Alpha Female's Fate

VIII - "Second Day Of Training"

I slept peacefully the whole night. I dreamed about a wolf with dark brown fur that was almost black. The wolf was really big and had red eyes which meant he was a rogue. He looked dangerous, but I wasn't afraid. Somehow I felt safe being near him. He watched me from across the lake but didn't come closer. I couldn't tear my eyes off him. I wanted to go to him, but I woke up.

The memory of that dream made me shiver. Whoever he was I could be in danger if he found my camp. I quickly went out of the tent and ran outside the cave. I sniffed the air, but I couldn't smell any wolves. I went to the place where he stood in my dream. There was no sign od anyone. No paw prints, no scents. I felt relieved, but I also felt saddness coming from inside of me. Was it my wolf? Why was she sad? Didn't she want us to be safe?

I shook my head to clear my mind of this thoughts. I needed to focus on reconnecting with my wolf. The fool moon and my birthday are tomorrow. There will be no better time for this. I cannot waste that chance. I went back to the cave. I ate some breakfast. "I don't have much food. I'll propably have to go back to the town to buy some more. I couldn't take more, because I had to go on foot for hours to come here. But I really don't want to go back yet..." - I thought to myself. Going to shop for food was the plan from the beginning, but I felt so good here. I didn't want to go back to the town. At least I still had food for at least two days so shopping can wait.

I called my parents and talked with them for about half an hour. I had to lie constantly. I hated lying to them, but I had to. I couldn't pretend I'm human anymore. I couldn't live without my wolf any longer. After I hung up I left my phone in my tent and went running.

This time I did three rounds around the lake without slowing down. I was even more tired than yesterday, but I didn't care. It felt amazing to run free in the forest. After that I did 50 push-ups, 60 squats and 60 crunches. I did some stretching and almost fell on the ground because of how tired I was, but if that's the cost of getting my wolf back, then I'm happy to do it. I'm happy to be tired. It feels so natural to train.

I sat on the ground and started meditating. This time I swear I could feel someones presence within me. It was really subtle feeling, but I knew it was her. I still couldn't communicate with her but I believed it's only the matter of time.

I swam across the lake twice, just like yesterday. I went back to the cave and ate some lunch. After that I washed myself and cleaned my clothes in the lake, just like yesterday.

I went for a walk, but I didn't dare to go as far as yesterday. I made sure that no wolf was near my camp now or earlier. Fortunately there was no sign of any and I was safe. I went back to the cave and ate some canned food for dinner. I closed myself in the tent and went to sleep. It was only starting to get dark, but I needed much sleep because tomorrow I propably will go to sleep really late. It will be full moon. I could already feel that the moon started to have some effect on me but it was a really subtle feeling. Fortunately I fell asleep quickly.