Prank Me Love

Dad, There's A Dead Creep Outside Our House

A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. 

He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God. 

"God", he said, "how long are a million years?" 

God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."

The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"

God answered, "To Me, it's a penny."

The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"

God said, "In a minute."  

-"Time and Eternity", christiansunite.com

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER ONE: 

IT WAS LYING ON THE DRIVEWAY. 

Something was lying suspiciously beside my red beat-up truck parked right outside our house near the front lawn. On the cemented driveway, beside the bushes, the said unidentified creature was not moving and could most likely be dead (though, I still hope it was not). Don't ask me why I prefer to call that an 'it' when obviously it was a living thing and it looked more like a human. 

But still, we cannot be so sure of things right away. What if, as of this moment, there had been a tragedy happening outside, and what if that human-being-sort of creep lying there was already a zombie, and before I even got close to him, some maniac cannibal freak would come out of nowhere and bite me with his teeth that would turn me into like the rest of them? 

No way, would I even dare. Though, I know I'm over-exaggerating this. This seemed to be a terrible side effect of having to spend most of your waking hours in front of the TV. Too much Walking Dead. Too many episodes of Z-nation and gory films. Too many marathons, Shai.

"Dad?" I chose to call out from where I had been standing just behind the window peeking through the blinds of our living room. I waited for dad to say anything back to me who was currently busy in the kitchen as I heard the clattering noises echoing from there.

Dad is the resident cook in our house. Ever since mom passed away when I was ten, dad had been the one taking over most of the household stuff around the house despite his busy schedule at the town's hospital. Even when I still try my best to do my part in helping him out, I really don't think I was even doing that much for him. We were the only two people left in the house since my older brother got married and moved out of the house to live in another state with his own family.

Occasionally, my brother would visit us with his wife and his son. But in the past ten months, their visits became even less frequent than they usually did.

Don't get me wrong though. I don't really mind if my brother had gone too busy taking care of his own family now that they are also expecting another baby soon. I am honestly happy for him. And I really admire dad for being so dependable all this time on top of taking care of me. I would never really know how I could ever really survive a dramatic childhood if it was not for him. We were both lonely ever since mom died and even lonelier after my brother left the house. And in the past few months, we had been struggling to find some kind of solace in dealing with how quiet it had been now that there was only the two of us here. I guess, he just also misses mom and Jay (my elder brother) as much as I do. And perhaps, the awkward silence might never really go away. We were both just too lazy to ever really deal with it in the past two years.

"Yes, honey?" I finally heard dad asked this away. His voice instantly shook me out of my thoughts as he hollered from the kitchen.

"There's something lying on the driveway." I answered after a beat, as soon as I found my voice while I continually stared through the window towards the 'it' with assertive eyes. It still laid there, immobile.

"Maybe it's the newspaper," dad said with a nonchalant voice, "I'm still busy here with the bacon, honey. Why don't you go get it instead?"

I was about to say I can't and 'no, it's not a newspaper, dad' but I stopped just when the supposedly 'it' suddenly moved. It didn't entirely shake that much. It was just a little nudge. I saw its feet (or I assume it were) make a small action of its own, and that took my attention. So in the next minute, I was already on my way towards the front door, determined to see it up close because my curiosity was killing me. I will have to find this 'it' out on my own now.

"Forget the zombies," I muttered to myself, putting my shoes on in a haste. Then, I marched out of the house towards the 'it', my shoes creating squeaky noises as I made a beeline for it.

And so much for being so curious, because the 'it' was really just a human, after all. Stopping right next to it, I looked down, feeling disappointed to find out that the 'it' was completely normal. Passed out near the sidewalk or maybe half-dead (still a possibility) because I could not see clearly if it was still breathing or not.

I studied it. The 'it' now made sense to me as I silently observed his slumbering state.

Yeah, the 'it' was a he. 

And he was deeply asleep... Just asleep with no care for the world, wearing a black shirt and a pair of denim jeans. He looked rather young but I guess not young enough to be called a minor anymore, based on the kind of mature appeal I took notice of from his side profile and the faint wrinkles visible on his skin. Maybe he's twenty-one or older, cause he got this rugged look and his built was slightly bulkier than the guys at school. 

I tried to decipher the presence of this stranger and surprisingly, I somehow ended up admiring how pretty he was. Maybe he was just pretty from the angle where I was looking at but I was definitely sure this guy had the numbers on him. He's very attractive, period. And just when I was about to wake him up by patting him on the shoulder, he suddenly stirred.

"Hmmnn," the guy groaned as he twisted to his side, startling me, and somehow that mildly gave me relief to know he was still alive. The last thing I really needed right now was to witness a murder scene right in front of our house this early in the morning. Though, lucky for him, if he ever was really half-dead, my dad would be out here in an instant to tend to him. Yet fortunately, this guy seemed more than okay anyway. 

"Hey," I called out to the guy who was just making subtle murmuring noises and small movements of his head as his brows furrowed with his eyes closed. He must be still stuck in a dream.

"Hey," I said again, louder this time, moving closer, but the guy just shifted a little to his side and went back to sleeping like a dead man. Lying on his back, this change of position instantly brought a chance for me to see his entire face revealing one that I couldn't take my eyes off from. 

Straight thick eyebrows, long lashes, pouty lips that you could have guessed were very prone to smirking (I just pretty much assume this one, though), and a strong jaw pooled with a five-o'clock shadow. He unbelievably looked just like an angel while he slept so peacefully, a face that must have been offered a lot of contracts in the modeling industry--a face more likely to be seen in romantic movies and magazines.

"Ehem," I consciously cleared my throat, trying to bring some sense in my head after that trance.

"Hey," I moved to nudge the side of the guy with my foot as I pried my eyes away from him quickly. Though I couldn't really resist staring back at his face again and sighed. It was undeniably hard for me to stop myself too because he was such a sight... And perhaps, I was just a sucker for good-looking guys.

"Hey, mister," I crouched down this time, trying to be level-headed as I leaned forward towards, bending my body to an angle. Patting his shoulder with my hand, I said, "Mister, you can't sleep out here like this. Who are you?"

 "Urngggh..." the guy had only managed to reply, swatting my hand away with subconscious efforts and shifted more to his other side this time. Now, his back was turned on me. His shirt had also ridden up, revealing a small side view of... Oh, abs. And damn, if that was not too much for me. He had to go away now, he was really turning me into a drooling creep here.

"Mister, wake up!" I yelled but the guy still didn't budge. I was starting to get frustrated so I stood up straight and immediately went back inside the house.

I maneuvered my way into the kitchen where Dad was cooking and opened the cupboard beside the fridge.

"Did you get the newspaper, honey?" dad asked me, though he's still busy making breakfast to really be observant about my mood. 

"It's not a newspaper," I said, still rummaging through the cabinet.

"No? Then what is it?" 

"I'm not sure," I told dad when I found the thing I needed and went to the sink to fill it with water.

"What are you going to do with that?" I heard dad asked me but I was already on my way to the front door, not minding answering him.

I swiftly walked towards the 'it' lying on our driveway and with a deep sigh, dumped all of the cold water on him. The guy woke up in a flash, gasping for breath, with his surprised and pissed-off face looking from his left to right furiously searching for the culprit of his wake. When he noticed me standing behind him, a water jug still hanging between my hands above him, he glared at me.

"I told you to get up," I simply said.

"What's your problem?! God!" he said angrily, shaking his head, spraying water droplets all around. He shouldn't be using God's name in vain, this guy.

"You're trespassing," I replied coolly, staring him down.

"So you just kinda feel like rudely waking me up because of that?!" 

"I can't think of any other possible way to do that, so you leave me with no other choice. Besides, you're in someone's private property," I answered, crossing my arms. I take back what I said a while ago, this guy's not that attractive... He's a total jerk.

"Right," the guy said in return, scowling. Yet, he still looked devilishly handsome, half lying on the gravel ground with his yummy chest and abs quite exposed through his soaked shirt on display in front of me... Damn it, what am I saying? Stop praising this guy's good looks, for chrissakes. So before I could even get distracted I tried to focus more on my own frustration.

"You're tresspassi--"

"What's going on?" The rest of my words got halted right after I heard dad's voice coming out from the front door behind me and I swiftly turn my head to look at him.

"Mr. Woods," the guy next to me murmured in a panic tone as he struggled to stand up from where he was sitting on the ground and cleared his throat before adding, "Good morning." 

Hearing the immediate shift in the tone of his voice, I turned and frowned at the guy, not hiding my disbelief. Does he know my dad?

"Hoult?" dad said back in confusion as he walked his way towards us. "Is that you?"

"You know this creep, dad?" I asked, also a bit confused. Who was this guy really?

"Creep?!"

"Creep?" 

The guy and my dad exclaimed at the same time.

"I'm not a creep!" The Hoult guy said indignantly, trying to defend himself while my dad just stopped on his tracks, giving me a void look. I chose to stare at the guy next to me and let out a snort. Well, dude, you're the one lying around, sleeping on somebody's driveway.

"He's not a creep, honey. He's the son of Mr. Phillip Hoult, our neighbor next door." Dad had calmly explained from the distance, making me snap my head to look at him. Dad smiled at my misunderstanding as he approached us.

"If he lives next door, why is he sleeping here on the driveway?" I asked, and I heard Hoult guy grunted back.

"Is that true, James? You're sleeping on the driveway?" Dad switched his attention to Hoult or this James dude, or whatever his name should be with a concerned look.

"Yeah, kind of," James dude scratched the back of his neck, looking a bit ashamed all of a sudden, his cheeks slowly turning a little red too, "I didn't mean to crash into your yard, Mr. Woods. I'm sorry." James added apologetically and it seemed to work because my dad looked at him with softer eyes as if he had quickly understood. Well, what the hell just happened? Does he just easily get off the hook like that?

"I don't understand this. Did someone kick you out of your own house? Is that why you're sleeping on someone else's driveway?" I said out of sarcasm, looking back at James. 

He gave me a deathly glare, and I bit the inside of my cheek to stop opening my mouth again. I didn't mean to say that, really. I'm not usually this bitchy to strangers but this guy just gave off that kind of vibe that really annoyed the hell out of me... I don't know why but it irked me for some reason that he was making me feel a little strange.

"Shane, I didn't raise you to act like that," I heard dad warned me, making me wince. "It's not James' fault he's here. But James, you really should not sleep here out of all places. You might get sick. Come inside with us," he offered James instead and James meekly nodded with a tight smile. I could even feel the weight of James's stare when I tried to ignore him.

"Go have some breakfast inside and change," Dad said to him gently, patting him on the back, and I turned my eyes between the two of them with a scrutinizing look on my face. They seemed to just hit it off right away, huh?  I watched them walked towards the front door like some good old friends. Well, I didn't know they were so close already. Who the hell is this James, anyway?

"Shane, are you just going to stand there all morning? Or do you have any plans of having breakfast first before you get late for school?" I heard dad yelled to me from the front door when I didn't move from where I stood. 

I stubbornly walked towards the house with a scowl on my face, still anxious about this James dude who just miraculously and mysteriously landed on our driveway. I skimmed through the whole thing, even until I settled myself in the dining area next to him. I watched him eat quietly while he just looked even more likely at home. There. At our dining table, munching the same batch of pancakes for breakfast that dad and I were having this morning. This was so weird. And who the hell was this creep anyway? What was he doing getting comfortable in our kitchen?

I was kind of under the impression that this guy's had a lot of something going on with him. And I think I'm gonna need a lot of answers to my questions about his identity... But only one echoed inside my head as I went through my meal coldly. Why was he suddenly invading our lives this too fast?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------