"Through the darkness to the dawn;
And when I looked back, you were gone."
-lines from the song "Nobody Knows" by The Lumineers
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CHAPTER FOUR:
I was deep in thoughts when I heard him spoke, but I can't quite understand what he's saying. We were still in my car, on our way home now.
It was starting to rain, the clouds looked all gray. Sprinkles of water were now dropping splotches on the glass window and on my car's windshield. For some reason, something about this entire scene and mood made me recall that one particular day from my past... But I brushed it away as soon as it visited me. I did not want to feel a little gloomy.
Busying my thoughts as I stared out the window, watching the view of streets passed by, I heard James' voice calling me.
"Hey," He said out of the blue. When I did not try to acknowledge him, he started waving his free hand right in front of my face, and this time, it made me shift over my seat to look at him.
"What?" I bit out.
"You okay there? I was gonna say something."
"Yeah," I rolled my eyes and sighed, facing the front, and added, "I am. What is it?"
James looked hesitant for a second before he finally answered back.
"Is it okay if we maybe just drop by at the grocery store for a while?" He asked, "I just need to buy some stuff. But not that it's something you have to agree with. If it's only okay with you, I mean, if you don't mind, I---"
"Alright," I answered simply, shrugging back as I said, "It's fine. You can do that."
"You sure?" He asked again with raised brows, swinging his head back and forth from the windshield and in my direction. He looked totally surprised and I could not help but chuckle at his reaction.
"Yes," I said shaking my head and stifling my laughter. And after a pause, I added, "Or do you want me to take it back?"
My eyes met his when I said those words and James held his tongue for a moment.
"No," He said after a while, "I'm honestly grateful. Thank you."
"Sure," I smiled, turning my attention back to the view on my side and to my own thoughts again. I suddenly wondered when was the last time I did go to a grocery store before. It seems like ages ago, but the memory's still burnt with pain inside of me. I pushed the thoughts away to the back of my mind, closing my eyes to hide the sadness that is starting to creep out. Cause I have already sworn I would never go back there. Ever again. Like I promised him. I would never go back to that day.
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"Okay," James nods down on a list he was staring at, while I follow him patiently. He had some unfamiliar items in his cart, like 'guy items'. Things with "oil", "wire", "thinner" labels, and car tools, all piled up altogether, and something tells me he's gonna need more than one person to help him carry all of it once we're finished here.
"One last thing on the list," He says with finality, looking around the tall shelves surrounding us. We are now at the painting aisle. Lots of paints everywhere.
"There you go!" He yelps, making me startle as I watch him pick up gallons and gallons of paint or whatever.
"What are you going to do with all of these?" I said, frowning at his loaded cart, "Build your own house so you won't sleep on the driveway again?"
It wasn't an offensive statement, though. I was only teasing him. Fortunately, he took it lightly with a chuckle.
"Yeah, right," he replies dryly, "It's so you won't wake me up the same thing you did this morning."
I laughed and shake my head at him, wondering if he's really serious. "So, what's this? What are you up to?"
"Curious are we?" He looks at me with a raised brow, "Sorry princess. But I'm not going to spoil the surprise."
He turns his back to me and continues to walk away, pushing his cart in the process. I watch him with dissatisfaction and cross my arms. Should I even really care about what he's up to? Well, technically, I don't really have anything to do with him. So, whatever. Let him do what he wants to.
I mentally nod on that thought and so, followed him to the cashier.
"Can I ask you something?" I ask from the passenger's seat. We are now halfway on our drive home.
"Sure, princess," James smiles, never taking his eyes off the road. His dimple appears in this view I had of him and I can't just ignore how cute it looks. How many guys do I even know who had dimples that look so good on them like James? Only two, I think. Including James on the list, however.
"Please don't call me princess," I told him, mulling around the nickname he seems to start calling me since we've met.
"Is that what you want to ask me?" He says, giving me a glance.
"No," I shake my head, "I was gonna ask why you were sleeping on our driveway this morning."
"Oh," his mood instantly shifts as we took a turn at an intersection.
Silence filled us, that I began to worry about my choice of question. Shouldn't I've asked that in the first place? Gosh, Shane sometimes you're just too insensitive to people's feelings.
"My dad locked me out," James says softly after a long minute, so soft I almost did not hear it through the gentle raindrops thrumming the roof of my truck.
I didn't say anything after and just remained quiet and conscious. Something about that answer made me feel sorry for him and at the same time, guilty of what I just did this morning. Well, even though I could say that my action was entirely a normal reaction to something like that, but still, knowing the reason behind it all, made me realize how mean I was to him.
"Sorryfordumpingyouthatcoldwater," I said in one breath, huffing, after a few minutes.
"I'm sorry?" James frowns at me, but I could see a smile twitching on the sides of his mouth, "What did you just say?"
"I'm not repeating it," I said, looking away and blushing. I hear James chuckling beside me, and I noticed that we're already in front of my house.
"Just so you know, princess," I hear him say to me, my eyes still glued to the window beside me and away from him, "That water's freaking cold. It was really mean of you."
"I already told you I was sorry!" I glared at him, scowling.
"Now, I hear it," James smirks at me, ruffling my hair before he gets out of the car, laughing.
I groaned and gave him a death glare through the window where I watch him walk to the back of my truck to unload the stuff he bought from the grocery.
"That jerk," I mutter to myself, as I get off. Yet, I can't deny the smile that comes out of my lips after he got me all riled up. I just met him for one day, but it already seems like we've been doing these things for so long. And this reminds me of something. But I shake the thoughts away before they even came back--cause, I can't. So instead, I busied myself with helping James carrying his big heavy stuff. Ugh, really.
What is he up to with all of these?
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"Should I be nervous now?"
I look up, squinting through the brightness, only to see James hovering above me, partially blocking the sun.
"Go away," I grumble, ignoring him as I pull out more weeds on our front yard.
It is that time of the season now, where I get to do this ritual I've been doing for the past two years. This 'w**d-pulling sort of thing has been something I've been obligated to do since it's one of those things jotted down on my 'List of Things to Do every Year'.
That list is a huge part of my life, ever since I've started it two years ago. It had become a consistent wish list and reminders of things I must and should do every year or every month or season, depending on the requirements of such a task. It is like therapy to me—like what dad used to call it—so that I won't forget what's important to me... My promise, my vow. My commitment.
The sun was so high on this particular day making me sweat like a pig, but I didn't care. I wouldn't pass a thing that has been calming me for over two years now over a fear of getting too much radiation.
James looks down at me, still standing there as if he's waiting for something to happen. I let him do what he wants since I'm also kind of getting some blocks from the sun rays.
"Sorry, but can't ignore a lady when she needs help," James says after a minute and crouches down beside me. He started to pull out weeds on his side too as I glare at him.
"I don't need your help," I told him.
"Your dad said otherwise," he shrugs, rejecting my protests. I look out towards the house, scowling. What can I even say to that? He's got dad on his side now. Even Evan had gone "fangirling" over him—asking me annoying questions about James throughout the entire school week that even Beth got so curious she began worrying about Evan's obsessive questioning and teasing about him. She also insisted she'd visit me this weekend to meet James too.
"Whose driveway did you sleep last night, huh?" I ask him instead, trying to annoy him so he'd just go away.
"Nope. Sadly, it's not a driveway this time," he answers lightly, giving me a pointed look and smiles, "I've learned that lesson already."
I snorted back. He's basically implying my cold water incident.
"Haha," I say, "So where did you end up now?"
"At a park, on a bench," James shrugs, and something with the way he just directly answered my question made me think that he was really serious. So, he still is being locked out of their house. But why?
"Was it cold?" I ask him anxiously, forgetting about the weeds for a second.
"Can't really say. But I've already been on much colder places," he says, his face turned away from mine. And with that, I simply chose to drop the subject because I know he's obviously not comfortable talking about it now. Maybe it's something he doesn't want to share with anyone. I'm just someone who's too dumb to even care about his situation this time, so he's trying to act like it's nothing.
"So, dad told me you're enrolling at the community college. What are you taking?" I asked him instead, pulling more weeds this time. Dad had mentioned it this morning, maybe he was trying to gouge out a reaction from me. As if, I would even care, though.
"Philosophy," he says, piling the weeds he had taken out on a space between us.
"Wow," I reply, "Never figured you out to be the philosopher type."
"What?" James asks, feigning hurt, "You think I couldn't read?"
I laughed at him and throw a few leaves of grass in his direction.
"Hey!" He complains, smiling back, "You're supposed to put them here." He places the grass on the pile he was making between us.
I ignored him and continued on with the task at hand.
"What is this anyway?" he asks suddenly, "A new hobby on a Saturday morning?"
"Deal with it, Jamey boy," I say instead, dodging his probing queries, "No questions."
"Fine," he sighs, "You'd better pay me with snacks after we're done with this."
"Hey, I didn't ask you to do this, you can leave, you know?"
"But I'm doing it anyway. So, you'd better pay for my services, lady! Nothing's free nowadays."
"And they say chivalry is dead," I muttered, scowling.
"You're way prettier when scowling," he teases and I snort at him, earning that pretty laugh again that never failed to amuse me. I grin back.
"Where's the rain when you needed one?"
It was friggin' hot and exhausting. We've already finished pulling out the weeds on the yard a long while ago and we've just eaten the entire pack of chips on the cupboard. Now, I'm just feeling too tired and sweaty. Just the simple gust of the wind made my skin burn from the irritating heat. I sat behind the kitchen counter, nursing my fifth glass of iced cold water with James standing by the fridge. Just standing there, while drinking lemonade.
"Aren't you hot?" I ask him, blurry-eyed from sweating too much.
"Yes, I am," James smugly smiles back to me, "Super hot."
I snort and roll my eyes at his lame joke, gulping the rest of my iced cold water that seemed to be not that cold enough anymore.
"Wanna have some ice cream instead?" James suggests, offering me a small smile.
"You gonna pay?" I say to him as a challenge.
"Sure," he shrugs, "Let's go."
"You serious?!" My mouth hangs open. Shocked.
"Why? You think I'm that cheap?" he tells me with a glare as if it has offended him that I didn't believe.
I looked at him innocently, "I just didn't expect you'd really agree."
"Well, I did. So let's go," he says, standing straight and then looks at me for a minute, "We're taking your car."
It's been only a week, but James seems to be fitting himself right into my daily life already as if he had been doing it ever since the beginning. I can't still figure out how he got so damn comfortable right away, that even my friends and my parents already trusted him enough to hang out with me.
I watch him from the passenger's seat, just studying his profile. He looks so easy-going with one arm resting on the wheel and the other on the stick. Everything about him, the way he looks, and the way he moves, even just the way he sat there on the driver's side of my truck screams "PUZZLE FIT". And in some weird way, it makes me nervous. As if I'm having a moment of another Deja vu and I keep on chucking it back to the past and bury it there. I'm not ready to take a peek at them yet. Not now, not sooner.
"What?" James looks at me, noticing the way I was staring at him.
"Nothing," I look away. "Eyes on the road, boy," I told him instead and he obliges.
"Your car's AC should be fixed," James says through the blazing heat, turning the car's temperature lower. But nothing happened.
"I'll make a mental note of it," I replied, sighing.
"Never mind," James interjects, "I'll fix it."
"You don't have to," I say, tapping my fingers on the dashboard.
"You can pay me by buying the ice cream though," he smiles and I scoff in return.
"I knew it," I grunt and he chuckles. He is a con-man.
"I'd like a gallon of double-dutch flavored ice cream, please," he smirks and I can't believe he even had the nerve to demand what flavor! He was the one who offered to buy ice cream when in the end I was still the one who's going to pay for it anyway. Damn, this creep.
"Where are you?!"
It was on the fifth call when I finally noticed that Beth was calling me. I had turned my phone silent this morning, forgetting to check on it after pulling the weeds in the front yard. Well, if not because of my constant bickering and teasing with Jamey boy I would have remembered. And now, Beth sounded pissed off through the receiver.
"I've been calling you and texting you multiple times, you're not answering!" she raises her voice and I flinch, feeling guilty, "I'm in front of your house right now and you're not even home! Where in the hell are you?!"
Okay, so she's angry. But, shouldn't I be the one curious of why she even bothers to meet me on a Saturday afternoon when I knew better that she doesn't do Saturday hang-outs... Not at all, as far as I could remember.
"I'm on my way back. Give me five minutes."
"You better be!" she hisses, "I'm burning my skin off here!"
She hangs up and I sigh in relief.
"Who's that?" I hear James asks me from the driver's seat.
"Someone who's looking forward to meeting you," I say, smiling back at him.
"Really?" he frowns.
"Just drive, Jamey boy," I say, looking out of the window, stretching my arms out for a moment, "There's no need to worry." Really.
It's just Beth... The man-eater.