I’ve locked myself in the bathroom with my white box of journals and some wooden, red tipped stove matches. The mute Mediterranean finally left, but Pig, the Puerto Rican, Jamie and the Jew are still going strong. I have the Ben journals piled in the tub and the match poised but I am unable to do it. My plan to meet and make peace with Ben completely dissolved once I started this whole gang bang. But I can’t seem to light my past on fire and watch it turn to ash. I suppose once this is done, all hope will be gone and I’ll be faced with really ending it all, which is pretty damn depressing. I don’t think I can have any more s*x with this group. There is no reason to prolong the inevitable.
I sigh and call Pig into the room. He’s become such a comfort to me.
He doesn’t need words, he kno
