I wished

4

My eyes drift towards the movement outside my door and I quickly turn the book invisible.

“What are you doing?” Mom asked, a frown displayed on her face as she watches me with her hands on her hips. I hope she didn’t see the book

“Just thinking.” I lie.

“Thinking about what.” She asks, taking small steps towards me and I’m thankful that she didn’t mention the book.

“Just about things.” I don't know what to say.  I quickly think of something to say, knowing that she won’t just leave it, but my mind comes out blank.

“What things?” She sits next to me, making me feel uncomfortable with the invisible book in my lap.  What if my mind runs off and I forget to keep it invisible.  No. I won’t.  I look at mom and smile.

“Just about the future, I guess.” I lift my shoulders, trying to make her think that I’m really thinking about my future.  Which I actually never were.  Suddenly a warm pit of stress swells in my stomach.  What is going to happen to me in the future? Do I even have a future.  My thoughts drift towards Tobias, but I shake my head, aware of my thoughts.

Mom nervously bites her lips, her eyes sweeping up, making me see only the whites of her eyes.  I smirk. Looks like she also never thought about it.

“Oh, I see.” She says, whispery.  Her throat bobs as she swallows.  She probably doesn’t want me to have a future, that’s why she seems so guilty.

I grit my teeth and blow air out of my nose, “Well, canI continue, rea-” Oh no, I almost said it, “think please.” I hope she didn’t catch what I was going to say. 

Please just leave me alone I beg in my head, hoping she won’t start again with her annoying chants or whatever she does when she gets her attitude mood swings.

“Don’t-” She starts but she takes a deep, calming breath as if she’s trying hard to contain herself.  She changes her sentence, “You have to get dressed.”

I look down at my clothes, “Aren’t I already?”  I ask, giving her an obvious look.

Mom rolls her eyes, “Yes!” She stands from my bed, “But we are going to hold a farewell party for Blake.”

I frown.  “A farewell party?”

“Yes.”  She doesn’t say more, as she lands her hands on her hips

“Why?” I feel as if I’m going to suffocate with this short amount of knowing this news.  A farewell party?  Why would we throw him A farewell party? And to think it isn’t even the real Blake. It’s Tobias.

“It’s time for him to mate.” She says and my body turns ice cold.  For a second I forgot how to breathe.  I scratch the back of my neck feeling my hair clamping on my back.  I didn’t know sweat could develop so quickly, in an amount of short stressed time.  I shouldn’t have stressed so much before I heard the whole story.

“Mate?” I ask, but I’m actually afraid to hear what she’s going to say. I try to stop my hand from shaking. Why am I even worrying?

“Yes, he has reached the age, so it’s his time.” She says, making a weird move with her mouth. I raise my eyebrows at her, feeling my shoulder’s muscle burn from inflammation.  I massage with my fingers, making mom’s eyes turn big.

“Oh.” I say, trying not to look too worried.

“What’s wrong?” She asks, eyeing my shoulder.

“My muscle’s just a little stiff.” I say, not wanting her to worry.  She smiles and drags me with her, making the book fall to the ground. We both look at each other, at the loud clunk sound the book makes.  Thankfully it’s still invisible.

“Ow.” I say, pretending that she almost made me fall, and somehow that’s where the loud sound came from.

Mom’s face states a big question mark and I just want to burst out laughing.

“What was that?”

“I tripped over my own feet.”  I blame my feet, and pretend I’m tripping over them.  

Mom’s grip on my arm tightens.

“Oh, sorry.” She says.  I’m just glad she isn;t a powerful witch, so she won’t sense anything.

She pulls me towards the kitchen where she makes her medicine.  She fumbles around with jittery hands until she holds a small jar, smelling strong of something minty.

“This will help.” She says, swiping the thick oil with her two fingers and she starts to rub it into my shoulder.

“Thanks.” I say as my arms slums around as she rubs up and down, with hard movements. I hiss in pain, trying not to show it too much. A cold sensation develops over the part she’s smearing the oil in.

“Why’s it so cold?” I ask, frowning.  I never felt anything like it.  The coldness is spreading over my whole arm and I’m starting to doubt that it’s the oil that’s making me feel like that.

“It’s the menthol.”

“Menthol?”

“Yes, it makes it feel cold and relieves pain.” She says closing the jar.  She smiles triumphantly.

“Wow.” I say, thinking that she's really good at this, “You must show me all this stuff.” I gesture at the table with all her ingredients.

“Yes, I must.” And reading the expression on her face I can tell that the ‘future’ thing I was ‘thinking’ about is on her mind.  And some day she’s going to tell me she will teach me about medicine and I can sell it at the markets.  Or someone will sell it for me.  If I could I would throw up on her if I must.  I don’t want to make and sell medicine.  No thank you.

I stay quiet, looking outside the window, seeing the pack, carrying a big wooden table.

“What are they doing?” I ask.

She looks at where I’m looking, “Oh, they’re making ready for Blake’s farewell.”  And just like that my calm heart starts to beat out of my chest again.

“Oh.” I wipe my hands over my sweaty face.  I have to get him alone.  I have to hear what’s going on.  If I should help him, because he isn’t Blake and maybe he doesn’t even know what’s going on.

“Yes, I’m sure, he’ll be with a siren.” She says and I purse my lips.  A siren and not a witch.  I’ve never met a siren, but I’ve heard they are some of the most beautiful creatures to ever be known.  But is it just they’re beauty that’s making them powerful?

“What makes them special?” I ask, with a little attitude in my voice that I didn’t mean.

Mom looks at me with a knowing smile, “Beauty.”

“Just that?” I ask, frowning.

Mom chuckles, “Beauty holds much power my dear.”

I press my lips together, feeling irritated at how she's pretending to be a wise person.

“I don’t  know.” I say feeling unsure of her statement.  How can beauty hold more power than the power I hold?  I have power better than beauty.

“You don’t understand.  Having beauty and power of your own, you won’t understand.”

I purse my lips and nod at her.  I don’t want to talk about it anymore.  Mom is irritating me when she acts like she knows so much.  If she knew so much she wouldn’t have made me and let me suffer a chained life.

“Get dressed.”

“But I am.” I address her again.

“In more decent clothes.” She sniffs at the clothes I’m wearing like a snob. I follow her to her room.

“Why?” I feel that it’s unnecessary.  Like what even.  Blake is just going to have s*x and then he’s coming back.  Wait.  I feel bad about my own thoughts.  It isn’t Blake.  It’s Tobias.  I grit my teeth and shake the feeling off.  Is this… Jealousy?

“Just because.” Mom says not giving me a real answer.  I sigh.

She rummages in her closet and takes out a knee length white dress, decorated with silvery glitters.

“Wow.” I say.  It’s pretty.

She pushes it in my arms and I look at it with big eyes.  No.  I could never.  I feel to filthy for this beautiful piece of cloth.

“I don’t think a farewell is enough for this.” I say.  I don’t even want to touch it, but I lightly let my fingers slide over it.  It’s so soft and silky.

“Everyone deserves to feel pretty once in a while.”  She says and it seems as if she’s in a dreamland.

“But I always feel pretty.” I say which is true.  I’ve never felt ugly in any way. Only dirty but that isn’t ugly.

“A clean elegant pretty, Rose.”  

“Ok.” I say, not questioning anymore.  I don’t know why mom is acting so strange.  As if she’s in another world, but I'm sure it's that tea she’s drinking.

“Put it on.” She instructs and I nod, taking off the clothes I’m currently wearing.

“This will suit your slender body, perfectly.”

“Where did you get this dress?” I ask knowing I’ve never seen this dress before.  Actually I’ve never seen anything this beautiful before.

“It doesn’t matter.” She says as if she’s in a trance, helping to get the soft cloth over my body.  She does some things at the back, making it stick tighter to my body.

“Wow.” I say breathily at the tightness.

“You’ll get used to it.” She says, hearing my spasmodic breaths.  I don’t want to get used to it. I open my mouth to tell mom I don’t want to wear it but I look down and how nicely it sits on my body.

I’ve never worn something like this.  The straps are silver and thin over my shoulders and I doubt that it’ll be able to hold.  My breasts stand out that I didn’t even know I have.

“Wow.” Escapes my mouth.

“You look stunning.” Mom says with a glint in her eyes.

“Thank you.” I am still in awe.  The flare beneath looks like soft and delicate feathers.  I twirl around feeling like a light wind on my feet.

“Wow.” I say again.

“Take good care of it.” Mom says.  

My eyes light up and my heart gets a warm fuzzy feeling.

“Are you giving it to me?” I ask the tone in my voice a little too excited.  I bite my lips.  It’s just a dress. It’s just a dress Rose.  I turn my face expression into a frown.

“Yes, dear.” Mom says and caringly comb her finger through my knotted hair.

“Thank mom.” I say sitting on her bed as she takes a comb and gently runs it through my hair.

“You have such beautiful hair.” I don’t smile but frown at her words.  Mom’s never like this.  She always has something bad to say.  Something that she doesn’t mean in the end.  And then we always end up fighting, cause I will never tolerate her being like that to me. But I guess I have to get used to her like this.  So calm and caring.  I sigh as she starts to braid my hair,tight against my head. Even my hair?  Even my hair should be done nicely.  What the hell is going on.  AM I missing something, cause I’m sure a farewell like this shouldn’t be a person so dolled up.

“Ow.” I screech when she pulls too hard on a piece of hair.  I push my fingers on my sore scalp, helping to numb the sudden pain.

“Sorry dear.” Her voice is soft and apologetic.  I widen my eyes and squish my eyebrows together.  Something is definitely wrong with mom.

“Mom, what's going on?” I ask, unable to hold myself in any longer.

“What do you mean, dear?” 

I fumble with my fingers, trying to find the right words. Should I be straight?  Or should I hover over the sensitive spot.  Well, not sensitive, cause I don’t know what’s going on with her yet.

“You’re just acting differently.” I say licking my lips with my dried out tongue.  I need water.

“No dear.”  

What the hell.  She just keeps on adding to my skepticism.

“Okay.” Is the only word I have left to say and after all this I have some spying to do.

“All done.” She says and I feel my hair thick at the top of my head.  She finds a hand mirror behind her in the closet and shows it to me. I swallow.

She has never made my hair like this. Usually it’s only long braids or hanging loose with a few braids in it, but this is something completely different.  The braids are high, and no hanging pieces. It’s like a braided bun.

“Wow.” I say, once again as I turn my head sideways to inspect what she did, “I love it.”

Having this completely new style makes my face look different.  More prominent.  And I actually can see the beauty in my face without wild hair around it.

“Ayyyyy.” I jerk with my whole body, almost dropping the hand mirror, when  a loud ‘gong’ noise interrupts my staring and someone yelling.

I jump from the bed and rush to the window.  My jaw drops.  The pack is standing in a circle, holding drums, frequently hitting on it and making strange yelling noises from their mouth. In the middle is Blake. Covered in something red.

Oh no.

MY breathing hitch up.  He probably doesn’t know what’s going on.  I pick up my dress from the floor, hold it in a tight grip in my curled hands and rush towards them. I have to get Tobias out of this.