast?"

"Why would I cook breakfast, I'm the guest?"

"Exactly. The guest always fixes the meal to show their gratitude."

I stared at him.

"Ok ok, I'm kidding. I guess I'm cooking since Scott's off today. There are some eggs in the fridge I could scramble up. There's bacon in the freezer too. Oh and there's some leftover pancake mix somewhere. I wonder if we have any blueberries? Or chocolate chips? Does that sound good to you, Victoria?"

"Yeah, sure."

Carter kept on mumbling to himself as he was setting up in the kitchen. The kitchen had a bar area with open space so that you could see the living room TV from here. I saw someone sitting on the could. They must have just sat there because I definitely would've heard them coming down. I recognized that dirty blonde with some salt and pepper in his head. It was Daniel. He must've been really quiet coming down. I walked over to him and decided to say good morning.