Good Riddance

Echoes of Yesterday.

Two weeks after meeting Peter, I found myself surrendering to his charms. As I burst into my shared room with Caroline, my best friend, after a night out with Peter, I blurted out, "We had s*x!" My voice quivered, betraying a tumultuous mix of guilt and defiance. Caroline shot up in bed, her eyes flaring with astonishment. "Gina, how could you?" she exclaimed in shock, struggling to reconcile the friend she thought she knew with the one who now stood before her.

I shrugged, attempting to downplay the situation. "It just happened, Caroline. He's charming, and I guess I wasn't thinking." But my excuse fell flat, and Caroline's skeptical gaze pierced through me like a dagger. "It just happened, Gina. Did he drug you? Did he r**e you?"she asked, her voice was steady and resolute, yet underscored with a hint of worry, like a steady hand guiding a trembling leaf." I scoffed, feeling a pang of indignation. "No, of course not. It was consensual", I responded as I collapsed on my bed without taking off my black sandals. “Caroline...” I attempted to justify my actions to Caroline, but the memories of Peter's kisses on my neck and lips lingered, haunting me with the reminder of how utterly helpless I had been against his charms. The tender touches that had left me breathless and wanting now taunted me, refusing to let me escape the truth of my own surrender. “He was so good... he was so irresistible...and I kinda like him...” I muttered, searching for the perfect words to describe the situation to her but trust Caroline to judge me, besides my justification sounded hollow even to my own ears.

When Caroline and I became roommates and best friends 3 years ago, she had convinced me to an allegiance of ‘no s*x before marriage’ and even though it had been difficult to follow through, I had done all I could to uphold it before Peter came my way.

“You know what’s annoying? You just met this Peter guy like two seconds ago! Where’s your dignity as a woman, Gina?” She narrowed her eyes, expressing her disappointment and disgust, and infuriated me. ”Okay, that’s it, Caroline. You have no freaking right to talk to me that way! It’s my body and I have every right to sleep with anyone I want to without your approval or permission! So stop it, girl... you aren’t even a virgin yourself, so stop this self-righteous act!” I yelled at her before realizing how far I had gone. "Wow! Are you for real? You really had to throw my r**e story at me to discredit my chastity? She said, and I could feel the pain in her voice. For someone who had narrated the story of how she was brutally r***d by robbers when she was 16, confiding and trusting me to never mock her with it, I went too low, and I felt a wave of shame wash over me. She didn't deserve it and all she wanted was for us to be treated with the uttermost love and respect from men. She grabbed her tote bag and dashed out of the room before I got the chance to take back my words.

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Jay dashed into the room and immediately enveloped me in a warm, comforting embrace. His masculine scent and gentle touch finally allowed me to surrender to my emotions that night. Tears streamed down my face as I let out a sob, overwhelmed by the weight of my situation. While I was relieved that Peter's death meant I was finally free from his shackles, I knew the days ahead would be challenging. With my first child due any moment, I was anxious about the pain of labor and the potential for postpartum depression. Moreover, as a new widow, I couldn't help but wonder if I could truly accept the ray of sunshine Jay has to offer me. Heck, he was even Peter’s friend! And then there was Peter's family to consider - no explanation would justify their son's sudden disappearance. The thought of it all exhausted me.

“Gloves... Vinegar... Baking soda... Towels... Bleach solution... Incense, Fragrance,” I whispered to myself as I gathered everything needed to make the living room spotless. Jay and Caroline carried Peter's body downstairs to the trunk of Jay's car. The seclusion of our well-fenced apartment ensured that there were no prying eyes. “Take off your clothes,” Jay instructed Caroline as they prepared to leave, pointing out the bloodstains on her yellow T-shirt - the same low-cut top that exposed her smooth and pale cleavage to lustful men, like Peter. Her pointed n*****s, visible beneath the plain fabric. “Let me get new T-shirts, and you both should wash your hands,” I said, pushing aside thoughts of her provocative outfit, a deliberate attempt to seduce my husband. I retreated into the closet and there, I found a bouquet, an apology card, and a paper bag containing beautiful dresses from my favorite store. “He was going to apologize again,” I whispered, recalling our earlier fight that morning, before my appointment with the optician. It had ended with him assaulting me, both physically and emotionally, a familiar pattern in our relationship.

I let out a sigh as I grabbed some T-shirts from the wardrobe. I immediately dashed out of the room before I allowed my emotions to override the task at hand.

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It was on a Saturday morning that I encountered the same man from my supervisor's office again. "Ine Kedu! This Ugwu doesn't look fresh today!" his husky voice boomed from behind me, speaking Igbo, and I recognized the voice. I turned around to confirm the owner of the voice, and there he was, looking as handsome as I remembered. He caught my gaze and flashed a smile. "Who do we have here? My little miss apathy!" he whispered, making me blush. I was surprised he remembered me, but it had only been four days since our last encounter. The woman selling the pumpkin leaves responded to his complaint in pidgin English, "My customer, abeg no vex. Na the weather! The sun don beat the ugwu, but no worry, I get fresh ones here! Make I attend to my sister finish.” she said as she continued chopping the vegetables I had purchased.

"I didn't get your name the other day," he said, his eyes fixed on the pound of flesh on my chest. "Regina," I replied timidly, adjusting my pink spaghetti blouse to cover myself. He chuckled at my actions and introduced himself, "My name is Peter. It’s nice to see you again. Fate is probably bringing us together. Do you live around here? I can give you a ride if you'd like. My car is parked nearby. I only wanted to get some ingredients for the Egusi soup I plan to make later today.”

Coincidentally, I was also planning to make Egusi soup, but I hesitated to share this. "Oh, Egusi... wow... That's impressive! Well, you can drop me off, I live around…” I stammered. “Great! Then maybe I can wait at yours to eat whatever you are making! I don’t think I will need to make any food again today!” He joked, but I blurted out before thinking twice, “Oh yes! I am making Egusi soup, so there will be no need for you to make yours!” he smirked, noticing how smitten I was with him.

I made the introductions, my words feeling a bit forced as I said, "Caroline, this is Peter, my new friend. Peter, this is Caroline, my roommate." Peter's friendly smile and wave were met with a frosty stare from Caroline, her expression a clear indication that she wasn't pleased with this unexpected encounter. I knew my friend's prickly demeanor all too well - she was fiercely protective of herself and her space. "I'll just head out, I will be at Deborah’s room upstairs" She said curtly, her voice dripping with irritation, before dashing out, the door slamming shut behind her with a resounding crash. And as I turned back to Peter, I couldn't shake off the feeling that Caroline's sudden departure was only the beginning of a storm that was about to unleash...