Alpha Caspian

chapter 11

Lily

The moment Caspian disappeared from my sight, I released the breath I didn't even realize I had been holding. My heart was still beating wildly from the way he had caught me, and no matter how many times I told myself that he didn't want me, my body refused to listen. His touch still lingered around my waist, almost like I could feel the warmth of his hands through the fabric of my dress.

“Are you planning to stare at the place where he disappeared all day?” Meredith asked, and I immediately turned towards her.

A mischievous smile was already playing on her lips while Athea stood beside her trying to hide her laughter.

“I wasn't staring,” I protested, feeling the warmth rush to my cheeks.

“You were definitely staring,” Meredith replied without hesitation.

“And don't worry, I won't tell anyone that our terrifying Alpha almost forgot how to breathe while holding you.” My eyes widened.

“He didn't.”

“He did,” Athea added with a small laugh.

“For someone who claims he doesn't want his mate, he certainly looks like a man who has trouble keeping his distance from her.”

I lowered my gaze, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the conversation.

“He has made his decision. I don't want to misunderstand his actions or start hoping for something that may never happen.”

Meredith's teasing expression softened when she heard my words. She walked closer and gently touched my arm.

“Lily, I am not asking you to hope for anything. Just don't force yourself to stop feeling something because he is afraid of his own feelings.”

I looked at her, but before I could answer, she grabbed my hand again and pulled me towards the training grounds.

“Now come on. You wanted to see how our warriors train, didn't you?”

I nodded, allowing myself to be dragged along. We stopped near the edge of the training field where several warriors were sparring with one another. The sound of fists meeting bodies and swords clashing filled the air, and for some reason, something inside me reacted to it.

My body felt strangely familiar with the movements.

I watched one of the warriors dodge an attack before sweeping his opponent's legs from underneath him. Without thinking, I whispered, “He is leaving his left side open.”

“What?”Meredith turned towards me as she asked. I pointed towards the warrior.

“When he attacks from that angle, his left side becomes exposed. If the other person notices it, he can take him down.”

The warrior suddenly made the exact mistake I had pointed out and ended up on the ground. Meredith's mouth fell open. Athea stared at me. I blinked.

“I... I don't know how I knew that.”

Damien, who had been watching the warriors from a distance, approached us with a curious expression.

“How did you notice that?” he asked, looking ate curiously.

“I don't know,” I admitted. “It just looked wrong.”

Damien looked towards the warrior before looking back at me.

“Maybe your body remembers things your mind doesn't.”

The words made my heart ache. Maybe he was right.

There had to be something inside me that still remembered the person I used to be.

“Would you like to try?” Damien asked.

I immediately shook my head. “I don't think that's a good idea.”

“Why not?” Meredith asked.

“Because I have no idea if I can even fight.”

Damien smiled. “You don't have to fight anyone. Just show me what you know.”

I hesitated before finally nodding. He picked up a wooden training dagger and handed it to me. The moment my fingers wrapped around the handle, something strange happened.

My grip changed automatically. I shifted my feet. My shoulders relaxed.

I didn't know what I was doing, yet my body seemed to know exactly where it needed to be. Damien's expression changed.

“Interesting.”

“What?” I asked.

“You've held a weapon before," he answered. I looked down at the dagger.

“I don't remember.”

“You don't have to remember,” he said. “Your body does.”

Before I could say anything else, a deep voice came from behind us.

“That's enough.”

My heart skipped. I turned around and found Caspian standing several feet away.

His eyes were fixed on the wooden dagger in my hand.

“You're still recovering,” he said.

“I wasn't fighting,” I replied.

“I know.”

His gaze piercing moved towards Damien as he shoot daggers through his eyes.

“Then why is she holding a weapon?” he asked.

“She showed an unusual instinct.” Damien replied with a shrug. Caspian's jaw tightened.

“She's not training.” I frowned.

“You don't get to decide everything for me.”

The moment those words left my mouth, the entire area seemed to go silent. Caspian slowly looked at me.

His expression wasn't angry. It was something else. Something I couldn't understand.

“You're right,” he said quietly. I blinked.

He walked towards me and stopped directly in front of me.

“I don't.” His voice softened.

“But you were injured only a few days ago. Until Maria says you're completely recovered, I don't want you pushing your body.” I stared at him as if he had grown a second head

“Why do you care?” i asked without hesitation.

His eyes flickered..For a moment, I thought he would answer. Instead, he reached for my hand.

My breath caught when his fingers gently wrapped around my wrist.

“You're under my protection,” he said.

His thumb brushed against my skin without him seeming to notice.

“And I don't want to see you hurt again," he said looking into my eyes. My heart thudded against my chest.

He looked down at our hands as if he had only just realized he was touching me. His fingers loosened. But he didn't immediately let go. Neither did I.

For a few seconds, we simply stood there. Then his eyes lifted to mine.

“Lily.”

The way he said my name made something inside me flutter.

“Yes?”

His gaze dropped to my lips for the briefest moment before returning to my eyes.

“Don't make me worry about you," he said and I swallowed.

“I didn't know you worried about me.” His expression changed.

“I shouldn't," he said immediately.

“Then why do you?” i asked, i know i should not, but i don't care. Silence. His jaw tightened before he spoke.

“I don't know," saying that he released my wrist and stepped back.

“Just be careful," he said. Then he turned around and walked away.

I watched him leave again, but this time I didn't feel the same emptiness. There was something between us. Something neither of us was ready to name.

“Lily.” Meredith's voice made me turn.

She was staring at me with the biggest grin I had ever seen.

“What?” i asked,

“Nothing," She shook her head.

“Stop doing that," i said.

“Doing what?” she asked innocently.

“Looking at me like that.” She laughed.

“I can't help it. You two are adorable.” I groaned.

“He rejected me.” i reasoned.

“And yet he almost broke Damien's neck because you were holding a wooden dagger.”

“That was not what happened.” Athea raised an eyebrow.

“It looked exactly like that.” she joined in.

I couldn't stop the smile that appeared on my lips.

For the first time, talking about Caspian didn't feel like a wound.

Maybe because I was slowly learning that I didn't have to chase him.

If he wanted to come closer..He would.

The rest of the afternoon passed more peacefully than I expected. Meredith showed me the gardens, the library and the small village surrounding the pack house. She introduced me to several people, and each person welcomed me as if I had been part of their pack for years.

By the time we returned to the mansion, the sun had already begun to set.

“You should rest,” Athea said.

“I will.”

Meredith gave me a hug before leaving.

“Dinner is at eight. Don't disappear.”

“I won't.”

They left me standing outside my room. I entered and closed the door behind me before leaning against it.

A smile slowly appeared on my lips. I had spent so long feeling like I didn't belong anywhere. Yet today...

I laughed, I walked through the gardens, I trained for a few minutes, and I had made friends.

For the first time since waking up without my memories, I felt like perhaps losing my past didn't mean I had lost everything.

I walked towards the window and looked outside. The moon was already beginning to rise. A strange warmth spread through my chest.

“Maya,” I whispered. Nothing. I sighed.

“I wish you were here.” I closed my eyes, trying to reach for her again.

For a brief second, I felt something. A faint warmth. Then it disappeared. My eyes snapped open.

“Maya?” Silence again. Maybe I had imagined it. I turned around and froze. Caspian was standing outside my open door. My heart immediately began beating faster.

“Alpha?” He stepped inside slowly.

“Why aren't you at dinner?” he asked.

“I thought you wanted me to rest.”

“I said you should rest. I didn't say you had to skip dinner.” I smiled faintly.

“I wasn't hungry.” His eyes narrowed.

“You didn't eat lunch either.”

“How do you know that?” He looked away as if he was embarrassed.

“I was told," he said.

Something about his answer made me suspicious.

“Who told you?”He ignored my question.

“Come downstairs.”

“I don't want to.”

“Lily," he said. His voice carried a warning. I crossed my arms.

“You can't order me around anymore," goddess forbid i don't know from where i have this courage. His lips twitched.

“I am still your Alpha," he said as a matter of fact.

“And you rejected me," the words left myoutb before i could stop them.

The words immediately wiped the amusement from his face.

I regretted saying them the moment I saw his expression.

“I didn't mean—”

“I know.”

He looked away for a moment before sighing.

“I shouldn't have rejected you the way I did.”

My heart stopped. I stared at him.

“What?” I asked. He took a step closer.

“I said I can't accept the bond," he said, invading my personal space.

“You never said you didn't care about me.” His eyes met mine.

“I don't know what I feel.” The honesty in his voice surprised me.

He walked closer until only a small distance remained between us.

“But I know one thing.”

“What?” i asked in annoyence.His eyes softened.

“When you're hurt, I feel like something is tearing me apart.” My breath caught.

“When you're scared, I want to be the person you run to.” He paused.

“And when another man gets too close to you...”

His jaw tightened as if he was having his own battle before he spoke again.

“I don't like it.”

A tiny smile tugged at my lips.

“You sound jealous.”

“I am not.”

“You are.”

He looked at me for a few seconds before a faint smile appeared.

“Maybe.”

My heart fluttered. He lifted his hand slowly, giving me enough time to move away. I didn't.

His fingers brushed a strand of hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear.

The touch was so gentle that I forgot how to breathe.

“You should eat,” he whispered.

“Why?”

“Because I don't want my mate starving herself.”

The word mate sounded different coming from him. Not cold. Not angry. Almost tender. I looked into his eyes.

“And if I don't?” His lips curved into a faint smile.

“Then I'll have to stay here until you do.” I laughed softly.

“You're impossible.”

“And you're stubborn.”

For a moment, neither of us moved. His hand was still against my cheek. His eyes dropped to my lips. My heart raced. He leaned closer. Slowly. Carefully.

Until his forehead rested against mine. Neither of us spoke. I could feel his breath against my lips. Then he closed his eyes.

“I shouldn't do this,” he whispered. I opened mine.

“Then don't," his words broke something inside.

He pulled back slightly. The pain in his eyes surprised me.

“I don't know how to stay away from you.”

My heart shattered and healed at the same time.

Before I could answer, a loud knock echoed through the room. Caspian immediately stepped away.

“Alpha!”

Damien's urgent voice came from outside.

“What is it?” Caspian asked, his expression turning cold again.

“We just received word from the border.”

“Several rogue packs have been spotted moving toward our territory.”

Caspian's entire body stiffened.

“How many?” he asked, his jaw clenched.

“Too many to be ordinary rogues.”

He glanced at me. For the first time since entering my room. I saw fear in his eyes.

“Stay here, Lily.” He turned towards the door.

“Caspian," i called.

He stopped. I didn't know why, but I reached for his hand. His fingers immediately closed around mine.

“I'll come back,” he whispered.

Then he squeezed my hand once before letting go. He walked out of the room.

I stood there watching the door close behind him, my heart still beating wildly.

But this time. I wasn't afraid of being left behind. Because for the first time. I believed he would come back.