Free Falling

19|Coming Out

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Preston looked at me with pleading eyes as he fidgeted nervously, shifting his weight between his feet. Furrowing my eyebrows, I nodded and shut my locker, tucking my skateboard underneath my arm as I followed him inside an empty classroom.

Preston closed the door behind him and froze, turning around to look at me with bewilderment slashed across his face, as if now that I was here, there was no turning back.

"Preston, what's wrong?" I frowned. It concerned me to see him so bent out of shape. His collared sweater hung off his body oddly and instead of his usual khaki pants, he wore jeans that were too large for his scrawny figure. It was like he couldn't be bothered with his appearance.

"I'm gay."

The words flew from his lips so fast that I barely had time to process them, but as soon as my brain caught up to speed, my eyes widened. Preston was even more nervous as he tugged on the bottom of his knitted sweater, anticipating my reaction. I forced my face to relax and make it seem as if he hadn't just come out to me of all people.

"That's good," I began slowly, nodding my head as I tried for words of encouragement. "I mean, I'm glad you told me."

Preston's shoulders sagged as he sighed in relief, the weight of carrying this secret lifting off his shoulders graciously. "You're the first person I told."

"Why is that?"

Preston sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "'I've been friends with the guys ever since birth that we're practically family. We talked about everything like which girls we had crushes on and who was our first kiss. I couldn't possibly tell them that my first kiss was with a boy named Johnny and that my first crush was William. I'm scared that if I tell them this one thing, it would destroy everything. They'd look at me differently like I wasn't-"

"One of them," I finished. Preston nodded weakly. "Listen, Pres, your sexuality does not make you any less of a guy than any straight guy in the world. Hell, I like guys and I'm a lot more manly than my brother." Preston choked out a laugh and I realized that he was on the verge of tears.

"You have to trust your bond with the guys are strong enough to oversee this. It's nothing major. You like guys, so what? If they can't get over that and see you for who you are, and trust that you're still the same person they call brother, then you need a new family. I'll be your family. s**t, you are my family."

"You're my family, too," he said, a tear trailing down his cheek. I brushed it away and pulled him in for an embrace.

"I love you, Preston, don't forget that," I mumbled, holding onto him tightly as he cried into my shoulder. On the outside, he could be brandished as this preppy, know-it-all, but he was as flawed as the rest of us. It was a miracle that he came out the way he did with such a horrible past, a past I was still knew nothing of but was never ignorant to.

We pulled apart and I began gathering my bag and skateboard, following Preston to the door.

Preston stopped when we neared the door and turned to me, giving me a smile of gratitude. "Thanks, Cathy. For everything. Ever since we met you, you've been there for us since day one. Protecting us, not believing the stupid rumors, trusting us." He then tilted his head and looked at me curiously. "I wonder who's there for you."

My breath hitched and I grew inarticulate, completely caught off guard by his observation. It was like Preston had opened me up and revealed the bitter darkness swimming inside me, seeing that I was as flawed as the rest of them, if not worse. I wondered if he knew how many times I'd cried myself to sleep because the pain was unbearable.

The bell interrupted our heart-to-heart session and we snapped out of our little moment. Preston turned to the door once again but then paused, craning his head around to meet my gaze.

"One more thing," he said, a sheep smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, "Tommy asked me on a date and I said yes."

I blinked. "Tommy? Like the boy on the basketball Tommy?"

Preston waved me off. "He's not out yet but he said it's fine if I told you."

"Okay," I drawled, a bit confused as to why he trusted me with his most precious secret, not that I would go around spreading it with loose lips.

He hesitated. "And I suggested a double date."

My eyes widened and I nodded my head slowly to show him that I was listening, but the goosebumps on my arm immediately told me this conversation was going to take a wrong turn.

"And," he continued, and my stomach clenched, "I said that after I tell Cathy, I would tell Eli because the others scare me and Eli is more...well, he's Eli.."

I nodded wordlessly.

Preston sighed, and I held my breath, preparing myself for the next thing that came out of his mouth. "Will you and Eli go on a double date with me and Tommy?"

I blinked once, twice, and then a third before I gulped. "But wouldn't we be imposing on your first date?"

"Yeah, but we're scared that someone from school will see us, but if they see us all together then it won't raise questions."

That was actually a pretty smart plan, so smart that I couldn't argue with him. Preston was clearly the brains of the operation.

"Is that a yes?" he asked, hopefulness gleaming in his eyes. As soon as I saw his bottom lip quiver, I knew he had me.

"Sure, anything for you, Pres."

"Really?" he said, brows arching with complete surprise. "That's amazing! Thank you so much, Cathy."

"Anytime."

Preston was the first to leave, and I gave myself a few minutes to recollect before entering the mass of students crowding the hallway. I walked into my first period and sat down next in my seat, surprised to see that Eli was earlier than me. Usually, he would walk in seconds before the bell rung since his locker was on the other side of the school.

"What's up?" I said, turning my body to shoot him a small smile.

Eli barely spared me a glance, staring at his phone with a calculated stare. "Preston just texted me to meet him after school."

"Hmm," I mumbled noncommittally, leaning over to pull my notebook from my bag.

"He never texts me so urgently before. Do you think something's wrong?"

"He probably just wants to talk to you about something. Don't worry yourself over it."

Eli nodded and clicked his phone off. "Yeah, I'm just a bit high on stress these days."

This time I acknowledged him with a concerned frown, turning my seat so I could have a clear view of his face. "Have you been sleeping?"

He sighed raggedly and fisted his hair. "Some nights, but I haven't had a good night's rest since the night you came over."

My eyes widened at the revelation and I cleared my throat, racking my brain for any words of encouragement I could pass along, but I came up short. Hell, I hadn't been sleeping well most nights, also, but I hid the proof well whereas Eli's wrinkled shirt and dark-circled eyes said otherwise.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I felt the hairs on my scalp prickle. "I could, um, well, if you want me to-I just think-"

"Spit it out, Cathy," Eli laughed, but he shot me a concerned look.

"I can spend the night. Only if you want me to," I rushed, wincing at the desperation in my voice. I was not one for subtly, that was for sure.

But Eli's lips turned upright into a full-blown grin. "Sure, I'd love that."

"Okay," I breathed, staring at his dark pools of chocolate that captured me every time he looked at me. "I'll see you tonight, then."

What he didn't know was that I would be seeing him a lot sooner than tonight.