Unapologetically Me

Chapter Fifty One

My muscles were sore and my stomach was flooded with butterflies. I peeked out of the curtain and saw the giant room full of half dressed women walking around in g-strings and garters. Beautiful women.

Men were lounging around drinking and talking, their eyes always glued to one woman or another, sitting in their laps or dancing in front of them.

I got the job. Since it was a trial run, I would only be serving drinks for the weekend, topless, and sitting and chatting (flirting) with the clientele. Kimmy and Hayley said that it was the easiest job to start with and they still got tipped big for it in the beginning. I was almost afraid that I wouldn't.

I knew I wasn't ugly, but I was lacking their self confidence. I shook my hands to get rid of my nerves and blew out a breath. I took one last look in the mirror back in the large, lavish dressing rooms. My hair was in soft waves and my makeup, done by Kimmy, was smoky. I looked hot, but my stomach was not agreeing with what I was about to do. I was also very aware how much bigger most of the other girl's chests were compared to mine.

I looked down at my six inch heels that I bought for the weekend, hoping I didn't break an ankle or two and backed away from the mirror, looking at the whole package.

I worked out for the whole week, trying to tone myself up for tonight, and obviously it doesn't happen overnight, but I was feeling better. My stomach was flat and my belly ring matched the color of my lacy black g-string.

The girls had a whole bunch of rules too, which I was glad to have.

"When you go to the bathroom, wipe with wet wipes. Toilet paper will show under the blue lights."

"If a man gets handsy, look at Paulo and he will come to you immediately."

"Smile, but not too big. Show a little bit of teeth, but don't look overly excited."

"If you feel uncomfortable with a man, wink at Paulo or Ricardo and they will escort him out."

"Don't ever let anger show. Even if they touch you. Always just smile and try to get away from the situation."

"Being half naked does not give them the right to speak to you like you are beneath them."

Perfume behind your ears, wrists and right on your collar, but don't overdo it."

I tried to think of every little thing they told me but it was a lot of information. It was kind of scary.

"You ready?"

I glanced at one of the other four new girls that was starting with me. She was tall with long, beautiful legs and a short, brown bob haircut. She had on a red thong and shorter heels and had a nice sized chest. Probably a c-cup. She was gorgeous and her name was Riley.

"Not really, but let's go anyways." She smiles and takes my arm as we walk out to the bar area.

Immediately, I see men begin eyeing us. My stomach erupted with butterflies and I feel so nauseous and scared. But nonetheless, I smile and grab my tray and begin walking around with flutes of champagne up to the upper levels where the private parties are held.

I walk around the large upper floor with burgundy carpets and a chandelier in the dead center, handing out drinks and smiling, seeing men's eyes look at my chest and down to my legs. They are seated in large, comfortable leather chairs situated around small round tables.

"Holy hell, mama, you are gorgeous!" I glanced at an older gentleman and smiled at him as he reaches for a glass. He pats his leg and I feel my heart in my throat as I set the tray down on his table and sit on his lap.

"Well, hello, beautiful, what is your name? I have seen most of the beauties around here, but I have never laid eyes on you." He had salt and pepper hair and was wearing a blue suit. It looked like he might have just gotten out of work. He smelled nice, like cologne and despite everything, I didn't feel uncomfortable.

"You can call me Kay." I told him with a smile.

"Well, Kay, you are a gorgeous woman." He kept his hands beside him on the chair and kept his eyes mostly on my face.

"Thank you. And I haven't seen a more handsome man." I ran my hand over the top of his chest, feeling his heart pound in his chest. Mine too, honey. Mine too.

"Listen to this guys! She's never seen a more handsome man!" His friends sitting around him chuckled and I gave them all a small smile.

He lifted up a fifty dollar bill and slowly placed it on my hip, tucking it into my g-string. "You keep bringing drinks by here. Only you, Kay."

I smiled down at him, my heart thundering.

"Yes sir."

His eyes were full of lust as I slowly slid out of his lap, bending over in front of him to grab my tray. He brought his hand up to his mouth, biting his knuckle as I straightened up. That was one other thing the girls told me worked wonders.

"I'll be around." I husked at him. He nodded as I went to the bar upstairs and got more drinks. Behind the bar, we each had our own place to keep our tips and I deposited mine quickly with a small smile.

I made my rounds, flirting with a few guys as I went, but as I promised, I visited the older gentleman's table more often, receiving tips from the other two men as well as my first one every time I'd sit and have a chat with them.

So far, no touching had occurred, which was a relief to me, but maybe these guys knew the rules and wanted to keep coming back.

After serving them most of the night, the man told me to call him Dave. His other friends were Ethan and Daniel. They often frequented on Saturday nights and requested right before I left, if I would serve them each time.

I found it as a win. More tables filled up with different types and as the night went on, I found that being able to sit with these men gave my feet the relief they needed from the heels, and gained me plenty of tips.

The butterflies went away after a while and I felt okay. The upper floor, thanks to Kimmy, was proving to be the best place to serve, seeing as Riley ended up going home early down on the lower level after a guy tried to touch her inappropriately.

There were about three fights downstairs and one guy was thrown out when he got so drunk and pulled one of the other new girl's panties down.

It scared me that the next day I would have to be downstairs, but I hoped that this was just a bad day for them down there.

At the end of the night, only two out of the five girls that were hired survived the night. It was both of us that were upstairs, which didn't give me any confidence about coming back the next day. Her name was Daisy, and as we showered in the back, we talked about being super nervous about being downstairs and whether we would try to stay.

Kimmy and Hayley were still busy by the time it was time for me to go,so I didn't wait. Paulo walked me out to my car and even though my day hasn't been bad, I wasn't sure whether I wanted to go back.

It wasn't until I got home at three in the morning and took a peek in my tip box that I decided that I couldn't not go back.

I counted my money slowly, with tears in my eyes and took a deep breath. I made five hundred bucks and some change. It was practically my full check before I started working doubles, in just one night. And I wasn't even a dancer yet.

I laid in bed with my cash and held it to my chest. It was my first night and now along with my check from the convenience store, I could pay off one of my mom's big bills and still have money for the week.

That didn't include what I would probably make the next day either.

I grinned up at the ceiling and sighed. I took my phone out and looked through it to see if I had any missed calls or messages from the girls. My stomach twisted when I saw one from James and I automatically felt guilt rip through my chest.

Hey baby, tried calling but I guess I caught you when you were busy. Call me back when you can.

I stared at his message and took a deep breath. I dialed his number and wiped my eyes.

"Hello?" His voice was groggy from sleep and I felt even more guilty.

"Hey baby, I'm sorry. I got swamped. Do you want me to let you go?"

"No! I can talk. What are you doing now?"

I looked around the room and grimaced. "I came to the back. Charlene is with me so I can come talk for a bit."

"That's good. I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"I'm seriously thinking about getting an after school job so I can start saving money for plane tickets to come see you."

"Oh God, that would be amazing. I want to see you so badly."

"I know. Me too. You have no idea how many times I sit here and stare at your picture."

I smile. "Me too. I have the one of you and I at the Seether concert as my screen saver."

"Oh the one where we're tongue f*****g eachother's mouths?"

I laugh at his description and nod. "Yeah. That's the one."

"F*ck, I love that picture."

"Yeah it's one of my favorites too."

He yawned and then groaned. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah." My stomach squeezed and I sat up in bed, hoping he didn't somehow find out.

"Do you still love me?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What kind of question is that? Of course I do." I swallowed hard.

"Do...do you still love me?"

"Yes. One hundred percent. I just...with the distance, I didn't know if anything has changed for you."

"Not in that department. Has it for you?"

"No." He said quickly. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I mean, I miss you a ton and I can't stop thinking about you. I just don't want it to fade, you know?"

"Yeah." I closed my eyes. "If it starts to feel like it's fading for you, will you at least give me a heads up?"

He stayed silent for almost a minute. "Yeah. Same for you."

The pause had me feeling strange and I didn't know how to handle it.