I wished

12

Switching from having a room alone to sharing one isn’t something that I would prefer.  Especially if your roommate keeps staring at you with wide creepy eyes.  Eyes that are trying to unravel every single secret that I have. I tried some small talk with her, but she always looked down, as if she’s trying very hard to overcome her shyness. I wasn't a nun yet and there was stuff that I still had to learn, but everyday I walked past scattered nuns, who would stop talking when they saw me, and continue their conversation in murmured voices.  I tried to keep my head low and ignore my habit of keeping my head up high and owning the school halls even though I found myself in a convent everyday. Everyday my ugly black shoes click hard on the wooden floor.

“Morning Charlie.” A hyper girl who always wore two pigtails, never missed an opportunity to greet me.  I tried my best to be friendly so I learned that her name is Sunny.

“Hi Sunny.” I said with a fake toothy grin.

“How’d you sleep?”

“Great, thank you.” I frequently lied about it as I laid awake most of the nights.

“I wish I slept great.” I frowned at her words.

“You don’t sleep well?”

She shakes her head and looks down with a sad look on her face, “I miss my little sister.”

I bit my lips, thinking about Jane and how I somewhat miss her but also feel anger towards her and how she just sent me here, without even giving me a choice.

“Why are you here?”  I didn’t know if it was an appropriate question but I couldn’t hold it back.

Sunny took a sharp breath, “I want to live my life for God.”

Her words didn’t match the expressions on her face but I ignored it and stood behind the line of girls, waiting for their food to be dished up.  When I was in front I gently grabbed a white plate and held my plate to a nun wearing a white apron over her habit.  A habit is the black cloaks nuns wear. Luckily I don’t have to wear one yet.

“Charlie.” She greets me and dish a big glob of saucy beans in my plate.  I try not to make a face at it as I take a step to the next nun with stern brown eyes.  She dishes a blunt scoop of mixed vegetables.  I never liked vegetables,but seeing this is the only food I’ll be getting I’ll have to start liking them.

The next nun has an angelic face with big light green eyes. Strands of fair hair falls in her face and she makes a quick movement to put it under her habit.

“Hi, Charlie.” Her smile is genuine as she places a dark red apple in my open fingers, holding the plate.

“Thank you.” I utter and walk towards a wooden table, that’s more likely to be in a public park than in a Convent.

Sunny sits in front of me, ogling at the food on her plate and I almost laugh.  It’s going to take a long time to get used to this place.

“So what was your life like before this?” Sunny looks around, the tall and delicate walls.

“Normal.” I smirk.

“I was r***d at the age of four by my dad.”

I widen my eyes, feeling a sickening feeling in my heart.  How can she be so open in her life about something so horrible.

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s why I’m here.  I want to close all those filthy doors and start over in the right direction.”

I nod, trying to have an understanding expresion on my face and not ask any more questions.  Girls that I’ve noticed are in my class walking past me, their eyes unable to look away.

“You’re the new fresh meat here.” Sunny says, noticing the girls staring at me.

“Shouldn’t it be different here?” I ask, not seeing the difference between this and a normal school.

“Those girls aren’t nuns yet.  Parents send them a year because they did something very wrong, so they want them to replenish their sins and stuff.”

I bite my lips, thinking of Jane sending me here for only making out with Hunter.  Aren’t that what teenagers do. She severely changed overnight and I don’t know why.  I put my faith in that she didn’t think straight and that she will come and get me soon.

“How long have they been here?”

“A few months.” Sunny lifts her shoulders, not being entirely sure.

“How long have you been here?”

“Three weeks.” A week more than I have been here.

“You enjoy it here.” Normally this type of question would be sarcastic but given the place we're in, I make sure that the tone I’m speaking in isn’t sarcastic.

“It’s better than where I was.” Sadness fills her aura and I purse my lips, feeling stupid that I asked the question.

I look at a group of nuns walking past us with a fluent stride.  Their hair is covered by black habit cloaks but like all the nuns I’ve seen here, I’ve noticed how beautiful they all are.

“They’re all so beautiful.” I say accidently say, thinking aloud.

“Right.” Sunny emphasises. Her eyes travel behind the nuns with a look of longing on her face, “I swear this is more like a beauty paegant than a convent.”

I laugh and nod.  They all have this kind off pure beauty.  Like everywhere there are beautiful people but sometimes there’s just those outstanding beauties that’ll make you turn your neck and say, ‘wow, now that’s beauty.’

“You’re just like them.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re very beautiful.” She compliments and I give her a big quirky smile.

“You too.”

I stuff my mouth full with carrots and beetroot, chewing with long teeth and suddenly Sunny starts to laught.

“You don’t like vegetables?”

“Not at all.” I speak with my mouth full and force myself to swallow.

“Just think that if you’re not going to eat it, someone you love will die.”

I chuckle at her theorie on how to eat it vegetables.

“Is that how you eat it?”

She nods, putting a sppon of baked beans in her mouth, “I do it when I’m training as well.”

“That’s a good way to put it.”

I jerk my head back when I sudden bell starts ringing and a nun swiftly walks swinging a hand bell in her hands.  I sigh. Time for school.  Unlike my old school where I had to shift to many different classes, I only get class in one room with the same teacher.  I’m not complaining of the teacher as she does a very hard job.

Me and Sunny walks next to each other behind a long well structured wooden table.  I favor the sun seeping though the windows, almost making me too lazy to work.

I ignore other girls sitting next and in front of me with evil expressions on their faces.  Maybe I’m just imagining things.

“Hi.” I say to the one girl with strawberry blonde hair and a smirk on her face. Sunny looks suprised.

“Oh, hi.” The girl frowns, as if she doesn’t know what to do.

“I’m Charlie.” I stick out my hand to her and she light shakes it.

“Isn’t Charlie like a man’s name.” The girl in front turns.  Her hair is straight and brown.

“It could be both.” I lift my shoulders.

“Weird.” She mutters, making me loose my cool.

“You’re weird.” I muter.

“What did you say?” This time she stands from the chair and stalks towards me with angry eyes.

“Are you deaf and weird?” Irritation floods out of my mouth.

“You’re dead.” she luanches at me with her big hands and before I can dodge her, her hands are wrapped around my neck.

“Let go of me you psycho.” I gasp and yelp at the same time.

She squeezes harder and I hear Sunny yelling for her to stop and other girls gasp until her grip suddenly loosens and I see the teacher holding her arm with a tight grip.

“What are you doing, Lilly.” Lilly.  That’s her name.  I rub my throat, trying to soothe the  uncomfortable feeling errupting.

“Ouch.” Lilly yells and I see the teacher’s nails digging into her arms as she violently drag her away.  Wow, that woman has strengh.

“Sorry, Charlie.” The strawberry haird girl says, seeming guilty.

“It’s fine, it wasn’t you.” I shake her off.

“That Lilly girl seriously have some anger issues.” I comment only for Sunny to hear.

Sunny grits her teeth and looks ahead as if she’s completely scared.

“Are you okay?”

She shakes her head, “What’s teacher going to do to Lily?”

“What do you mean?” I raise my eyebrows, motivating her to continue speaking.

“This one time,” her voice is shaky, “I waswhere I shouldn’t have been. And,” a small tear escapes her eyes.

“And?”

“I saw them doing stuff to a girl.”

I perk my ears, eager to hear the outcome of the story.

“What stuff?”

“Almost like torturing.”

I hitch a breath.  Torturing.  I read Sunny’s expression to make sure she’s not just making this up. In what Convent will they torture a girl? And in what way?

“Let’s go.” I stand from my chair and Sunny looks at me surprised, as if she thought I would laugh it off and say ‘She deserves it.’

She stands with me and we escape the room, ignoring the girls staring at us.

“Where?”

“Are you sure?” she asks scaredness laced in her voice.

I nod, staying positive.

Sunny hesitantly steps to the left and wait for me to follow her. We keep our eyes viligent, hoping not to crash into someone we shouldn’t.

We walk passed a class containing younger girls, who’s eyses lights up when they see us.  I smile at them, before I completely pass their door.

Sunny stops infront of the church hall and whisper a small ‘okay.’

I scan the nuns sitting clogged in the pew’s. (chairs)  They all are listening intendly at what the Reverend mother is saying, who seems way to young for me to be placed as the head of the house.

“You see that door.” Sunny points at an old wooden door, carved with flowes and decorated with black steel.  I nod at her.

“That’s where it happened.”

I gulp my gathered spit and try to think of a solution to get there without the nuns seeing us.

“What if you pretend that there’s another fight in class, make them all follow you and then I’ll quickly go in.”

“What if only one nun comes.”

“Make it serious, like pretend the whole class is fighting.  And if they say you’re lying you can point out that there actually was a fight.”

“Okay, but will you be okay.” She asked concern lacing her voice.

I didn’t think out throughfully, so I’m not feeling any kind of fear yet, “Sure.”

She flaps her hands in front of her face as if to wind of her fear befrore she runs into the hall.  I quickly push myself hard against a pillar, hoping no one will notice me.

“Help please, there’s a fight in my class,” I almost laugh at how panicked her voice sounds, “Everyone, blood.”

I hear shuffling noises and steps running past me.  I wait severl seconds before I escape from the pillar and poke my head inside the church hall.  It’s empty. Sunny did a great job.  I enetr the hall and swifty walk towards the door she pointed out.

A strange smell invades my nose.  It doesn’t smell good or bad, but it smells very strong.  Almost like a strong mutton smell, mixed with metal.

I wipe the beads of sweat forming  betwen my brows.  Suddenly I feel scared.  Scared that someone will catch me and scared of what I’ll find behind the door. I  use all my emotional strengh and push hard on the door.

“What the?”  I mutter to myself.  I know that I must start runnung but my feet stays stuck on the ground and my eyes on the scenery in front of me.  I feel like an iced statue and I have no idea what to do.