His Lost Mate

Chapter 8

Freja

I’ve skipped training for a few days so I could give my body the much needed rest, but I spent a lot of time with Alaric. I’m nervous and anxious about going to the Blood Moon pack to take over as alpha and queen. I’m still not used to referring to myself as either of those. When I was imprisoned by my old pack, I never thought of the future. Well, I can’t say that; the only future I thought of was how I was going to escape. There was never any thought of where I would go or what I would do. Especially nothing along the lines of taking over as queen of the shifters or alpha of a pack.

All of the warriors are waiting for Ares when we get to the training field. I feel bad for making him less punctual, but this time it was not my fault. He woke up with a massive hard on. I told him we’d be late but he didn’t care, not that I really minded either. And we’re only ten minutes late.

I spot Damon and I’ve been wanting to talk to him but he’s always busy in the gym or working. Plus, I really don’t want to bother him. I tell Ares I have to talk to Damon before we get started and he nods. Damon is talking to a few other warriors, and I don’t want to interrupt so I just stand back and shift from foot to foot. They notice me and bow their heads and walk away.

“Hey Freja, what’s up?” He asks.

“Can we talk for a moment?”

“Of course,” he says. We walk over to more private area and sit on a bench I know what I want to ask him but I don’t know how. “I can’t see you’re nervous, and I’m not sure why. You can tell me or ask me anything.”

“Well, first I wanted to tell you thank for helping in rescuing me,” I begin but he stops me.

“No thanks necessary, you’re the future queen. I’d lay my life down for you in a heartbeat.”

“You have no idea how grateful I am for that,” I pause and sigh. “Second, I wanted to talk about Claire.” He sighs and I understand why. He’s hurt that she didn’t at least go to him when Theo threatened her and stole her daughter.

“I guess I just don’t understand why she wouldn’t ask for help,” I say.

“She’s stubborn. Probably thought she could handle it on her own and hit way in over her head,” he says bitterly. “She should know that I would do anything to help her because I have. And she knows I would protect Lexi with my life.”

“What happened to her mate?” I ask.

“He was killed by rogues not long after Lexi was born. Claire was devastated, obviously. She didn’t want to live. I actually took care of the baby for a while. She didn’t abandon her if that’s what you’re thinking. She just couldn’t care for her like she deserved. I took them both in and cared for them until Claire was back on her feet and had the will to live.”

“That’s very kind of you,” I say but then it hits me. “You love her.” He nods his head, but looks sad. “Does she know that?”

He shakes his head, “No, I’ve never told her how I feel.”

“Why not? You should tell her,” I say.

“Does it matter? What she did is punishable by death. And I don’t even know if I still feel the same after all this.” I just look at him and I know he’s lying. He’s got it bad; I smirk at him. “Fine, but what’s the point?”

“Wouldn’t you want to know?” He shrugs. I roll my eyes, men are so obtuse.

“And what if she doesn’t feel the same? I can’t take the rejection again,” he looks sad.

“You had a mate before?”

“Yes, and she rejected me. Said she wanted more than just some warrior. So she went and mated the king’s daughter.”

“That’s awful. I’m sorry. But you can’t be scared your whole life, Damon,” I tell him. It’s funny, though, because I’ve only just started to believe that myself. “I can’t promise I’m going to forgive her any time soon, if I ever do. But you have to promise me something.”

“You know, you’re mean,” he points at me because he knows what I’m asking.

“Yeah, but Ares finds it funny when I’m mean to you guys,” I laugh. “You have to tell Claire how you feel. Scared or not, she has to know.”

“Fine,” he says quietly and puts his head down like he’s in trouble. I can’t help but smile, he looks like a toddler. “I’ll tell her. But can you make sure Ares doesn’t kill her?”

“I can’t make any promises but I can try to keep him busy,” I say. He makes a face and I laugh. “Come on, we should go train before Ares has a fit.”

By the time we get back to the training field everyone is already partnered up and sparring. That leaves me to train with Damon. My stomach drops. I don’t want to fight with him, he’s big. And scary. And will likely make me look like an i***t. I look at Ares with wide eyes.

“Sorry baby, but you have to fight him sooner or later,” he tells me and then gets close to my ear, “And I can’t make any promises either.”

He’s talking about Claire. He was listening to my conversation with Damon. “You know it’s rude to eavesdrop?”

“I heard my name, I had to listen to make sure you weren’t talking bad about me,” he says. “You get to tell my dad what you’ve decided, though. He’ll be just as thrilled as I am.” I grumble to myself and prepare to get my ass kicked by Damon.

As expected, I did, in fact, get my ass handed to me. He’s fast, and I ended up on the ground more than staying on my feet. I did get one good shot in on him, though. I was able to get past his guard once and punch him in the jaw. But I paid for it tenfold. He didn’t go easy and I didn’t expect him to. When Ares called for everyone to run the perimeter I fell to the ground, exhausted.

Ares

I didn’t intend to listen to Freja’s conversation with Damon. But what I heard didn’t sit well. If it were up to me, Claire would be dead. She deserves nothing less. She betrayed he pack and her future queen. I don’t know if I can just forgive and forget.

Freja decided to go run with the warriors, which is probably for the best because I’m not sure I’ll be the best company right now. It’s takes everything in me to turn toward the pack house and not to the prison cell Claire is currently in. All I want to do is rip her throat out. The only person that could calm me down right now, other than Freja, is my mom. I find her in the study looking over some plans to renovate the guest house.

I knock on the door frame and she looks up from her papers, “Ares, come in. Have a seat sweetheart.” I know she can see the frustration on face. I’ve never been very good at hiding my feelings, especially from her.

“What’s bothering you son?” She asks.

“Freja,” I sigh and she lifts a brow.

“Did you try seeing it from her side?”

“I didn’t even tell you what it’s about,” I say, confused.

“Sweetheart, I’ve been with your father for many, many years. You are him made over, I don’t need to know what this is about to know what to tell you,” she says. She’s probably right. “Did you talk to her about what’s bothering you?”

“No, not yet. I’m too mad, and she went for a run with the warriors.”

“Huh, you decided to leave her side because you’re mad at her. Do you think that was the best decision?” She asks. She’s not making me feel any better.

“No,” I start to say but she interrupts me. “Ares, if you are mad at your mate, you should talk to her about it. The key to a relationship is communication.” I should have talked to Elena, she would have taken my side.

“If you thought you’d come in here and I would tell you exactly what you wanted to hear, that you’re right and she’s wrong, then you’ve got another thing coming.”

“But what if she is wrong?” I retort.

“If you’re sure she is wrong, then talk to her. She probably has a good reason for the decision she made. You know, us women don’t make decisions lightly, as you men would like to believe. Chances are, this has been weighing heavy on her for a while.”

“You know what decision I’m talking about, don’t you?” I ask her suspiciously.

“Of course I do, I’m your mom. You can’t hide anything from me,” she smiles. I roll my eyes because there are plenty of things I’ve hidden from her. Things that I don’t talk about with anyone.

I’m not feeling any better when I leave the study. She’s right, though. I do need to talk to Freja. I need her to see that her decision to let Claire live is wrong. You can’t just do the things she did and have no consequences. That’s how packs get out of hand, much like her old pack. She, of all people, should know that. I don’t understand how she can just let this go. If she’s doing this for Damon, that’s not a good enough reason. He can find someone else. Hell, he may have a second chance mate out there somewhere.

I’m too grumpy to work with my dad so I decide to go for a run myself. Maybe it will help me clear my mind and calm my thoughts. I strip my clothes off at the edge of the forest and take off, shifting mid step. Branches and limbs cut into me as I don’t dodge them. I keep myself from healing because I want to feel the pain. This is one the things I keep hidden. I don’t want anyone, especially my mom, to know about this. I have it under control. Besides, if I hurt myself then I’m not hurting anyone else; no matter how much they may deserve it.

I run for hours, until my legs and muscles feel like they may give out any minute. I turn back for my house. I have blood matting in my fur. Although this is not unless the method I choose to cause myself pain, it’ll have to do. I’m sure Freja is wondering where I’ve been all afternoon. I’ve blocked out everyone trying to mind link; no one should have to deal with my foul mood.

Freja’s sitting at the island when I get home. I can see her through the open back door. I shift and walk in the house. She looks me over as I pass by her on my way to the bathroom. I hear her following me but I don’t stop. I know what I look like and I know she’s worried, but I’m not ready to talk about it yet.

“Ares, what happened? Are you okay?” She asks.

“I’m fine,” I say.

“You’re covered in blood. You don’t look fine.”

“Well, I am.” I turn the shower on to scolding

“Where were you today? I tried reaching you all afternoon. I was worried,” she says.

“I went for a run,” I tell her, keeping my answers short because I don’t want to say anything. I just want shower and go to bed. I’m still in a s**t mood.

“What are you not telling me?” She asks and I don’t mean to but I blow up. “I said I’m fine! Everything is just f*****g fine! Can you just leave me be?”

She looks like she’s going to cry but she holds it together as she turns and walks out of the bathroom. f**k, that was stupid. If I try to talk to her now I’ll just make it worse. So instead, I get in the shower. I’ll talk to her in the morning.

Freja didn’t come to bed last night. Well, not our bed. She stayed in the spare room. I heard her go in there before I fell asleep. I also felt how hurt she was but me being the stubborn i***t I am, let her cry herself to sleep. Yeah, I f****d up. This is the part of one of those sappy movies where most people would be yelling at the main character to go apologize and grovel for being a complete jackass. I’ve never been the groveling type, though. Does knowing how much of a jackass I am help? Probably not.

I get dressed and make my way to the kitchen, where I expect to find Freja, but she’s not there. I didn’t hear her moving about this morning, maybe she’s still in bed. I walk back down the hall and crack open the door to the spare room. She sitting in the chair by the window, sipping on a cup of coffee. Her eyes are red and puffy, like she cried all night. I put my head down and walk into the room. She doesn’t even look my way.

I kneel in front of her and try to take her hand but she pulls it away. She still won’t look at me. I can’t blame her; I was a jerk. “I’m sorry, Freja,” I tell her. She doesn’t say anything. A tear rolls down her face and I wipe it away. It’s what I should have done last night. Well, I never should have yelled at her in the first place.

“You don’t get to talk to me that way,” she says, keeping her gaze out the window. “You can be mad or whatever, but never speak to me like that again.”

“I won’t, I’m sorry. Please look at me Freja,” I reach for her again and she lets me take her hand. I kiss her fingers, “I’m so sorry, baby.”

When she finally looks at me my heart cracks open. I did this to the woman I love. I made her feel this way, I hurt her. I bring my hand up to cup her cheek and she closes her eyes. I lean towards her and kiss her lightly on the lips. She sniffles and I kiss her cheeks. They’re still damp from her tears so I wipe them dry. I give her one more kiss on her forehead. She sighs and leans into me, putting her head on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her and hold on tight, like I’m going to lose her if I don’t. I tell her one last time, “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” she whispers. We sit in silence for a while before she says, “We’re late again.” I smile. I used to be early for training, but waking up next to her every morning; I’d rather stay in bed than get up and train. “Yeah, Tomas has been covering for me but I think he’s getting annoyed. You think you can make him feel uncomfortable today?”

“Yeah, I think I can,” she laughs and it’s a beautiful sound. “Should I ask him how the s*x is with your sister?”

“Gross,” I say. “Please don’t say that again.”

Freja

I figured Ares was at me for my decision regarding Claire, but when he came home I was not expecting what I saw. I don’t even know what happened. It looked like he got into a fight with barbed wire. Cuts splattered across his skin, in various states of healing but it’s like he was keeping them from healing completely. I’m not even sure how he was able to do that. His skin was all healed this morning.

We went to the training field and as expected, Tomas looked annoyed. He crossed his arms over his chest when he saw us and said, “So, is this going to be an everyday thing now?” Ares laughed at him and l gave him an apologetic look. I sparred with him for a while, then switched to spar with Elijah. I like sparring with Elijah. I learn a lot from him. Not that Tomas is not a good teacher, Elijah just has different techniques.

After training, Ares and I met with Alaric to discuss Claire. I can tell Ares is on edge but he’s trying to reign in his disapproval. “It’s my decision Ares, and I don’t think she should be sentenced to death! You can growl all you want, but I understand why she did it. And she did what she could to keep Theo from killing me. I might not remember a lot from my time in that warehouse, but I do remember her helping me when we were alone,” I tell him.

“I’m never going to be happy with this, don’t try to justify her reasons. She could have came to us,” he argued.

“And her daughter would have been killed. Don’t you get that? Theo was a psycho. Any indication that she said anything to any one of us and he would have killed that little girl. Do you really want that blood on your hands?” He says nothing. “See, it’s not that simple.”

“She’s right, son. As much as I hate it, Claire was only trying to protect her family,” Alaric says. That didn’t sit well with Ares. He starts to pace, clenching and unclenching his fists. The muscle in his jaw twitching. I grab his hand, trying to soothe him.

“Sit down, you’re going to wear a hole in the floor,” I tell him and Alaric starting laughing. I look at him and he says, through his laughter, “I tell him that all the time. He needs to learn to relax.”

“I’m glad you find this funny, dad,” he says.

“Where is Claire’s daughter now?” I ask.

“She’s been with Claire’s mom since we got back. Claire hasn’t seen her yet,” Alaric tells me. I’m shocked by this information. She hasn’t been able to see her daughter in over a week.

“Are you serious?! Go get her, or have her mom bring her here. Claire has to see her daughter. She has to know she’s okay,” I tell them. Ares makes a face of disgust and I slap his arm. “If you’re not going to do anything, I will. I’ll find her and bring her here myself.”

“I’ll send for them, Freja. They’ll be here tomorrow. That’ll give Claire enough time to clean herself up,” Alaric says.

Ares is not happy at all when we leave his dad’s office. He growls at everyone that tries to talk to him. “Maybe you should go for a run. Just don’t come back bloody,” I tell him and he growls at me. “Don’t you growl at me!”

“I’m going home,” he says.

“I’m going to go talk to your mom, see if she can give me some insight on how to deal with your bad moods,” I tell him and he snorts.

“Good luck,” he says and walks toward his house. I throw my hands up and walk back towards the pack house to find Lily.

Lily’s in the kitchen putting some flowers in a vase. “Those are pretty, what are they?” I ask. She smiles and says, “Lilies, of course. Alaric gets me flowers every week. Always some type of lily. These are tiger lilies.”

“That’s sweet,” I tell her.

“What’s bothering you now?” She asks.

“Your son,” I say and she laughs. “You two are a perfect match. What did he do?”

“He’s so grumpy,” I whine and plot myself into a chair at the island. “I understand why he’s mad but he won’t say anything. Just growls at everyone. So, how do I deal with him when he’s like this?”

“Have you tried s*x?” She says. Alaric walks I. And walks right back out and says, “Nope.”

“Lily!” I’m surprised and she laughs some more. I laugh, too. I really don’t want to talk about s*x with Ares’ mom. That’s just weird. “Maybe I should talk to Elena.”

“No, no. She’s worse,” she says with a horrified look on her face. “Give him a little space and time. He’ll figure he’s wrong and you’re right. They always do, eventually.”

I hope she’s right. I don’t want Ares to be mad at me. And I hated not sleeping with him last night. I didn’t sleep at all. I cried most of the night because he wouldn’t talk to me. Maybe I should have given him space. He obviously wasn’t in the mood to talk and I pushed him.

“Thanks Lily,” I say and get up from the chair.

“You’re welcome, dear,” she says.

I walk back to Ares’ house but he’s not there. I hear water splashing out back and walk to the back door. He’s in the pool, swimming back and forth from one end to the other. I sit in one of the lounge chairs and wait for him to finish. He finally stops at the deep end and sits on the edge of the pool. He looks at me and I’m pretty sure he growls.

“Can we be done fighting?” I ask. He doesn’t say anything so I get up and walk around the pool. “Come on, Ares, you know this is stupid. We’re supposed to be mates. Partners. We’re supposed to support each other.”

“I can’t support your decision. You don’t know what it did to me when I found out she took you to that bastard,” he says. He’s right, I don’t know. But he also won’t tell me. He’s hiding himself away from me. Like he’s afraid to show that side of himself.

“Then tell me. Tell me everything. Stop hiding from me.”

“You don’t want to see that side of me, Freja. It’s dark.”

“It can’t be any darker than my own thoughts. You forget I was locked away and tortured for years? You don’t know how many times I’ve wished for my death,” I admit. “We can get through this together. But you have to let me in.” I sit down next to him and lace my fingers in his. He sighs and leans his head on mine, dripping water on me.

“I won’t do it again,” he says.

“Do what?” I ask.

“I won’t hurt myself again,” he whispers.

“That’s what the cuts were?” He nods. “Oh Ares.” I know I can’t say anything to really make him feel better. It’ll just mask the pain he has inside himself. All I can do is just be there for him.

“When you went missing, it was like my heart was ripped from my chest. When we found you, beaten almost to death and drugged, it felt like it was being ripped out all over again. Finding out Claire was behind all of it.. It’s like everything just piled up and kept piling up. And I was pissed at you because you’ve forgiven her. Hurting myself was the only outlet.” Hearing him say this hurts. I feel his pain, it’s deep. I don’t want him to feel this way ever again. I’ll do anything to keep him off that edge.

“I haven’t forgiven her at all. I probably never will. Right now, I hate her. But I’m not going to let what she did stop me from being happy. And neither should you.”

“I can’t be happy while she remains unscathed from all this,” he says.

“I’m not going to kill her and leave her daughter an orphan. I don’t think she deserves death. And I can’t keep having this same argument with you. We will have to agree to disagree, okay?”

He sighs heavily. “Fine. Agree to disagree. But she’s not training anymore. She doesn’t come near you.”

“That’s fair. But we’ll see her tomorrow when her daughter gets here,” I say and he growls. “I told you not to growl at me. Take it back.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles. “But after tomorrow, she’s dead to me.”

“Fair enough,” I say. “Now, I think you promised me you would teach me how to swim.” He chuckles, “Yes I did.”

He pulls me into the water with him but he doesn’t let go. He swims over to the shallow part of the pool with me on his back. He teaches me how to tread water, or doggy paddle. I feel the darkness starting to slip away from him and soon he’s smiling and laughing. But it’s still there; I can still see it behind his eyes, even though he’s trying to hide it.

When I’ve had enough water go up my nose and into my lungs, Ares sets me on the edge of the pool. He does some more laps and I watch him. I watch his muscles work. His shoulders are wide and his arms big. They’re every bit as big as my thigh. His body is beautiful, even with the few scars I can see. Before I know it, he’s standing at the end of the pool with that stupid smirk on his face.

“See something you like, my love?” He says and I blush. I feel the warmth creep up my neck and down to my now throbbing p***y. He crosses the pool to and puts his hands on my thighs. I look into his eyes and they are swirling with blue and gold. He squeezes my thighs, then spreads them. I’m only wearing a t-shirt, so I’m on full display to him and he growls. It’s a lustful growl and it make me throb. He runs his hand up my thigh until it meets my p***y. I gasp when his thumb traces over my c**t.

He kisses the inside of my thigh and pulls me forward, scraping my butt against the concrete. I lean back when his mouth covers my mound. When he flicks his tongue across my c**t I gasp, but it turns into a moan. He laps at my p***y until I’m sopping wet and on the edge of an orgasm. I protest when he stops. He laughs and dips his head back down and sucks my c**t into his mouth. I c*m hard, my juices coat his beard.

He lifts his head again and rests it on my thigh. I stroke his hair; it’s still wet from swimming. He stands up completely, pulls me into the water and walks to the corner of the pool. I’m not sure when he took his shorts off, but he slides himself into and we both moan. Being outside makes it more sensual somehow. Or maybe it’s because we’ve been mad at each other and this is makeup s*x.

I cling to him as he thrusts deep into me. His thrusts are relentless, and I don’t want this moment to ever end. We’ve been out of sync since I got back home and this is us finding our way back to each other. I kiss his lips hard and realize we haven’t even kissed in the past few days. Water splashes over the side of the pool with each thrust. His beard tickles my skin as he trails kisses down my neck. He licks and nips at his mark at the base of my neck and it sends shockwaves throughout my body. I arch my back and moan loudly. When he sinks his canines into my skin I c*m hard, moaning his name. His orgasm follows mine.

We sit in the pool trying to catch our breath for a moment. I cup his face with my hand, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole these last few days. I’m just trying to protect you. You mean everything to me.” He lifts me in his arms and carries me to the house.

“I love you so much, Ares.”

“I love you too, baby.”