Frozen in time

Chapter twelve

Alice

I can't believe I'm really having fun. I mean...after the last few weeks I've been through...I just didn't think I was going to leave my room ever again. But here I am... dancing with my friends, a song I didn't even know until now. I know I'm not a great dancer, I really don't know where I got all these crazy dance moves...I think everyone has that talent after all, but they only find out at their birthday party or graduation.

After dancing about thirteen songs, and screaming sterically at Sophie and her crazy friends, I head back to the table with my mom and brothers.

- Glad you're having fun Alice. - my mother says, then gives me a kiss on the forehead. - I knew you'd get over it.

- Well... my friends are all here, so I don't know why I wouldn't have fun. - I say, and take a sip from my glass. - Ew! What is that?

I see that I had the wrong glass, instead of soda, I had a strange thing that tasted like lemon and alcohol.

My mother and João laugh at me.

- This one is João's cup. - my mother explains, taking the cup in front of me. - And you just had one of the cocktails prepared at that bar...

I look in the direction she's pointing, and see an all-colored mini-bar with bright neon lights, and a short, blond woman (dressed in gym clothes and looking very good-looking) mixing colorful drinks with fruit in the blender in the back. from the counter, while a man at her side (equally dressed, and very strong) juggles glasses and liquor bottles, twirling everything in the air and then slapping her forehead and stuff like that.

I just hate alcoholic beverages for pretty obvious reasons: my dad died because of them.

But even so, I have to put up with the idea that my ''new stepfather,'' - who just came along, but I'm pretty sure my mom and he used to make out before - drinks every weekend, and after work. And I'm not talking about a can or two of beer. I'm talking about the bottles of whiskey he bought at the market, the last time he had lunch at my house, where he sits on the porch with my mother while he smokes and drinks a glass of whiskey every ten minutes.

Very strange habits for a math teacher at a ten-year-old school, in my opinion.

But I know... that I have to respect him, for he is the man my mother has been ''fallen'' for the last few days, even though I don't understand exactly what she saw in him. The guy is just another skinny little teacher, with a lot of hair, (all over his face, to be more exact) and smart. Of course I don't judge her for being in love, after all, it's like they say... love is early, deaf and dumb. Still, I think it's weird, considering I've seen my dad in pictures, and to tell you the truth, he looked a lot like Brad Pitt. REALLY!

I roll my eyes and look at Charlie, who is sitting next to my mom, devouring the cold party snacks with a toothpick. I feel something is wrong. Wasn't there supposed to be two more annoying little dwarfs around here?

- Mom... where are Leandro and Leo?

- Hmm... I don't know dear - she looks around, a little worried. - They left a short time ago, saying they were going to the bathroom and so far they haven't come back.

- Mom, it was already a bad idea to bring them to an adult party, even more to leave them alone in a place full of pools!

- How beautiful... you're worried about them.

- No. I just don't want me to be known later as ''the sister of the boys who decided to take a dip in a graduation party''.

She laughs and so does João.

'Calm down Alice,' he says, in the syrupy voice that drunks have before they even get drunk. - They just want to have fun.

- I wouldn't let them have fun in public if I were you. I say, mentally remembering all the little school parties I took my brothers to. In most of them, either Léo and Leandro got into a fight over a toy or a balloon; Carlinhos vomited on the skirt of a woman with red hair, after eating a lot of hot dogs and then jumping on the pogo stick; or one of them cut the wire that held ALL the banners at the Junina party, and ended up causing a small fire in the middle of the court, because the flags had fallen into the fire.

I look around for pests, but I don't see anyone five feet tall.

- I look for them, before they kill someone. - I say, and get up to look for them.

After looking for Leandro and Leonardo practically through the entire party, and not finding them, I ended up giving up and walked back to the table, because the event organizer announced into the microphone, that dinner will already be served, and right after the dinner, all trainees have to prepare for the delivery of diplomas.

- Did you find your brothers? - my mother asks me, as soon as I sit in the chair.

- No. I looked in the bathrooms, and there was no one there.

- Strange. But they couldn't have gone far from the waiters.

- Look... if they're up to something...

- Daughter, calm down... your brothers love you. They would never do anything to harm you.

I give a forced laugh and bite my lower lip as I sweep the party with my eyes again. And I find them both, plucking out the golden balloons from the decor, near the stage where the band is singing. Before running towards them, I notice that as Léo pulls out the balloons, Leandro grabs them and runs between the people and throws them into the main pool.

Well, aside from the fact that they're ruining the party decor, this doesn't seem like a dangerous joke to me. But when I look at the pool, I see that there are already dozens of leather balloons floating in the water. And before I ask myself how they're making sure the balloons don't go flying, I see Leandro tying the balloon strings to some white rocks he's picked up somewhere, before throwing them into the pool.

I look around to see if anyone else is watching them, but they all seem to be chatting and laughing with their families, while the waiters serve the plates of food, - already prepared - to the tables, and others serve the drinks.

- Mom, do you see what they're doing?

- Who daughter?

- You devilish twins, who else would it be?

I point to them both, and my mom looks at them. Then she scratches her forehead, and takes a deep breath, before speaking.

- I'll fix it. - She prepares to get up from the table, but João stops her.

- No... - He gets up. - I'll call them.

- Hmm...thanks.

I watch as João walks towards my brothers, he's already walking a bit strange, - due to the mixed whiskey he's already drank - and when he approaches my brothers, he says something to them, and they run to the the other side of the party, until I don't see them anymore. After standing for a couple of seconds, João follows them, walking slowly and with the greatest patience.

"Mother," Carlinhos says, in a sleepy voice. - I don't like Uncle John.

I look at him.

- Well, why not my son? He seems to be so nice to you. He even got you that new birthday ball on Saturday.

- I know. But when I threw the ball for him to catch, he kicked it angrily and said he didn't have time for such nonsense.

- Did he say that dear?

- Yes. He said.

- Maybe he was a little tired, that's all. But I promise I'll ask him what happened, okay?

Carlinhos nodded, and went back to eating, but I just look at my younger brother, and in the direction where the twins ran, then I look at my mother, suspicious. I don't know this John enough to trust him, and I feel like there's something really bad about him, I'm just not sure yet.

While my mom and I talk about art classes without me, and where we're going to spend this vacation, João approaches the table with Léo and Leandro behind him. The two of them sit at the table, angry and with their little arms crossed, while José kisses the top of my mother's head and sits down beside her, smiling. I'm very surprised that he managed to get my brothers back so quickly, but I don't say anything as we ate the refined dinner from the party buffet.

***

Eliza.

After dinner - which I can say was quite pleasant because I was with my family and friends - we (the graduates) were called to put on our gowns and go forward to receive diplomas and listen to the speaker's speeches. the class (a girl named Carine, who only gets a ten in all subjects), the principal, and some teachers.

I watch as the principal calls one by one to the stage, - with the full name and still making short comments to some students, like ''This one was always smart'', or ''She never missed a class'', or ''He got caught trying to skip school last week, but he's a good kid,'' as guests applaud and laugh at his jokes. - to receive diplomas and take pictures with teachers and parents.

I hope the director doesn't say, when it was my turn: ''She barely passed the year because she didn't try hard enough, but by a miracle, she's here!'', because that would be too embarrassing.

- Nervous friend? - Alice asks me beside me.

I look at her and realize she looks pretty funny in her blue gown over her black dress, and the square graduation hat on her head, but she still looks pretty. I think before answering her question, but my hands are shaking and will damn me if I lie. After all, what teenager doesn't get nervous when he knows that this will be his cue to get on with his life, making difficult choices and having big responsibilities to fulfill as an adult?

- Yes. - I tell her. - Is very.

She takes my hand and we both wait. When the principal calls her name, Alice walks to the stage and the principal hands her her diploma, saying that she has always been the best student in the language courses. She smiles as the photographer takes pictures of her with her family, and everyone applauds and shouts her name.

When it's my turn, my legs are shaking like green sticks as I climb the three steps and position myself in the middle of the stage so the director gives me my diploma rolled up like a straw, and hugs me so we can take pictures (thanks to God he said nothing about me). I smile on the outside, but I feel like crying and running out of nervousness, and when everyone at the party applauds and shouts my name, I look over at Carol, who is standing by the table, screaming and clapping like hell. joy, as if I were a sister, or part of the family.

Wants to know? I even think it's cool. I feel like everyone is really happy for me. I know I'll have to give twice as much from now on, to be able to fulfill my dreams, and live happily. This moment makes me forget that I've been killing myself at work these past few days, giving my all to study, take care of the house, pay attention to my friends and family, and be totally confused by a complicated relationship with my ex.

Alright, WHY DID I REMEMBER THIS, RIGHT NOW?!?

- My congratulations my daughter, - my mother hugs me for the millionth time. - You were beautiful up there.

- Thank you mom. I couldn't get here if it weren't for you.

- What you mean? - my father says, taking a little soda. - You are a very hardworking and determined girl. We should thank you for helping us.

I smile at my dad. He is the person who inspired me to be like this, he never gives up on his goals and always went after everything so that I would never lack for anything. And now here I am, graduating from high school, about to go to my dream college.

About to go to my dream college!

I almost forgot that I was accepted into the medical school I always wanted to study. I mean, of course I haven't really forgotten, but with everything that's happened...I think I've froze. Why am I not bouncing around the party like a rabbit and screaming for joy? Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?

No. That's crazy attitude.

But at least I should be super happy.

And I'm super happy.

What's wrong with me?

'Eliza,' Carol says, looking at me tenderly. - I thought you were really amazing, and I had a lot of fun. But it's time for me.

- But already? - I say, sad. - Don't you want to wait for dessert?

Carol smiles.

- I would love...

- No. - Chad says, getting up. - Nurse Silveria has already called Carol's cell phone ten times. I have to take her to the hospital.

- Well... all right. I will accompany you two.

After Carol and Chad say goodbye to my family, and my mom says she loved meeting her and hopes to see her soon, I accompany them to the party's entrance, where Chad disassembles Carol's chair and takes it to his car in the parking lot.

- Thanks for coming Carol.

- I already said I wouldn't stop coming.

- I know. But her presence was very important to me. Really...you've taught me a lot of things over the past few weeks...things that have helped me a lot at times.

- What? - she smile. - You're not serious... you're the one who taught me dozens of things... I don't even know where to start, your strength, your determination, the ill-advised stories you tell me, all this is helping me in the hospital. And because of you, I'm taking all those bad meds. Not to mention that you've saved my life more than five times.

- Well, it's just my duty as a nurse's aide. But... I'm telling you the truth, you're teaching me to enjoy my life more. I don't think I would have the heart to go to work anymore, if it wasn't for the curiosity to know what madness you would be up to in the hospital again. Like last week, when you decided to go down to the doctors' wing to play video games wearing a lab coat, and you dragged me with you. I would never do this on my own. And it was really... fun.

- Okay, but we were caught and for very little you were not fired. Lucky for you, you already got the boss's son, so he didn't kick you out.

I smile while she laughs. But remembering Edu now makes me want to cry instead of smile. But of course I won't cry. I never cry.

- Eliza, you're thinking about him, aren't you?

- It was you who brought up the subject.

"It was bad..." She pulls me into a tight hug, and I almost, almost, break down in tears. But I know Carol already has too many problems to deal with one more, like fighting for her life. - Wants to know? Enough thinking about that boy!

I frown slightly, not understanding.

- This is a very special night... - she continues. - And it's your night. You have to enjoy it more. Look... promise me you'll forget about him for at least one night and try to be happy, doing things without a second thought?

I look at her, still confused.

"Hey," she snaps her fingers in front of my face. - If I die tomorrow, and I know you didn't fulfill what I said, I'll haunt you for the rest of your life, do you hear me right?

I startle and open my mouth to say something, but she interrupts me, upset.

- Promise me you'll have fun today and not even think about his name?

- Hmm... I... promise.

She smiles and hugs me again, very excited.

- It's ok. Take care... friend.

I smile.

- You take care too... friend.

She laughs, and walks over to Chad, who hugs her and gives her a quick kiss on the lips, nods at me, and they walk to the parking lot.

I go back to the party determined to have fun.

But what did she mean? What do I have to do to have fun? Running with my little brother across the club lawn? Dancing like a madman in the middle of the floor, or going out kissing all the guys I know? I should have asked Carol for more details about ''fun'' before she left.

But I know someone who also knows how to have fun.

***

Sophie.

I know I should play the saintly and very straight daughter and sit with my parents at the sitting table, talking about how wonderful it is going to be to move with them to Italy, and abandon my whole life. But I think they're fine after all, since my father found an old friend at the party, and he hasn't stopped talking about work since the waiters started serving the buffet sweets, - by the way, I turned on my '' candy addiction'' and added more than a dozen sweets to my plate, including ice cream cake, candied chocolate cupcakes, and other sweet buns I don't even know the name of.

But of course my parents don't even dream about it, because after Pri and Catito and I got tired of dancing and screaming, we fled around the back of the party and sat on the edge of a semi-empty pool, where there was no one, and we could only hear the muffled music coming from the party.

It must be after one in the morning now, but I know the party is far from over.

- Sure you don't want one? - I offer Pri a cupcake for the third time while I chew one. - It is delicious.

- No Sophie, I already said that I already ate a lot today... whoever the organizers of this party are, they did well at the reception.

- Okay, but I couldn't eat much for dinner, as my father asked the waiter to bring ''special dishes'' for us, and what came to me were just leaves and a tiny portion of shrimp. And I don't even like shrimp!

- Own, my poor little princess... - Catito hugs me, but laughs with Priscilla. - Don't you want to drink a little to forget your bossy parents?

He offers me some of the drink that's in the colored glass, which he got at the bar, - which they only gave him, because he showed his ID, proving that he was really twenty - It must be something very strong, for them to have so many rules.

'No,' I say, in a whiny voice. - If my father finds out, and he will, that I have had a drop of alcohol in my mouth, he will enroll me in a school for teenagers with serious headaches, in Switzerland, and he will never take me out of there again.

It wasn't a joke, but they both laughed anyway. Catito threw his head back with laughter, drinking some more of his cocktail, and even accidentally hitting one of my cookies and knocking him into the pool.

- Hey! - I look into the pool, and see my muffin sinking to the bottom very slowly. - Look what you did with my muffin!

- Oh, I'm sorry... - He kneels by the pool and looks at my muffin. - Shall I dive in and get it for you?

- Of course, it's no use now because he's all wet!

Priscilla looks at me, surprised by my reaction.

And I don't know what's wrong with me. My relationship went down the drain, I'm going to change country in a few days, I won't be able to move on with my dream career, I'll have to go to college that I hate just to please my father, and my life is a d**g, but what is it?

- You know what... - I say, and take the glass from the cat's hand. - It's only fair that I drink this here, since you ended up with my last muffin!

He doesn't say anything, and I just down the drink in one go. First, I get the sweet taste of strawberries, apples and pineapple in my mouth, then I get the strong whiskey and energy taste down my throat, and my stomach feels like it's burning. But what does it matter? This is delicious!

- I want another one.

- I don't know if it was a good idea to let this crazy girl drink. - Catito says to Pri, and she smiles.

- Catito, - I grab his sleeves. - Please, you need to give me another one!

- Look, you're just full of emotions and feelings that are confusing you... but after a therapy session and some medicine you'll get better.

'No,' I shake my head. - I just want to have fun. Please... get one more of these for me.

'Oh, okay Catito,' Pri says. - Give her just one more glass, I bet it doesn't hurt.

I smile at Pri and look at Catito hopefully.

- Oh, okay... - He gets up. - What don't I do for my girls, ehn?

I jump for joy and give him a hug.

- Thank you Catito, you are the best.

- Oh, yeah... I already know that.

He leaves, and heads towards the party, and I join Pri again to talk about the upcoming collection of Channel bags.

After Catito returned with three cocktails, (one each), I drank mine, faster than I thought. And then I asked to drink Priscilla's, - who was drinking very slowly - and that was all I needed, to start getting a headache, and wanting to throw up all the sweets I had eaten.

'Guys,' I say, struggling to get up. - I need to pee.

- All right... - Pri says. - Need help?

- No. I can handle myself.

- Okay. The bathroom is over there.

I walk in the direction Pri pointed, and see a separate townhouse from the club. I'm so dizzy, I feel like my heels are weighing six pounds under my feet. I walk down a long corridor with a granite floor and enter through a large wooden door, which I could read on the sign - with great difficulty, as I was filling everything in embarrassment - ''unisex bathroom''.

I almost can't believe I drank it. My parents are going to kill me.

After throwing up in the toilet, flushing my own vomit, and being ashamed of myself for a long five seconds, sitting on the toilet lid. I get out and go to one of the bathroom sinks, turn on the faucet and grab water with my hands to wash my face. After recovering a bit, I wipe my face and hands in a paper towel.

I was already getting used to the silence of the bathroom when I heard the noise of the bathroom door slamming, and someone come in grumbling and shuffling their feet.

When I see a figure behind me in the mirror, not wearing a suit jacket, with the tie loose and turned upside down, and his hair disheveled, totally drunk, I immediately turn around.

- Rick, what are you doing here? - I say, forcing myself not to show any feeling in my voice, and forgetting that it's a free bathroom.

- Well, well, well... - he says, opening his arms dramatically. - Look who we got here.

- You look awful, if you ask me.

- Yeah, but I don't want to. - he says seriously. And after analyzing me with his eyes, he literally looked me up and down slowly. And then he smiled wickedly. - Sophie... have you been... drinking?

- No. - I blow, almost even I don't believe my lie. - Of course not. Where did you get that from?

He doesn't answer me, instead he comes to me and turns on the faucet to wash his face. Alright, I know it's my cue to get out of here, but what can I do? I have to vent the hatred I'm feeling for him.

- Rick, how did you have the courage to come talk to me in front of my parents? Did you forget they don't know the real reason I broke up with you?!

He wipes his face while giving a weird drunken laugh.

- You Broke up with me? I thought it was the other way around.

- It doesn't matter now! Anyway, do you really think I'd keep hooking up with you even though I know you're a junkie and a dirty drunk?! I yelled, and I felt like I shouldn't have yelled it as soon as I felt my cheek burning from the slap he gave me across the face.

It must have been with all his strength, because I almost fell with one slap. It takes me a while to pull myself together, but for God's sake... it's burning up! I feel tears falling from my eyes. Tears of pain for sure. I was already forgetting how it hurts to get hit, because I NEVER really got hit. Not my parents, not anyone else. My heart is racing just knowing that the first person who hit me was the only guy I thought I ever loved.

I look at him, startled, and he's clenching his fists and clearly controlling himself not to s***k me.

- Do you think it's whose fault I'm in this state? - he says, rudely. And he grabs me by both arms quickly, pinning me against his chest. - Tell me who you think is to blame Sophie!

- And yours. I mumble as I feel my arms sting where his hands are squeezing me tightly. - It's your fault.

- No! - he screams in my ear. - It's your fault! All yours! You were the person who destroyed my life! He said he loved me, and that he wanted to spend his life by my side, but he didn't even have time for me!

I would respond if I wasn't wanting to get out of his hands or coming up with a plan to yell for someone to help me.

- You are... the biggest bitch... the world has ever seen Sophie Castryne! he continues, yelling in my ear, his green eyes wide and reddened. - You heard?! THE BIGGEST b***h!

- Me... let go... now! - I say, and try to escape, but he squeezes me even more with just one hand, and slides the other to my leg, and then under my dress. - Stop... with... that you i***t!

I swing and squirm to get away from him, but he grabs me and crosses both my arms in front of my chest, immobilizing me completely. He puts one hand over my mouth while holding me with the other.

- And now, princess? - he says, in my ear. - Who's gonna save you? Your daddy? I very much doubt it.

I can't move or breathe properly. I feel like my strength has already run out, and I don't even know what the hell he wants to do to me. Hit me? I think that should probably be it. Since I've caused so much disgrace in his life, as he says.

And I know I should know what he's capable of, having dated him for over six months. But what can I say? From what I've heard, people tend to behave differently when they're drunk. And even worse, when they're drugged. And I'm just a girl who has never learned a fighting move, nor has enough strength to escape the arms of a guy who has muscle just because he swims and climbs. If only my parents would put me in karate instead of ballet, boxing instead of piano lessons.

What the HELL is the use of doing yoga sessions if it won't save you when your drunk ex-boyfriend decides to r**e you?

- Let her go right now.

I don't know where that voice came from, because I'm up against the wall, but when I look in the bathroom mirror, I see Thiago without his suit, wearing a long-sleeved black T-shirt, and jeans. I almost smile in relief that he appears to be a vampire, or a stalker maniac, or a serial killer, it doesn't matter when he's here and can help me escape Rick.